The constant, never-ending guilt. Guilt for not doing enough personal study, guilt for not studying with my children more, guilt for not preparing for meetings better, guilt for hating service, guilt for not going out in service more frequently, guilt for not wanting to conduct a Bible study or a have magazine route or even a regular return visit.
I will never forget those days full of a pervasive sadness that I wasn't, and never would be, good enough.