The story of my life (part 15- Betrayed)

by onacruse 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    I'd recaptured the "community," (or, perhaps, better said: the "community" had recaptured me). My wife and I were invited to one party after another, old friends, and new friends. Indeed, there was a considerable degree of subliminal suspicion about me; after all, I'd been DFd, and who knew what I really thought? But they, and I, set those concerns aside. Life was again good, and somehow I found yet another psychological reason to set aside all the disappointments of my last 20 years with the WTS.; don't ask me why, or how, but I did.

    Then, a really nasty thing reared it's head: the wife of an elder said that her husband had been having an affair with my wife, for at least 2 years.

    I couldn't believe it, if for not that I'd known all these people (including the elder and his wife) since we were all teenagers. In fact, after spending a couple of years as a warehouseman, and then another couple of years as a self-employed janitor (yes, the good old "JW janitor" thing), I finally was offered a "respectable" job by this very elder, in his construction company. And, fwiw, I'd always considered his wife to be a snooty little bitch, born into a JW family that expected only the "best" for their children. So, I discounted her accusations as being just another evidence of her dissatisfaction with the otherwise considerable financial success of her husband.

    This became a hurricane. There were two committees: one in the congregation of the elder (5 members on the committee there), and another committee in the congregation that my wife and I were now attending. We bounced like pingpong balls between the two, meeting after meeting, question after question.

    In the "elders" congregation, there were almost a dozen witnesses against him. Among other things, these witnesses said that they had found one of my wife's dresses in their mother's closet. I was asked to identify it. How the heck was I to know? Did I inventory my wife's dresses? Jesus. They said that they had seen her car parked outside on a certain night, but failed to take photographs. That night, I was working late, and had no reason whatsoever to think that anything was amiss: she was home when I got home.

    After a couple of hours of this kind of testimony, the chairman of the committee turned to me and asked what I thought. I said (and this is a quote): "If there is any man (and I had heartfelt emphasis in my voice when I said this) on this planet with whom I would trust my wife, it would be (this elder)."

    That ended the meetings. However, based on the circumstantial evidence, he was removed as an elder, and an announcement to that effect was made at the next SM.

    Then, about a week later, one of the committee elders called me, to ask if he could meet with me and my wife. Of course, I agreed; I thought it was all a done deal, and that he was going to tell me that the wife of (this elder) had confessed that all these accusations were mere fabrications.

    When he arrived, he asked me to sit down.

    My wife was sitting beside him.

    He told me that she had confessed that it was all true: she'd been having an affair with this elder all during my DF period, and since, and had even before then had designs upon him (since he had a whole lot more money than did I).

    I was blown back into my chair, as if someone had just hit me in the face with a baseball bat. I was stunned, beyond any words I can offer to describe how I felt.

    She ran out the door, and, after a few utterly meaningless words, the elder left...and I was alone.

    In one fell swoop, everything that I'd hoped for, and struggled for, to rejoin a community, was shattered into the smallest of pieces, ripped to shreads. In the one mere microsecond that it took for that elder's words to pass across the floor, I'd lost the wife of my virgin youth, I'd lost the vast majority of my employment, I'd lost yet another friend, and I'd lost my dignity as a man. I never again set my foot into either of those Kingdom Halls, for shame of myself.

    And, as I struggled up the stairs to the bedroom, in that lonely vacant house that was once my home, I wondered why I would ever bother to set my foot again onto the ground of this miserable planet.

    I opened the lower drawer of my dresser drawer, and pulled out the 0.38 Special I'd bought many years before (for target practice). I checked to make sure it was loaded, laid myself on the bed, pulled back the cock, and put the barrel up into my mouth.

    As I pulled on the trigger, my religious fears overcame me: I was about to destroy any chance I had for a resurrection.

    In spite of the fact that my guts were eating themselves right out from inside me, like a pain that I'd never ever experienced, and didn't think I could ever survive...I put the gun down.

    There are just a very few days, or nights, that I will remember till the day I do finally die...but this one was by far the ultimately worst of everything I'd ever experienced, till then, or since then.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    Once again thanks for sharing your story with us. I personally am grateful as I know many others are that you didnt pull the trigger that day and you are here to serve as an example of strength to us all. Hugs.

  • seven006
    seven006

    Craig,

    was your ex-wife hot?


    Just kidding buddy. I remember when this all went down. I was still married to the sister of the woman married to the cousin of the elder who was involved with all this. The whole family was a few bricks shy of a finished outhouse.


    I’m glad you didn’t shoot yourself. If you ever get that urge again give me a call. I still have my .357 magnum.


    Take care ya nut and hurry up and get to the part where you met me and quit dragging this on so long.


    Huggs,


    Dave


    PS. I just thought you needed a little laugh after writing about this.

  • Aude_Sapere
    Aude_Sapere

    Craig -

    I read this about 15 minutes ago and had to get up and leave my computer room. I just don't have words to express unidentifiable feelings.....

    I can only barely imagine the horrible pain of just writing this part of your story. Let alone living the ordeal in the first place.

    My hope is that you find a little more healing during the process. You are very brave to tread here. Many would refuse. I know this story gets happier at some point so I continue to look forward to your next installment.

    Thank you for sharing all this with us. It helps to dispell some of my own painful past.

    -Denise.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    and I'd lost my dignity as a man

    But you didn't, Craig. Your wife lost her dignity as a human being.

    I'm glad you didn't shoot yourself.

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Dave:

    I said from the outset that I wouldn't name names; but, it must be known to almost anyone who has ever posted on this board that you, my friend, are one of the most irritating bastards I've ever met, and one of the few friends that I have been able to keep close to my heart.

    You've been there with me, through thick and thin; and in the context of this particular post, that counts for a whole lot.

    If nothing else, perhaps this post of mine will succeed in embarrassing you!

    (Emoticon added, just because I know it pisses you off).

    Craigster

  • heathen
    heathen

    Women can't live with them can't shoot em ......! For 2yrs. she lied to you , man oh man that would blow me away .......

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    Aude:

    I know this story gets happier at some point...

    The hardest part is over, though the surprises are not.

    And yes, there is very definitely a happy ending to my story!

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    Craig,

    I opened the lower drawer of my dresser drawer, and pulled out the 0.38 Special I'd bought many years before (for target practice). I checked to make sure it was loaded, laid myself on the bed, pulled back the cock, and put the barrel up into my mouth.

    As I pulled on the trigger, my religious fears overcame me: I was about to destroy any chance I had for a resurrection.

    What a moment. I sympathize. I had far less reason to try the same thing with a dull carpet knife on the wrist. I was too stupid to anticipate how much that would hurt.

    Maybe in some way our survival and hopefully a balanced happy life after the WT is the best condemnation of the fraudulous organization.

    Jst2laws

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo
    I opened the lower drawer of my dresser drawer, and pulled out the 0.38 Special I'd bought many years before (for target practice). I checked to make sure it was loaded, laid myself on the bed, pulled back the cock, and put the barrel up into my mouth.

    if i had had a gun i would have used it..for sure..although probably not on me first

    the reason i didnt kill myself was that i was trying to work out a way that i could guarantee that my sister would get my kidneys when i died..(she is on dialysis).and the only way i could think of was with a gun and i couldnt find one..(not so easy in uk)

    i know it gets happier from here on in...but are there days when you still wish you had...cos there are for me

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit