Mom Makes Daughter Stand on Street Corner

by daystar 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  carla

  Don't jw's force their children to go door to door and sometimes do streetwork? is it really that different?
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  lisaBObeesa

  
  
  
  
  This story really hit a nerve with me.
  

  My husband, when he was a little boy, was forced to wear a sign that said, "I stole money from my little sister" and stand out on the street. His mother felt this was not embarrassing enough to 'teach him a lesson' and so made him walk up to neighbors homes, knock on the doors and tell them he was a thief.

  Rest assured, this is psychological abuse. Several councelors have verified this. And he still hurts from it at 41 years of age. These are scars that don't go away.

  And these abuses are usually not isolated events. Rather, they are part of the parent's patterns of behavior, that child faces many times.

  And let me ask you, what exactly did this girl learn?? Did she learn how important it is to get to class on time? Did she learn that being responsible is a good character trait that she wants to have?

  I think she learned some far more dangerous and negative lessons. Trust me, this mother hurt her daughter much more than she helped her.

  And how can her daughter ever feel safe telling her mother anything again? Her mother is not a safe person.

  What if the daughter gets bad grades again, say because of something out of her control? How could she face coming home to that type of treatment? What options does this leave the child? Run away? Lie? Engage in other poor behavior to deflect from the bad grades? Engage in drug use to numb out the pain or escape from mom's treatment? 'Check Out' in her mind and endure?

  Anyone can hurt children (physically or psychologically ) to gain control of them. But it sure doesn't TEACH them anything good.

  And as exJWs, how can a person say shunning is psychologically abusive, but this is not?
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  horrible life

  Edmond schools, as it says, are wonderful. I would love for my daughter to be able to go to their public schools. The child is throwing away a great education. I don't think what she did was that bad.

  I and my friend, often drive our girls home from school, and point out houses where their education would equate their purchase. Example, shack with no windows, 9th grade drop-out. Beautiful home College education. etc...

  Even going out with the wrong boys, I relate to homes. She was "going out at 14" with a boy from a really bad side of town. We went to just see where he lived, I have never been in that neighborhood before, and I live in a very small town. It was daylight, and I was scared.

  Then she told me that he smoked. (age 14), He told her what to do, like not read Harry Potter, and not to go to the movies with her dad and I. And would punch holes in the walls of his house, as did his older brother, when they got mad.

  Their house, if they continued to "go out", Nothing like a reality check.
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  Enigma One

  Well hopefully when the mother is old and infirm this daughter will repay her mother similarly. Perhaps put her wheelchair bound mother out on a street corner with a sign around her neck that say "I peed myself this morning and didn't save enough $ for my own retirement to take care of myself. Will work for Depends".
  
  What's next for this brainiac of a mother? When her daughter picks up smoking is she going to put cigarette butts out on her wrist?
  
  I remember why I don't watch the news or read crappy news magazines.
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  alreadygone

  As a mother of a teenager, I know how frustrating it can be to encourage your child to act appropriately. I am very active in my children's lives. I know all of their friends and I can't tell you how many parents just don't care. They just aren't present in their child's lives. I applaud this woman for taking the time to raise her daughter.

  I agree with Mrs. Jones, most kids these days could use to learn a little humility. As far as what did this teach the girl, maybe it taught her that there are consequences to ill behavior.

  By the way, isn't it the parent's responsibility to embarrass the sh*t out of their kids.
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  Carol

  SWALKER, I think what happened in your situation is like comparing oranges and onions! The mother should have been turned in to children's services for subjecting her child to such humiliation.

  As for the mother referred to in the threads title, I applaud her. I'm getting tired of the "time out", "we've got rights (even though we did nothing to earn them)" generation. I'm not advocating child abuse, believe me I was an abused child, but I am advocating discipline to fit the child and situation. We don't know how badly the child was mouthing back and acting in school, or what steps the parents had taken up to this point and let's face it.....once a child mis-behaves in school, if they don't straighten out in short order.....when they finally, if ever, straighten out their reputations will be reuined, because teachers talk and "warn" other teachers about "problems". So hooray for caring parents using whatever means they can (other than JW brainwashing) to assist their child along the road to becoming a loving, caring, healty, self-sufficient adult.
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  John Doe

  People live up (or down) to the expectations of those they admire. I don't see admiration in this case. Those of you who think public humiliation is good should read some Puritan writing sometime. Such a society is like the proverbial rotten candied apple.
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  Emma

  I don't think this humiliation is a good thing nor do I think it'll work long-term. You can hold out rewards for kids or take privilidges away from them but it's ultimately up to them. When I first read my reaction was this was emotional abuse.

  Emma
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  mrsjones5

  I am a parent of 4 kids (ages 11, 8, 5, 2). If my kids step out of line in a store I reserve the right to embarass them (this does not entail any form of hitting) and put them in their place (me parent you child). My children are human and have feelings but I will not stand for them to act out in public just because they think just because they might have an audience (people in the general vicinity) that I cant do anything to them, I will not stand for them to miss classes, not turn in homework or classwork and I really will not stand for my children to be disrespectful to thier teachers. We have had this discussion and I have reminded them even if I do nothing to them on the spot they are forwarned that they have to go home with me. We have also had the discussion about respecting their teachers and if I hear anything about them acting out they know to expect to be in trouble the moment they hit the door when they get home. When my children get older (in their teens) I will use other tactics - the most extreme will be that all of their stuff will be cleaned out of their room if the infraction is severe enough. It is so convenient to say that you would not use humiliation to discipline kids but are you willing to come raise mine? I dont think so.

  Another wrinkle is that my children are black and I dont want them to become another bad example (like so many others) for the black community.

  Josie
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  hamsterbait

  Public shaming is very effective in controlling behavior - WTS does it.

  The kid only has one chance to learn in school. Bad decisions at that age can ruin an entire life. She is not a mental defective so she can get over the short term pain. The good results last a life time.

  If you still think what the Mom did is horrible, let's say her daughter was hanging out with heroin addicts and doing drugs. I would do what she did to stop that!!

  HB