Spell out what a Witness must do to be considered a "good" JW?

by JH 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • anewme
    anewme

    I have had enough of guilt trips to last for many lifetimes!!!!

    I have taken the opportunity to visit other churches since my dfing and I've been ABSOLUTELY AMAZED AT THE COMMENDATION, SUPPORT, LOVE, ACCOLADES AND COMPLEMENTS they throw at the congregation!
    The nurturing of hearts at some churches is HUGE!!!


    (Admittedly not all are like that, but you would never see me in one of those hell fire damnation churches)

    After a service at those churches you feel really good! I call my new mother in laws church THE CHURCH OF FEELING GOOD!
    They are all about slapping each other on the back for being so wonderful! Heck, psychologically it seems like a good idea to attend one of these kind of churches. Better than therapy!

    I have also gone back into the Kingdom Hall a few times. My mind wonders if I used my new "filter" and filtered out all the unnecessary manipulative and subtle guilt trips that are placed on the listeners by the anointed society (which wants the great crowd to do their preaching work assignment) maybe I too can have a wonderful nurturing experience out of it. Guess what? It works!!!

    I focus on what the Bible actually says. I day dream about the promises. I pray and promise to be a good
    person. I think of people I'd love to share the info with. I sing the last song and make my way out the door back to my own life and tell myself as I walk to the car "You are a swell person Anewme!"

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Your such a sweet positive person Anewme

  • anewme
    anewme

    Oh Thankyou Mrs. Jones! I need to hear that, I really do!
    So many of us do!!

    It makes me sooooo mad that so many beautiful people are NOT BEING PRAISED MORE AT THE KH!!!

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    Follow these rules and you will be the s*** in any congregation!


    Sister:


    1. Get yourself married to an elder or a servant (bonus points for marrying an ex-Bethelite! and if you marry a Bethelite, praise the Lord - you have reached the 9th level of the Organization and you are now untouchable). WARNING! If none of the above are available (most likely), do not date at all!
    2. Work part-time and pioneer, or at least try to aux. pioneer once in a while.
    3. Always have your Watchtower studied - preferably in 4 different colors of ink.
    4. Answer at least twice per meeting. Or at least have your hand up constantly.
    5. Never have anything derogatory to say about any elder's wives.
    6. When the CO comes, make sure to get out in service with his wife, preferably one of those spots that they can never fill in the afternoon.
    >
    Brother:
    1. Don't get married! Ever! (this conflicts with the above advice for sisters, but it's God's recomendation, so just roll with it).
    2. If you do get married, make sure she does not have a "sketchy" past (virginity is ideal).
    3. Do one of the following: Have 1 full-time job, or a part-time job and aux. pioneer with your wife.
    4. If you have the former (full-time job), you must go out in service at least 3 times per month. No less than 3 times, otherwise you are not considered "visible."
    5. You must "reach out." In other words, walk up to an elder an say "I want to be used." You are now on the servant/elder track and will be labeled an "up-and-comer."
    6. As an up-and-comer, you must do at least one "visible" job per meeting. For example, run a mike, do the stage mikes, stand behind the counter in the back, etc... (if none of these positions are available, stand next to the KH door and shake everyone's hands and smile big - being the "welcomer" earns you huge brownie points when you are "welcoming" the elders).
    7. Have your Watchtower studied at least 2 times per month - you get two freebie. Quick underlines are sufficient - anymore and you will seem "holier-than-thou" to the rest of the servant body.
    8. Any talks you give must be prepared no more than one week in advance. Your talks must not be overly prepared as you will seem too eager and inexperienced. (Bonus points for being a "short-notice" talk giver.)
    9. Hob-nob with the CO when he comes into town (Explanation of "hob-nobbery": Stand within 5 feet of the CO, put hands in pockets and laugh at his jokes [Bonus points for slipping the CO money]).
    10. Always, always, always SMILE.
    11. Oh yeah, buy one of those dvd box thingies that has a door on the front so your collection of movies is never seen buy anyone who might get offended at your copy of The Godfather, or Rocky.


    If you are a couple and you both adhere to the above rules, you will together reach the 9th level of the Organization, which oddly enough, is the most stressful level. The 9th level is not the level for those who want to reach bliss. As members of the 9th level, you will be admonished, counsiled, and advised more than anyone else in the congregation. But, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you are ALMOST doing enough.

  • Steve Lowry
  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    Obey every rule of the wtbs without question.

    Give them all your money

    Go to 5 meetings a week, every week

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