Tips For Folks Who Can't Completely Fade From The "Truth"

by metatron 14 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  metatron

  Not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to fade away from the "truth". Lots of people

  are stuck, for various reasons, with the continuing pretense of still "being in the truth".

  There are, however, ways to make this annoyance more bearable. Such as:

  Claim depression or other chronic disease. Heck, anyone who attends meetings these

  days can probably claim depression credibly! Migraines work well, too.

  Learn to "tune out" and meditate during meetings. Using your own mantra or quiet chant

  can help - especially when the speaker is Brother Dolt pontificating on the submission

  of sisters or why going to college is bad.

  Bring other stuff to the meetings to read. Short reports or articles that aren't too obvious

  are good - although some congregations have kids openly doing their homework during

  meetings. Make up grocery and "to - do " lists.

  Many assemblies are broadcast on FM radio on site - carry a radio and tune to something

  else.

  If you have to take a sick/elderly person to the meetings, try sneaking out and coming back

  when the meetings over. This works well in inner city congregations with a handy bodega

  next door. Snack on Ring Dings and YooHoo and wander back in.

  Tell people you do a lot of "informal witnessing" and turn in field service at least once

  every six months so you won't fall on the inactive list and get a mandatory elder's visit

  just before the C.O. visits.

  If you need a blood transfusion, explain the situation to your doctor, that you are trapped in a

  heartless cult that breaks up families and keep everything hidden. They'll probably

  understand. Throw away your no blood card and say you lost it.

  Tell your relatives you really would have liked to go the assembly but you were sick or

  couldn't get off work or have fainting spells.

  A more risky strategy - but one with a certain perverse appeal: Be a complete jerk

  who never "crosses the line" and gets disfellowshipped. This idea was once suggested

  to me by a Bethel sister ( it's easier for sisters to do) who took the idea that, instead

  of her "putting up with Bethel, they would have to put up with her" ( !! ) Spread gossip,

  be tactless, offer bizarre meeting comments and chuckle while elders sigh. Tell me

  honestly that you don't know Witnesses already doing this! If you really have cohones,

  eat garlic, avoid deodorant, and drive a rusty car that leaks oil with no muffler out in service

  Hand out Smurf dolls to kids. Recommend Harry Potter books.

  Above all, have fun!

  metatron
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  offer bizarre meeting comments and chuckle while elders sigh.

  Raise your hand and say something like: "This paragraph calls to mind the time when I was 6 and blowing bubbles in the backyard with my brother, when we saw a cat kill a bird." As you get to the end of the sentence, start to speak more softly and look wistfully off into the distance.
• 

  greendawn

  The bottom line is that you have to fight the devil (WTS) by using his own tactics of subtle lying and manipulation to deceive and confound.
  
  These are good smart tactics.
• 

  yaddayadda

  I like shaking my head disapprovingly when the speaker utters some crap about 1914 or something like that. During the Watchtower I enjoy writing my own comments in the margin when I spot some crap, eg, big question marks or "WRONG!!!!" in big letters, hehe. It's a great work-out for sharpening the critical reasoning skills.
• 

  fullofdoubtnow

  I got out relatively quickly, and didn't cause the elders too many problems, but my pal dedpoet certainly did! He waged a 3 month campaign of mayhem before he left. He used tro sit at the back and put these wierd eyes on whenever the po or so were on the platform. He used to laugh loudly if anyone made a joke, turn in service reports with 0 hours on them and swap the tapes round on the sound desk so the wrong songs got played (he only admitted doing that to me recently). He put a false turd in the kh entrance once, and he made some pretty bizarre comments at meetings. His last school talk, at the last meeting he ever went to, was a deliberate attack on the body of elders, he didn't mention them but we all knew what he meant. He used to come to some meetings in a leather jacket and jeans, which didn't go down well either. He called it his "exit strategy", to give us something to remember him by. I think the elders were a bit relieved when he stopped coming, they certainly didn't seem to try very hard to get him back anyway.
• 

  YoTE

  Back when I was going to the "meetings" I passed the time by writing in my head. It didn't matter what, poetry, skit's, my first novel... (which was Jaws 2 btw) dates me, huh?

  This worked wonderfully on the Sunday and Thursday meetings... but the Tuesday book studies were pure hell, uncomfortable chairs, people waaayyyyy too close to me. Worse yet, we had to take turns reading paragraphs during the study... so when my turn was over, I'd sit anxiously and await my turn again...

  Re: FlyingHighNow's Post.... I applaud you, lol.
• 

  blondie

  We did all of those things as the initial aspect of our fading. Eventually a window of opportunity opened up for us after 2 years and we took it. A flurry of calls (use caller ID to screen), a couple of unannounced drop bys (don't answer the door), a couple of letters (into the shredder).

  Some times what holds faders back are family/financial ties. Identify what those are in your case and gradually, one by one, cut them quietly. You will also find out who your "real friends" are during this time. The people you thought mattered will start shunning/avoiding you although you are still a JW, not DA'd or DF'd.

  Make new friends through work, school, the neighborhood, volunteer groups, non-JW relatives, etc.

  Gradually, you will make a new life pattern for yourself and when your window opens up....

  Blondie
• 

  ocsrf

  . The people you thought mattered will start shunning/avoiding you although you are still a JW, not DA'd or DF'd. Make new friends through work, school, the neighborhood, volunteer groups, non-JW relatives, etc. Blondie, your first line is so true. I remember on person in the food store look the other way and I wasn't even fading at this point just not doing much. The problem for me is the two things I would like to join would probably get me in trouble with local cong., Coast Guard Aux. and some kind of martial arts. OC
• 

  rebel8

  Make up grocery and "to - do " lists.

  One thing I did was pretend to make extensive notes in shorthand. I knew shorthand from high school, but you can make up your own method. Instead of showing my total disdain for the speeches, I'd keep my facial expression blank and serene [a la Stepford Wives], all the while writing stuff like, "this is total b.s." in my notes. You get lots of brownie points for being an avid note taker too.

  For excuses, you can use my patented distraction and shock techniques.
• 

  willyloman

  What Blondie wrote (above) applies to us, too.

  Dubs are a religion that shoots its wounded so one way to put some distance between you and the congo is to act "wounded," as Metatron's post suggests.

  Whoever said "and I wasn't even fading yet, just not doing much" nailed it. As soon as one of the "sheep" starts to act a little skittish, the rest of the flock gets waaaay back for fear of being infected by whatever it is that's causing that sheep to act that way.

  I like the suggestion about family; in our case, we told them all we were taking a break from meetings and the organization to rethink our lives. There were, merficully, only four family members at stake, and everyone of them was extremely relieved we took that stand and joined us in our exit. It doesn't always work this way, but the point is you have to be honest with them if you can.

  If you can't and you try to "wing it" with family members, that's a path that's littered with heartache.