Welcome to our happy little community! Now, I'm telling on you!! (Just kidding.)
You are so right. The JW teachings have turned its members into a collection of self-appointed private investigators, snoops and accusers. After all, weren't we told not only to avoid "bad associates" outside the organization, but also to watch out for "bad associates" on the inside? There was not enough emphasis on real love amongst each other, only lip service. So when there is a void of love, distrust and even hate can rush in. This happens too often.
Good for you, you're away from all that. Welcome to liberty. Please post again later, tell more about how you're "living life happily".... It would be great to hear.
GopherWhy shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Anyhoo...I never read any "apostate" lit when I decided on my own to leave. I think all you need to do is witness the actual actions of those professing to be true Christians to see what they really are. The "know them by their fruits" thing.
I say, slowly fade out and move away. I wouldn't bother disassociating yourselves unless you are compelled to make a statement or stand.
When I decided this was not the life I wanted to lead any longer I wanted to send in the letter. However, my younger convinced me that all I would really be doing was to cause my mother and other relatives pain that they didn't need. Besides, I do have a few friends that will not shun me as long as I am not DFd or DAd myself (yes... I see the irony)
Good luck to you. It is a hard decision that one should not take lightly. I wish you well in your new life. Just please make sure that you and your wife are leaving together because you both want too. It will be difficult for your marriage if you both leave only because the other is doing it.
Welcome to the board Pablo Your story sounds so familar. I to grew up in a family where they thougt that every detail of growing up had to be discussed with the elders and I also wasn't baptized but in those days they handled it different,P.R at age 15 D.A. at age 16 I got back in because of the shunning of my family itmopened my eyes as to how the organization operated so I never did get baptized and slowly faded away from it all when I left home. It took several years of therapy to get over that whole ordeal.
All I can say is follow your heart and don't let the guilt tactics get you down.
Pablo, glad to hear that you and your wife are getting a fresh start! Moving is a good idea - it will give you the distance with your parents so you can work out things on your own.
Good luck in your move and I hope all goes well. I am relatively new here and this is a great place to get information and support. I hope you won't hesitate to post should you need to 'talk'. There are some terrific people here.
I am SO happy for you and your wife! It is especially sweet when a married couple comes to the decision mutually..because the other alternative is usually very difficult to live with.
I wish you the best of luck in your move. A fresh start sounds wonderful, and you are both young enough to truly enjoy it and take full advantage!
Welcome also to the other newbies who posted here...Friendorfoe, Eyebrow and Gladiamout
think41self
"It is much more sensible to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, for if one is doomed to disappointment, why experience it in advance?" Amelia Peabody Emerson
My husband and I both left at the same time and I believe it has been so much easier for us both because of that, we have been able to talk through all the problems that faced us, we jumped over those hurdles together, we always had each other to lean on and go to for support.
I took the decision to disassociate myself as I am the type of person who likes to make a clean break of things, I do not like to leave things hanging, I felt that I needed to get my thoughts down on paper and let the elders, and some of my friends, know the exact reasons why I was so unhappy with being in the organisation. My husband was happy just to stop associating, he wanted to be accessible to those in the congregation who may want to ask him further questions... needless to say this never happens!
Anyway, a big welcome to you, I hope you find all the support and good wishes here that you deserve, I know that I have.
