I just want to be a normal person again.

toby888

I don't want to be "special". I don't want to believe stuff I don't belive in anymore. I'm tired of feeling isolated from humanity. I'm tired of hearing self-righteous bigotry against other religions and gays and lesbians and anybody else the JW's say are "wicked". I like everybody. I want everybody to be happy. If they shun me fine if that's your religion and it makes you happy then fine shun me. I'm so tired of it all. Half the cong. is on prozac.

I had a dream last night- I was with some Scientology guys and they were introducing me to their newest members. All the new members had gross deformities of some sort, and as they introduced themselves to me it was all I could to keep from letting out some expression of horror. I had to be polite and say "pleased to meet you" to a man with a shrunken head and exposed internal organs. Now I realize that the ones who get into the JW cult maybe are broken people, and maybe for a while the org. works for them. It's when you get well and are forced to stay in from fear of man that you get sick. I am beginning to think that it really is for me "leave or die".

Just wanted share this with everyone.

in a new york bethel minute

good luck with all that!... but really, i like your outlook.

blondie

As we said at the ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meeting, "what's normal."

You think just not ever having been a JW makes you normal?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1558740902/104-1440125-4286358?v=glance

Now What?

Thanks for sharing.

I felt very similar over time and thought of the analogy of people in a hospital. When a person gets better and no longer can gain anything from being in the hospital, they leave and go back to everyday living. I too, have come to where the witness organization no longer does anything for me and just want to move on.

Good Luck to you!

tetrapod.sapien

toby,

that was a crazy-ass dream! but i think so true, metaphorically.

don't worry. you will get "normal" again. leaving is the first and most difficult step.

that said, unfortunately, you will probably carry the "ex-JW" label, even subconsciously, for thed rest of your life. i could be wrong, but i think it's a safe bet. however, there will come a time when being an ex-JW is not such a huge issue, as it is right now. which i hope gives you something to look forward to. i am finding in my experience, that everyday that goes by, i become more and more worldly, and more and more easy-going. being an ex-JW is a fun diversion, and although my experiences will never disapear, i become more and more of just simply a human.

best wishes on your journey,

TS

outoftheorg

If you were born into a JW family, you were never normal Toby.

So you can't go "back" to being normal.

But you can "become" normal over time, after you discard the "so called truth".

It takes some time and some effort. But little by little you will see it develop.

This is one reason why we should check out our new beliefs and actions and behaviour.

Because we are now building this new personality, and dropping the old personality

created by the wbts. We want this new personality to be of " OUR MAKING" and not

a mix of the thinkings of others. This is my situation.

However if you do have an original personality to return to, it is that much easier.

Best wishes on your journey.

Outoftheorg

onesong

Leaving certainly can be difficult and scary but the rewards are well worth it. And you're right about the people that join. Having been raised as one I wonder how any relatively happy, healthy person buys it.I guess the idea of living forever is the ultimate sales pitch to those who fear death.

AK - Jeff

T888

This forum will help you on that pathway. Vent, release, cry, scream, ask for help. All of the above will help.

Glad to have you here. GL

Jeff

dedpoet

toby, thanks for sharing that. You will find that the longer you are away from the borg, the more "normal" life will become.

evita

Hi Toby
I felt the same way when I was leaving the dubs in my early 20's. I just wanted to have normal feelings and responses to the world. I couldn't see spending the rest of my life seeing everything through the JW lens. I was miserable fakin' it. Leaving was painful but so worth it.
Here's something I found out after being out for over 20 years. Everyone has baggage and difficult experiences in their past. Yes, having a witness past has certain unique problems associated with it. But that shouldn't stop you from experiencing all that life has to offer. It will take some effort, courage, and maybe a good therapist.
I have had many setbacks, cried many tears, and lost my relationship with my beloved mom. Still, I have never regretted my decision to leave. I truly have a wonderful life even though I carry some residual effects from my years as a witness..
Wishing you the best!
Eva

I just want to be a normal person again.

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