TRUST Poll...UBM'S I'm asking you

by jgnat 30 Replies latest social relationships

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  jgnat

  An anonymous contribution:

  Do I trust her? Yes in terms of telling the truth, using money and sexual fidelity - because she is a sincere dub whose conscience would not allow her to do those things. - Do I trust her in the sense of a real relationship trust of unconditional love and support? No. Her loyalty to the Borg is much stronger than to me, and our relationship has never been that good anyway. And of course she thinks I won't be around once Armageddon has come and gone
  
  Does she trust me ? No, she does not and cannot understand why i stopped serving the organisation. I guesss she knows my charecter , and knows that i am not up to anything, but deep down she is uncertain as if I am about to kick over the traces and behave in the way that the WT depicts "Worldy males".
  
  I guess that is the result of a lifetime of conditioning and some bad family experiences
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  jgnat

  Btw, another aspect of ubm life occurred to me to relate. Do others, beside me, wear a medical alert medallion that opens to say something like the following , in addition to the expected information
  
  " in the event of an accident my wife may feel unable to consent to a blood transfusion for me , because of her sincere religious beliefs. But I consent to the use of any blood based medication, as a last resort, if the doctors believe it to be necessary to sustain my life.
  
  The things you have to do !!!
  
  All the best, and congrats on your project...
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  twinflame

  " in the event of an accident my wife may feel unable to consent to a blood transfusion for me , because of her sincere religious beliefs. But I consent to the use of any blood based medication, as a last resort, if the doctors believe it to be necessary to sustain my life.

  This reminded me that I have been intending to ask my husband what he would do if i was unconscious and in need of blood. I thought about it a while back and it freaked me out!
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  carla

  Just get it tatood across your chest-DO NOT TRUST MY HUSAND WITH MY MEDICAL CARE
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  jgnat

  Seriously, talk to your partner about what they expect, and what they would do for you. In this area, there must be mutual respect for our wishes.

  Get a living will or personal directive drafted up. Many people think personal directives are for seniors, disabled or terminally ill people. But they can work for us, too! I want a medical bracelet that says, "Please do rescusitate! I love blood, use liberally." Give a copy to your doctor and a trusted advocate for your health decisions. I've looked around, and nearly all have a similar format. Here's a decent brochure published by our province.

  http://www.seniors.gov.ab.ca/services_resources/opg/persdir/publications/pdf/ISBN0778533158.pdf
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  carla

  If he decides to kill me off, I've decided I will come back and haunt the hell out of him!
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  jgnat

  I guess I am a more practical sort. I'd rather make his life a living hell here on earth. When he deserves it. I pack a better punch when I am in corporeal form.
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  Why Georgia

  A few have mentioned wondering how their JW mate would deal with things if they needed blood.

  I have sent a legal document to all the hospitals in my area saying that I will take blood and that my children will take blood. My husband knows that I make all the medical decisions for our children.

  This is not only because of his religion but because I have a medical background and understand these things better than him.

  I also sent a legal document to my parents stating what my wishes are for myself and my children in the event that I am no longer alive so they will have this to help protect my children if I cannot.

  I have explained repeatedly to my husband how traumas work and if a person has lost blood volume they don't have the time to wait for saline and other things to build up their blood volume again. The argument is basically lost on him because he has been spoonfed the JW beliefs since birth and this brainwashing overrides common sense.

  WG
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  tetrapod.sapien

  i have talked to her and my family about what i want in case i am unconscious, and a doctor says i need blood. they are to allow the doctors to give me as much as they see fit.

  i remember what a huge shock it was to my family. they were "so sad for me" BLEAH! but they agreed that that's what they would allow. i am going to put it in my living will too.

  TS
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  TheListener

  1. On a scale of one to ten, one being the lowest, how do you rate the importance of trust in your relationship? 10

  2. One to ten, intimacy? 10

  3. One to ten, honesty? 10

  4. Does your partner trust you? Why? Fully. Until I began to fade. Fear of the unknown is my best guess. I've spent several years of my fade rebuilding trust, actually just proving that WTS didn't make me a good person.

  5. Do you trust your partner? Why? Yes. She has shown me many many times that she is an honest trustworthy individual.

  6. What does it take for your trust to rebuild? Is it time? Certain actions of your partner? Time.

  7. For you, what is the ultimate trust-breaker? That is, if your partner betrayed you on this, you could not rebuild your trust? Falling in love with someone else. I could forgive a sexual encounter, as long as love wasn't involved. It may sound odd and be quite different from many others. I wouldn't like it if my spouse had sex with someone else, I'd hate it. But, I could, under the proper circumstances forgive it. Falling in love with someone means that another individual was meeting her most basic and intimate needs. I couldn't stomach that.

  8. Has your partner ever told you that you must adjust your attitude and forgive them? No.

  9. Has your partner ever diminished your feelings of betrayal, for example, saying it's not such a big deal? No.

  10. Anything else to add? (My favorite question) Fading sucks! Imagine how hard it is to value trust as super duper important and yet have to be sneaky about the truth. It is so unfomfortable not being completely open and honest with my spouse. She deserves to know exactly how I feel and exactly what I think. But, in order to keep my marriage healthy in the long run I must be sneaky. I resent the WTS creating the necessity for me to do this. I just want to be accepted for who and what I am.