have i just blown it?

Dansk

Can you please elaborate? We're here to help!

Ian

have i done wrong? a month or so ago i posted here about my friend who has been a JW since birth, had a bad year and became my friend, i am not a JW, and now she has gone back to it 100%. she maintains our friendship and people on this site advised me it will be difficult for her and she may not be as close as before.

i am finding that i don't see much of her cos she's always off door knocking or bible studying, she is quite open about it, says she wants to be my friend etc. but i am no fool, she probably doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

now...yesterday i was walking down the street and 2 JW's stopped me and gave me a leaflet. instead of just taking it with me, i looked at it, said are you JW's? they said yes and i said oh well my friend is one, they wanted to know the name of my friend and i just responded by saying well i'm late for work but its ok i've got all your leaflets. was that rude?

thing is i recognized one and i think she knew who i was, not too sure, she maybe saw me 6 months ago with my friend. they both looked at me really weird. i'm worried that i'll get my friend in trouble for being my friend.

also, i am having doubts about all this, i generally behave myself when i'm around my friend not cursing etc, but i feel like i should be myself and see what she does with it.

help, i'm a bit confused.

blondie

apple, I looked back at your posts. I'm not sure, are you a male friend? If so, is there any romance in this relationship?

Do you know why she went back? Was it pressure from family or friends?

Specifically, why did she drift in the beginning? Has that changed?

Personally, I have 2 periods in my JW career where I left and went back (it's called being inactive). Each time I went back because I figured I could separate the unchristian things being done by individuals from the organization as a whole. I finally realized that the individuals were the organization.

Non-jws are pretty much demonized by the WTS. Except for the controlled contact in the door to door work, your employment or school, JWs are kept so busy that there is no time to give to non-JWs.

Just keep up the contact and be positive as possible.

Blondie

under74

It's not really that she may get in trouble...it's more that you're friendship may be. If she's a true believer that goes by what the elders tell her, she may have to cut you off....and this is regardless of the run-in you had.

It's not your fault.

katiekitten

I dont think you have blown it. Your friend can always say you meant it in the 'acquaintance' way, not the friendship way. Lets face it loads of people use that excuse to get rid of Witlesses on the door - 'oh ive got a friend thats a Witless and I can get all your magazines from them'.

What they really mean is they vaguely know someone who used to might have been a Witless, or they work with a Witless, or the neighbour of their Aunty is a Witless, or the pool guy has a cousin who once came round to help the pool guy out, whose a witless.

'Friend' is a pretty loose word - they shouldnt read too much into it, although they quite possibly will.

apple78

ah - but i've just remembered. i do have some leaflets, my friend does think i have a quiet interest (which i really do not), would that be justifiable for her?

blondie

Well, apple, I wouldn't pretend an interest to her. You want to be honest, right?

apple78

i do want to be honest. so if i tell her that i will not ever become a jw, she will cut me out right? i just don't want to lose her friendship. what would you do in my situation?

blondie

And if she does? Then her "friendship" with you was really over anyway. Just don't cut her off. Keep in touch.

Read a little more on this DB about people who are not JWs who are married to them. It is a challenge.

BTW, is this that kind of relationship; are you romantically drawn to her? If so, a mixed religious marriage where one is a JW is difficult. Becoming a JW is not like joining other religions. Read this board a little more and I think you will see that.

The only "friends" JWs can have are other JWs, everyone else is an "acquaintance."

Blondie

have i just blown it?

Share this