My son asked P.O. wife what she was wearing for halloween today at Walmart!

by PaNiCAtTaCk 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • PaNiCAtTaCk
    PaNiCAtTaCk

    Im assuming this is finally it for me and my family.

    I havent been to a meeting in probably 2 and a half months but Im just considered weak by most I presume. I had decided to let my son go trick or treating for the first time this year, After all my wife and I decided to raise him as a normal kid.

    So last month when he came home from school and said to us "someone asked me at school what I as going to be for halloween and I told them Batman", I just said "oh really" and acted excited for him. Today I took him with me to Walmart while my wife was still at work and bought a bunch of candy just in case some children stopped by my home. I dodged one witness from the Hall without really being seen and then continued on.

    When I got far away from her I told my son that if we see some of our friends from the kingdom hall dont say anything to them about halloween because they dont like halloween. He told me ok.

    Well I then run into this guy that I witnessed to before and were visiting about his animals ect. and then I see the presiding overseers wife pushing her buggie up to mine. I could already feel the beads of sweat forming on my head. Once she got to my buggie she stopped and started visiting with my son while I was trying to end my conversation with this other guy. About the same time Im saying bye to the gentleman my son pops off "So what are you going to wear for halloween this year?" I could have passed out and died!!

    The sister immedietly said "Well Ill see you later and started pushing the buggy a hundred miles and hour away from us. I quickly blurted out her name and said "I need to tell you something!"

    To make a long story short I just told her with confidence that We dont believe its the truth anymore and that we are not claiming to be JW's any longer. I told her that at this time we are not looking to organized religion but only to Christ. She mentioned that Im an adult and that I have to make my own decisions but she knows that we are very close to the end and when the end comes I will be either on one side or the other.

    I simply told her that the wt beliefs are based on false chronology and that I couldnt in good conscience teach it to my son. She then said that It had been proven and that she had researched it. I then told her "no you havent!" you cant even research both sides of the issue. The difference between you and I is that I can read anything and consider both sides of every issue and you cant, and your not allowed to look outside a Watchtower

    . She then told me that she knows its the truth cuz she has felt Jehovah personally help her during bad times. I realized that I was upsetting her so I just told her that I would never want to destroy her faith or take that away from her. I ended our brief conversation by atelling her 'now that you know how we feel pass it on." She told me she would.

    So now I wonder what will happen? I wonder how quick they will contact me. My wife and I are trying to decide whether to send our dis letter or not. After some of the advice on here we had decided that fading would be better for us because we have lots of witness family that will shun us. Especially if we dis ourselves. But if they are going to disfellowship me anyway I would rather disassociate myself. I have disassociation letters written Ive just never mailed them yet. Right before I was giong to mail them the presiding overseer had a stroke so I left it alone. After all I really cared alot for this couple and had spent many hours with them in the ministry and at there house. I just feel kinda crapy because this wasnt the way all this was supposed to come out. She will view this situation as "Well Jehovah is cleaning house. Jehovah always makes things known!" Brother ********* Just couldnt live up to our high standards of conduct and would rather partake in Pagan celebrations! I felt kinda bad after I left. Not because of my stance but, just because I know that I let someone down that I really cared about.

    My son did love trick or treating and had a blast. We enjoyed going with him and watching him have so much fun. I will admit though that throughout the night I had waves of emotions hitting me. Mostly fear and Guilt of doing something terribly wrong. Years of indoctrination is hard to kill even with a mountain of books and support. Oh well good night!

  • caligirl
    caligirl

    Yikes! I think you are right, that will pretty much do it for you. I can definitely understand your mixed emotions though. You don't set out to hurt anyone by excercising your God-given free will, but with this kind of situation, it is almost impossible not to hurt or offend someone. So I'm glad you were able to enjoy the experience with your son.

    When they are excited about something, kids are totally into telling everyone they talk to. My oldest son is 9, and even though we have told him that it is better not to share with Grandma about his B-day and holidays many times, he still gets excited and tells them ALL about it when he talks to them around a holiday time. I just act like it never happened, and so do they- I used to cringe about it, but then I realized that I am comfortable about my decision and therefore cannot display any thing that could be likened to regretting that. But I also know that my quiet comfortable fade of 9+ years is pretty much over if he ever is around anyone but my parents and drops a holiday bomb (luckily, there is a slim chance of this happening given that we live 3000 miles from where I grew up).

