I tried to go to Walmart this morning.
This story's origin began last April, when, just days before my final exams, my Gateway laptop went nuts. As a third year law student, having taken her exams for the the entire duration on computer, the notion of changing my exam approach to bluebook was out of the question.
I was able to obtain, for the short term, another laptop and survived third year just fine.
However, it took three rounds of repairs to get my computer back in working order for more than three weeks (Gateway kept replacing the hard drive, but it was the motherboard that was failing-good news was that they only charged me for one disk drive, and not for the mother board eventually installed.)
And I am not the kind of person that feels comfortable with the "what ifs" so when about a few days ago, my Gateway laptop went to a screen that I only saw before each of the three prior "deaths," I decided that my peace of mind was worth many hundreds of dollars and decided to get a "backup" laptop, considering I have two more rounds of exams and the bar exam through which I need a reliable computer.
I tried to order the sub-500 Dell, but it wouldn't arrive in time for December's exams, so I started looking at the other offers out and about.
That meant I actually had to go to a brick and mortar establishment so I would have a computer in hand, rather than in some shipping queue.
I am not much of a consumer. I don't spend time researching the best deal, finding all the coupons and gimicks and working the system. I detest the notion of rebates, but play the game only when the particular product is one I was planning to buy anyway.
But I checked the print ads this week and discovered several large retailers were offering sub-500 laptops that would serve my needs for exam-taking just fine. Except all involved being a door-buster on Black Friday. I never go shopping on Thanksgiving weekend, and never intended to, but apparently, this was the only way I would be getting a new laptop before exams without spending over a grand.
I hate Walmart, I hate giving them money, but as I was driving home from Thanksgiving last night at midnight, there were already people in front of Circuit City (their ad said the store had 15 sub500 laptops). I next drove by the Walmart a few miles from my house and only security guards were wandering about.
So, I opted for Walmart because I heard there was supposed to 100 of their sub500 laptops, there was no one there at 12:30, and it was closest to my house. And besides, I hadn't had a truly new experience in a loooooooooooong time (thanks law school), so I figured I'd see things I'd never seen before. I came back to Walmart at about 3:30 a.m. and the queue was about 20 people deep. Rain was pouring. Walmart was to open at 5 a.m.
I visited with a few groups of consumers and took in the vibe of people there to get dvds for a few bucks cheaper, an acrylic sweater for 9.89, certain toys or video games, etc. But most people waiting were there for the laptop, or a flat screen TV. It was then I realized I would not be very dissappointed if I missed out on my coveted cheap laptop.
At 4:30 a.m. there were a few hundred people behind me in line, and Walmart does nothing to protect the early arrivals' queue position, like giving out vouchers for the limited stock items. This was when approximately ten people walked straight to the entrance from the parking lot, rather than go to the end of the line. (gangbangers and their girlfriends with infants in arms)
People started yelling and cursing, but there was nothing physical and the gangbangers never moved. Having never experienced anything like this before, I was far more intrigued by this morass of humanity (?) than the possibility of getting a laptop on which Walmart would make negative profit.
Then there was one woman ahead of me that started yelling at me to go to the back of the line. I stayed away from her, but watched her get nuttier and nuttier as 5 a.m. approached. She reminded me of the people I see at the court house for "drug court." She had that alcoholic/meth-fiend look to her. I sincerely hoped she would get what she came for (unless, of course, she got the last laptop and I was still just behind her-yes, it's true, I was thinking this, mainly because she was yelling at me for no reason).
At 4:55 the doors open and we flooded in. I got to the laptops quickly, but instead of 100, there were only 25. Here's where Walmart screwed up. They put all the laptops at a single register stand alone kiosk that could be approached from 360 degrees. The management then required that all laptops be purchased at this kiosk. So, instead of grabbing a box and walking away from the kiosk, the cashier handed out a box, then stopped to ring the sale, while the would-be customers closed in and blocked in the people who had purchased their computers.
Within seconds, there were about 100 people surrounding the kiosk, between 5-10 people deep. Walmart staff tried to get us to form a line (hehehe), with which I would have complied, but it was pointless. A very large, overweight man pushed me to the front of the kiosk after only a few of the laptops had been distributed.
That was when the alcoholic/meth fiend woman (who was behind me by now) went down...to the floor, in an apparent seizure. Only two people were between us, but I could not see what was happening as people crouched over her, shouting "call 911," shouting questions and answers, and trying to get a comprehensible response from the woman on the floor.
While this was going on, people were trying to climb over her to get to the laptops, they were yelling about being in the line, and I finally was able to see the woman on the floor. She was not having a seizure in the grand mal/epileptic sense, she was having a tantrum, screaming and thrashing. I was certainly concerned for her well-being (and that of the people on the floor with her trying to help her), but also completely entranced by everyone's behavior. Walmart staff had very little luck keeping the area around the woman clear of people, because few seemed to care about her. They tried to step over her (I was close enough to put my hand up to their chest to stop them, but Walmart staff wouldn't even do that, probably corporate policy), they tried to wiggle around the staff, they were yelling at the staff and still pushing.
The reason? Because the Walmart staff inside the cashier's kiosk was STILL HANDING OUT THE LAPTOPS! So the throng kept pushing inward onto the kiosk (and past the woman on the floor) and those customers with laptops had nowhere to go, they were surrounded 360 degrees. A woman who admittedly was ahead of me at one point started yelling at me when the fat man behind me pushed me forward again.
I was thoroughly fascinated by all these displays of accumulation-obsession. I was trying to absorb everything about the experience (because I certainly was never going to do THIS again), and was particularly intrigued with those people who were uncomfortable with the idea of trying to get a laptop while this woman on the floor was having an "episode." But they were in dilemma-do they do the right thing and move away to give the woman room, if in doing so it means someone else would push into their place AND get rewarded for their rudeness and complete lack of character with a laptop too? (They all opted for the laptops.) It was absolutely extraordinary.
As people in the outer ranks, realizing there were only a few computers left, abandoned their efforts, the area opened up enough for me to make an exit from the chaos. I considered observing the deployment of the paramedics into the swarm from a distance, but soon all the computers were gone and everyone had moved on to the $130 20" flat screen TV/DVD, and I figured the paramedics would be pretty pissed if we were all still hovering, so I got myself out of there and drove myself home.
I'm a changed person. Has shopping the day after Thanksgiving always been like this, or did I get the extra-special unabridged version?
(And do we have any doubt that Walmart will be sending alcoholic/meth-fiend gift cards and a laptop and that alcoholic meth-fiend will speaking with a plaintiff's attorney before the end of business Monday....?)
Shoshana