GAGS I HAVE PROUDLY PULLED ON JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES :)

by Nate Merit 171 Replies latest social humour

  • Nate Merit
    Nate Merit

    In 1984 (shudder!) my bud Mark Smith and I picketed the Kingdom Hall in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Our signs had a watchtower drawn on them and said 'THIS religion is a snare and a racket!" We marched back and forth for a solid hour, with Witness elders almost continuously coming out and pleading with us to go away because "you're creating a SCENE!" They even called the cops, who did finally arrive and informed the shocked Witnesses that what we were doing was perfectly legal. I stuck my tongue out at the mean ol' Elder!

    Same year, I sent a letter to the Ann Arbor Press, ostensibly from the same Kingdom Hall, announcing that the following Sunday a special Meeting would be held at the Hall (address given), and the guest speaker would be Rev. FW Franz, Pope of the Watchtower. The selected topics would include: Blood, the Source Of Demons; Demons Are Everywhere; Are YOU a Demon?; Armageddon, 1985! The blurb also said that "The laity will be alllowed to speak with and fawn over Father Franz at the conclusion of the meeting." The blurb was dutifully printed in the Ann Arbor press. Very early that Sunday morning, I phoned all the elders of that congregation and had them check out the blurb in the religion section of the paper. I had signed it as "Russel Rutherford."

    Again that same year, Mark and I decorated the Ann Arbor Kingdom Hall with Christmas decorations. The trees all had glitter and Xmas bulbs on them, a huge MERRY CHRISTMAS! sign was out front, and a door-sized pic of ol' Saint Nick was covering the entrance.

    We also uprooted a large wooden sign that read "DONATE BLOOD HERE!" from the the Red Cross Blood Donor center and replanted it, in the dead of night, right out front of the Ann Arbor Kingdom Hall, which was on a very busy street. We dug holes for the sign's wooden support beams and dumped quick-crete into the holes to make it even more of a chore to remove!

    Then, I phoned one of the Elders and claimed to be the pastor of a very well known Methodist Church in the area, and complained to the Elder that someone was decorating my church property with all sorts of Jehovah's Witness materials, and if Elder so-and-so didn't make it stop I would press charges againt the Witnesses. The Elder fell for it and he got into a hot and heavy screaming match with me. We eventually parted amicably, with my promise that I would call him back if any further trouble ensued. Well, of course I called the Elder back a few days later, again identifying myself as the pastor of the large Methodist Church. The Elder, however, had called the church and now knew I wasn't really the pastor, so he read me the riot act and I blew a police whistle in his ear!

    Mark and I ordered a rubber stamp set that simply had 666 in large bold numerals, and we stamped the number on our right hands and foreheads. The we dressed up reallly nice in our Sunday-go-to-meeting finest and attempted to enter the Ann Arbor Kingdom Hall. Our way was blocked by two huge "ministerial servants" ("bouncers") so we left, but not without blowing the cars horn for a couple of minutes in the parking lot and disrupting the meeting.

    Then I made a really nice stencil that said PARKING RESERVED FOR ELDERS, and used a spray can of black paint to spray it four times onto the back wall of the Hall, where the best parking spaces were!

    Finally, we made a VERY large paper sign that simply said JESUS IS LORD! and placed it prominently in the front of the Hall, which again is on a very busy street.

    Our fun stopped when a buddy of mine on the Ann Arbor police force told me the JayDubs were gonna press charges if we messed with them one more time. Plus, we found out from my cop pal the Kingdom Hall had been being patrolled every hour on the hour ever since we had picketed the place. We had simply been very lucky to have pulled our pranks between patrols.

    Nate
    "Not exactly as you thought"

  • young hearts, be free..
    young hearts, be free..

    A little bit funny Nate, but mostly sad that you were still so consumed with the JW's even after leaving..........all that time spent involved in anti-JW activity, you might've been better to just get on with life and move on pal.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Yep, I can't see it as a "Gag" either!

    Or maybe it's just that our sense of humour is different downunder, eh YHBF?

    all that time spent involved in anti-JW activity, you might've been better to just get on with life and move on pal.

    IMO it just shows that the WT still ruled!

    But "proudly" ? Good grief, man!

  • defd
    defd

    Nothing to be proud of there buddy. Actually it is rather childish and mean.

    D.

  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    I am in agreement here with young hearts and ozzie, I can't see the "gag" aspect either, but maybe you needed to do it at the time.

    When I left, I just wanted to move on, and leave the lie well behind me, and I think that most of us on here are similair

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    First of all I can't believe you came up with all those gags! Boys will be boys they say.

    Seondly I am guessing that now that is in your past?

    Finally

    Plus, we found out from my cop pal the Kingdom Hall had been being patrolled every hour on the hour ever since we had picketed the place. We had simply been very lucky to have pulled our pranks between patrols
    This bit made me LOL... Maybe Jehoba was watching out for you... Lucky indeed!!!!
  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    I have to admit it made me laugh, what an amazing imagination you have.

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    Nate, have you ever considered seeking professional help?

  • HappyDad
    HappyDad

    Oh well....................................

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    LMAO!!!!

    Shame!

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