Grandma Question

firefightersean

I am a lurker, I was DFd for getting my EX wife pregnant before we were married..long story but anyway. My mom is a dub and my non-believing grandma died and we are arrainging for a short graveside service as my gma didn't want to have anything elaborate.

I have already talked to my brothers and sisters, who are try to maintain a relationship with my mom, about not wanting any dub crap at the service...my family wrote back saying this:

"Mom is a JW..we know this accept it.. whatever.. she wont have a soap box at the dinner, however she probably will say things like grandma will be resarected or whatever, thats her hope,, fine whatever.. she will have to respect grandmas and our views likewise, she wont make a sermon out of the deal...Ill see to that. If you need me to talk directly specificly about something let me know"

i want to set limits on what happens because i know my gma wouldn't want to any religous junk, but am not sure what to say. i know i dont want any JW's there other then my mom.

this is the part of why the relgion is so freaking dangerous. i should be able to pick the phone an tell my my mom to chill out, but because i am "unclean" she wont listen to anything i say....

any thoughts...and i have read probably 1,000 posts before replying. :)

Legolas

Welcome to the board!

Your grandma's wishes should be respected!

So if she was not a JW then NO JW stuff should be said.

AlmostAtheist

Firstly, sorry about your grandmother. :-(

Was she your mom's mom? Or your dad's?

If her's, it's reasonable that she would want to talk about her hope a bit. Even if she was your dad's, they may have been close. Either way, she'd feel compelled to speak of her hope.

Does her hope conflict with yours? By that I mean do you simply not believe the JW doctrine, or do you find them offensive?

As an atheist, I don't believe any of it, nor do I find it offensive. So if she wanted to rattle off a little sermon, it wouldn't hurt a thing from my perspective. If you find it outright offensive though, that might make things different for you.

Sorry, not much help. :-(

Dave

kls

Welcome Firefighter , i don't understand why your mother would want to say anything about the jws if your grandma wasn't a jw but if you and your sibblings are in agreement to have your mom hold down on the jw sermons, then all you can really do is talk this over with your mom and just hope that she abids by all of you.

Lets see what other insights others have to offer.

firefightersean

she was my mom's mom, but my mom and dad are Divorced so he wont be there. he is a PO or CO now? i dont know never talk to him, because he doesn't talk to my sister or me.

being an EMT i am confident that there is life after death due to many things, but i know my GMA is watching down on me from above. We had a very close relatonship.

thanks for the help. i want to say no JW but my family wants to give because she still holds power over them.

kls

Firefighter , my son is a volunteer Firefighter and a First Responder and i just wanted to say Thank you for what you do to help others .

I hope you get the appreciation you deserve but i doubt itYou are special people.

bikerchic

Welcome to JWD firefightersean!

I'm probably taking the unpopular view here but a funeral isn't really for the dead but to offer support for those who have to pick up the pieces and keep living. In other words yes it is for the family and being a family with different views I'm sure you can at this time set aside your differences and all get along. These things last only an hour or so, most people are up to their best behavior for at least an hour?

Mom is a JW..we know this accept it.. whatever.. she wont have a soap box at the dinner, however she probably will say things like grandma will be resarected or whatever, thats her hope,, fine whatever.. she will have to respect grandmas and our views likewise, she wont make a sermon out of the deal...Ill see to that. If you need me to talk directly specificly about something let me know"
i want to set limits on what happens because i know my gma wouldn't want to any religous junk, but am not sure what to say. i know i dont want any JW's there other then my mom.

I'm not sure if I missed it or not but is the service a JW one? If it's not you probably won't have to worry about too many JW's showing up at a religious service regardless of your Mother needing their support or not, they just won't do it. Demons ya know.....

I wouldn't sweat over this, you can't control everything and some things have a way of working out for the best if you just let it happen.

BTW my sincere condolences for your loss.

Kate

Why Georgia

Welcome!

I completely understand your feelings.

My husbands grandmother died a few years ago. 2 of her children are witnesses and they turned the whole funeral into a Kingdumb Hall meeting. It was horrible and I know my husbands grandmother would have been spinning in her grave since she hated the Witnesses and everything they believed in being that she was Protestant.

The Witnesses came out in force even though most of them didn't know my husbands grandmother...in support for the 2 witness children. They even passed out their little tracts to make everyone feel better.

I feel that funerals are just another recruiting event for the Witnesses and I also wonder if they are counting their time spent there on the monthly time sheets!

I hope things out better for you than they did for our family.

Why Georgia

firefightersean

thanks KLS i love to help I think that is why i was a JW for so long, but then i realized that i was hurting now helping..ha...anyway

My mom is a big into drama and she always brings JW's to back her up. It will just be my family at the gravesite nothing with any religion really, so what i am worried is that she will bring dubs to the gravesite to "comfort" her. M

My plan now is to say she should refrain from saying anything about JW's at the grave site but she can say whatever she wants later at dinner. If she brings up dub stuff i will question her on UN scandal so forth.

In reality she probably wont come have dinner as I can't eat in the same house as her as I have the demons.

mouthy

I just went to a funeral --- of an unbeliever !!! I had many talks with her before she died -bright as a pin she was! But she told me! "I want it in the Church ( she was attending a United Church)although she confided in me she did not believe!!! But loved the fellowship- & they would pick her up & have her to their homes & had a "secret sister"who puts little gifts etc ,(as some churches do) But told her kids ---unbelievers - that she wanted them to say something about her!!! rotton or nice ( she hoped it would be nice) she also did not want any hymns sang just the organ playing broadway tunes like" Fiddler On The Roof" Annie! & many more which they did, Her kids got up & spoke VERY well of her... Made fun of her quirks!!!! ( One evening she said to me " HMM the management are angry someone left the windows open last night( we live in a seniors home) They were afraid someone would come in & rape us !!!! We should be so lucky!!!" she was 92 LOL--- she had a GREAT sense of humor!!!!! I have just learned she donated money to that church ( she was wealthy) for an organ. & a microwave oven !!!! I am beginning to think she was a "closet Christian"

Hope your funeral wont become a JW soap box

Grandma Question

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