My best friend is a stone's throw from JW baptism. She told me she is not celebrating Christmas this year. (This is a gal who used to make it a point to "mend fences" with disgruntled friends and boy friends, in order to trade gifts!) Is she still in the honey-moon stage? She is going to about 3 different functions a week, but not going on Sun....yet. What do you think could be done to interrupt this process? I am VERY careful not to offend her or say negative things about the WT. She is in her late 30's, has been "studying" off and on for about 8 yrs., and is currently taking her 11 yr. old son to these meetings. She wears dresses to them and he has to wear suit-type garb, which is out of character. That is one of the ways I know she is really getting pulled in. Her Aunt passed away and I am going to the funeral this afternoon. I know she will be there, along with several family members. Not a real close knit family, so I don't have much to work with as far as support from them. (They are not JWs.) Is there anything I could maybe bring up that other groups do that might strike a cord with her and make her think, as she continues in this indoctrination process? Something that might make her think...".WHOA! Maybe I better back off and think this over for awhile." Since her husband started working nights, she is really falling in deeper, quickly! Help!
Can you help me with some one who is not baptised as JW yet? The story:
by Curious Christian 13 Replies latest jw friends
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jaffacake
Hi, and a Warm welcome,
I hope you succeed where I have failed with my lifelong best friend. I was a few months too late finding out about JWs.
I'll give this some serious thought. Just now, after a year of intensive research and trying everything to stop my friend making such a terrible mistake, I am now emotionally drained.
If you let me have an email address I'll send some ideas I have. What reading have you tried to help you with the sort of questions to ask?
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hubert
If you can get her to do some research on the Watchtower Society, particularly the "Faithful and Discreet slave", it might help. Try this book, on line at Lulu.com.... "Captives of a Concept" by Don Cameron. Also, try to get her to read "Crisis of Conscience", or books like
Have you seen my Mother", by Brian Mcglothlin. These might open her eyes, if it's not too late.Good luck....
Hubert
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jgnat
This woman is fairly shallow, right? She's already going to three meetings a week, dressing like a JW and abstaining from Christmas? I fear she may be too far gone.
DON'T OPPOSE THE CHRISTMAS THING. She's been warned that Satan and worldly people will put pressure on her to enjoy the holiday.
Almost seriously, could you interest her in smoking? They won't baptize her if she's a smoker.
Alert the husband as to what he's up against.
How about the shunning policy? She'll get the canned answer, that only people practicing gross sin are expelled from the congregation, and it is necessary to keep themselves "clean". The study leader may even throw in a pitch on how much "cleaner" they are than Christendom's churches. Then here's the clincher, if you can pull it off. Get your friend to ask her study leader how many people they personally know who are expelled and shunned? Any of them family members, close friends? When is the last time they've sat down and had a meal with that person?
This is almost a sure bet, since so many JW's are "disciplined" in the congregation.
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AussieMiss
(This is a gal who used to make it a point to "mend fences" with disgruntled friends and boy friends, in order to trade gifts!)
What do you mean by this statement?
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AussieMiss
(This is a gal who used to make it a point to "mend fences" with disgruntled friends and boy friends, in order to trade gifts!)
What do you mean by this statement?
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jaffacake
Getting to read books such as those suggested above is the best way to expose the organisation for what it really is.
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oppgirl63
I'm in a similar situation...but like Jaffacake I'm emotionally drained. I'm just suprised she is this close to baptism and still not going to Sunday meetings.
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Check_Your_Premises
Have you spoken to the husband? Is there any other family that might be concerned about all this?
Don't run up to him and say, "the jw are a cult!!!"
Ask him how he feels about it. He will likely say that he figures the wife and kids getting good Christian values are a good thing. "Aren't the JW's just trying to follow the Bible? Aren't they just very devout Christians?"
Then bring up some questions for him.
"What if you don't join? How do you think it will affect your relationship with your kids? Since they believe everything the JW say is the truth, how will they view you for not accepting it? Won't that mean you are either ignorant or immoral in their eyes?"
"Does it bother you that your kids will not be able to get a blood transfusion if they need one?"
"Are there things that the JW say that you aren't sure about? Are there things you don't agree with? If so, does it bother you that your children are being taught these things as if they are the absolute truth from God?"
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Check_Your_Premises
For dealing with your friend:
She is likely already gone, in the sense that she believes the JW are God's religion. Once a person crosses that line, it is only a matter of time. As a result, they can neither leave until they let go of that fantasy.
You have to understand that speaking with a cult member to open their mind is not a matter of presenting facts. If they don't want to accept those facts, then it won't matter a wit to them. Think of it as a process. There are a couple of books on the subject, they are the best thing going; Releasing the Bonds and Combatting Cult Mind Control. Both are "how to get a loved one out of a cult" manuals.
You are going to want to read both of those books before you even start trying to find out things about the JW to present to your friend. In the short term, just keep the communication open with her. Try to see if any family shares your concern. And ask her some questions about the org. How can she be sure they are the right one, when there are so many out there that claim they have the "truth"? You can always criticize other groups. NEVER criticize the JW.
CYP