What if Nebraska became JW?

Fatfreek

Mostly I hate hypothetical questions but I'll make an exception since I'm the one who's asking.

If the U.S. heartland state of Nebraska suddenly found itself 90% occupied by Jehovah's Witnesses what do you think could happen? First off, I have more questions than answers.

Would the University of Nebraska still field a football team?
Would there be a university?
Would corn flakes exist?

Fats

Sam the Man

lol why corn flakes?!?!

gumby

If the U.S. heartland state of Nebraska suddenly found itself 90% occupied by Jehovah's Witnesses what do you think could happen?

Nebraska would be #1 as the state where polyester and yardsale clothes were the most prevalent.

The sewers would be plugged with hogie sandwiches and cheese danish fecal matter.

There would be no law enforcement and the 10% comprised of worldly people would terrorize the state.

Field service would result in witnesses trying to study with other witnesses kids to get their time in and they's quarrel with each other.

Gumby

garybuss

Would the University of Nebraska still field a football team?Yes, the 10% non Witnesses would still need education and fun.
Would there be a university? Actually this question should have been #1.
Would corn flakes exist? Yes but they would only be used in moderation.

horrible life

Would the University of Nebraska still field a football team?

Would there be a university?

Would corn flakes exist?

NO to the football team. Since my Oklahoma Sooners, who are at their lowest level of playing in years, beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers yesterday, I see no reason for them to continue their program. And with most JW young men, being too skinny and pimpley faced, they would not be able to even make a team.

Yes to the university. The society would take it over, and turn it into a mini bethel. Corn would still be grown, with slave labor. Ethanol gas would produced, and marketed to the world. The US, would soon rely on this gas, which would then be given only to the believers. A mass influx of new converts, come into the "truth".

Yes to the cornflakes. What else would the Nebraska Bethel feed the slave labor, but JW brand corn flakes.

Fatfreek

lol why corn flakes?!?!

Good question Sam, being from across the Pond. Nebraska is the Corn Husker state -- though one of the others actually produces more.

Gumby, Gary, and Horrible -- you had me rolling on the floor.

I suppose with the 10% making up law enforcement, the legislature, and the judicial systems (are there others?) -- what would happen to the pedophile rate?

With apostates being included in the 10%, where could they buy groceries, where would they work, who would sell them a home or rent to them?

Would the state supreme court be made up of rotating judicial comittees -- say, from Omaha, Grand Island, and Lincoln?

Which segment would field the doctors, the teachers, other professionals, law enforcement, et al?

Fats

garybuss

The word "flakes" is not a word Jehovah's Witnesses are very comfortable with.

Poztate

The leading cereal company - Kellogg - is named after John Harvey Kellogg's brother W.K. Kellogg, who John hired to develop the cereal concept into a marketable form, and who founded the company.

John Harvey Kellogg was a devout Seventh-day Adventist and one of the most prominent figures in the early development of the Seventh-day Adventist Church. John Harvey Kellogg was a contemporary of Ellen G. White (co-founder of Seventh-day Adventism). He was influential in the development of many of the Church's distinctive health and dietary teachings and practices. In about 1906, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg was excommunicated from the Seventh-day Adventist Church.

I think everybody missed the point. Naturally corn flakes would have to be banned because of the false religious influence..

Fatfreek

The word "flakes" is not a word Jehovah's Witnesses are very comfortable with

Yes, Gary. They've had their share of embarrasing ones, beginning with CTR.

And according to Poztate, the Witney's aren't the only ones with flaky beginnings -- but he makes a great point about the dietary restriction that never was imposed but probably should -- abstain from corn flakes. Look who originated them!!!

Yes, how easy it would be to impose sales restrictions at all of Nebraska's grocery stores and Supercenters -- simply no more corn flakes would be allowed on the shelves.

But why stop there? Bookstores and llibraries with no more copies of "Crisis of Conscience", et al.

Hospitals would no longer require permission forms for blood transfusions -- they simply wouldn't stock the red fluid in their coolers.

Meeting times could be coordinated statewide and those times would likely dictate the scheduled closing of golf courses, bowling alleys, theme parks, etc. But, hey, why allow them at all since they are such distractions.

Legalizing and legislating is so much fun. What else can we do?

Fats

AlmostAtheist

It would put an end to the odd "dry county" here and there!

"dry county" = county in a U.S. state where alcohol sales are prohibited, forcing the good citizens of said county to drive inordinate numbers of miles to the nearest "wet county"! (You think JW's pile up at Tim Horton's? You ought to see them at the first convenience store on the other side of the county line!)

Dave of the "made many a' beer run" class

What if Nebraska became JW?

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