  • horrible life
    horrible life

    Dear Panic,

    Don't worry one little bit about this dear sister. She was on her cell phone to her friends before she got out the Walmart door. The telephone lines were lit up!!!! Believe me, the elders were the last to know. If you are from a small town, everybody knew within an hour.

    "Out of the mouths of Babes" is the old saying. I guess its true. I'm sorry that it could not have been on your own terms. In a very short time, you will be able to look back and laugh at this. And give your son Hell when he is older. LOL HL

  • theinfamousone
    theinfamousone

    i disagree with horrible life, you wont be giving him hell, ull be thanking him... to be honest, now there is no going back!!! no chance, GOOD FOR YOU! oh and by the way, youll see, these people you really thought cared about you, at least most of them, wil not even talk to u anymore, they will cross the road when they see you... is that really someone who cared?

    the infamous one

  • thom
    thom

    At least now most of the people in the cong you went to will know why you're gone. Instead of hearing from the platform, "panicattack is no longer one of jehovah's witnesses" and assuming you did something "bad", they'll hear from this sister what you told her.
    At least you got a chance to communicate your thoughts to her and the tons of people she's going to tell. Not everyone gets that opportunity.

  • Mary
    Mary
    The sister immedietly said "Well Ill see you later and started pushing the buggy a hundred miles and hour away from us. I quickly blurted out her name and said "I need to tell you something!"

    I wouldn't have said anything. It's none of her damn business. Unfortunately, as Dubs, we're still trained to believe that it's the elders' business what we're doing with our lives. It's not. This is a free country and you're under NO obligation whatsoever to explain your religious beliefs to anyone. If they say they want to meet with you, just tell them you don't feel like it.

  • AuldSoul
    AuldSoul

    Mary, Loose Conduct is the "catch-all, if all else fails disfellowship for this" gross sin. The 1973 Watchtower Questions From Readers (posted by blondie here: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/101050/1742306/post.ashx#1742306) shows that the elders perception about your attitude is enough to disfellowship you. Basically, my dad (an elder for 42 years now) told me that anything elders give repeated counsel on that you refuse to apply can be considered "loose conduct," repeatedly rejecting appointments with the elders can be considered "loose conduct," almost anything can be considered "loose conduct." He says he uses it sparingly but that some elders don't.

    ACK! Ah, well. I am glad you stood up for yourself panickattack. That was excellent, and hearing you talk about that with your wife will be good for your son. Showing him his daddy has a spine can't be a bad thing.

    AuldSoul

  • luna2
    luna2
    I will admit though that throughout the night I had waves of emotions hitting me. Mostly fear and Guilt of doing something terribly wrong.

    Its interesting how this works, isn't it? The first time I did something "worldly" (meeting some online friends in NYC, going to a show, and sharing a hotel room), I had some awful feelings as I tossed and turned in bed that night. I felt adrift and very alone as I lay there. I wondered if Jehovah was going to punish me (I still believed it was the truth at the time and that I was misbehaving, so that made it harder). You do adjust, though. As you said, the years of JW conditioning take some time to wear off.

  • AuntieJane
    AuntieJane

    Out of the mouths of babes is right...! LoL! I love this story....maybe you can thank Jehovah for using your little son as the channel through which he let this come out in the open. Seriously...you could look at it that way, Thank you Lord for the innocence of children. Yay!

    Don't worry about them, you sound like you are doing just great.

    aj

  • Mary
    Mary
    AuldSoul said: repeatedly rejecting appointments with the elders can be considered "loose conduct," almost anything can be considered "loose conduct."

    Holy crap, are you serious??!! How the HELL do they rationalize that??!! Wait a minute, what am I saying?? There doesn't need to be any rationalization in this frigging religion...........she should've just mowed that sister down with her shopping cart instead..........sigh.......I often think "why couldn't I have been born in to a Protestant religion? Why did I have to be born into one of the most screwed up religions on the face of the earth???

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