YESTERDAY...

by under74 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  under74

  Or last night I hung out with an old friend. She's always been strange to me. We don't really believe in the same things but I always thought of her as a good person that was still fun to be around (in small doses) even if we had disagreements.

  I hadn't seen her in a year or so. She showed me her engagement ring....and I told her I was happy for her. Even if her boyfreind is 30 years older than her. Then she told me that she was expecting to have a kid by next year....and I asked her why she was in her hurry. Somehow (I was tired and don't remember exactly where it went crazy) the topic changed---see, she considers herself a good christian and brings it up all the time with me knowing that I don't believe...all I remember is asking her what she would do (for a job since her boyfriend's not loaded) after having a baby and she went off on this thing about her boyfriend not wanting her to work. I asked if she was being realistic and also that it didn't really matter what her husband to be wanted. AND then she said " women should obey their husbands."

  I was dumbfounded. She's still in her 20s and was never a JW or other religion like it but she still has that mindset. I didn't bring up what my mother went through--being left with 5 kids to raise and support after years of being a housewife. I was speechless...I just don't expect this kind of blind BS from young women. I don't know know how to approach this again with her.
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  Legolas

  She just might not 'want' to work so he might have said something to that effect...so she ran with it!
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  under74

  Could be...but hell, whou wouldn't want to stop working? The thing that bothers me is that I'm sure she actually believed what she said.
• 

  Finally-Free

  AND then she said " women should obey their husbands."

  Does she have any hot friends with a similar mindset?

  Edited to add: I would approve of her working - the bigger the paycheque the better!

  W
• 

  under74

  all her hot friends (I'm the only one that I know of) disagree wih her FF.
• 

  fairchild

  She might say that women should obey their husbands, just because it suits the situation here. A friend of mine "obeys" her husband when it is to her advantage to do so. but she will disobey her husband when they have different opinions and she wants to be the one who is right.

  To be honest, I think that many women obey their husbands when the husband says that the woman should not work. LOL, I don't blame them at all, I would do the same thing.

  But does your friend really have that mindset, or is she just using the thought of obeying her husband because the subject is "a woman should not work"??
• 

  under74

  But does your friend really have that mindset, or is she just using the thought of obeying her husband because the subject is "a woman should not work"??

  I actually think she has the mindset now. She's totally off the wall. She thinks she needs to be married and gave kids by a certain age and it doen't matter whom she's married to or whether they are ready for kids. She also thinks that that I'm not doing my "duty" as a woman by not having kids and not really caring.
• 

  luna2

  People sometimes get weird ideas stuck in their heads. I know that I had a sort of "schedule" for myself... married by a certain age, kids by a certain age...and I can't tell you why exactly. I look back and think that I needed a swift kick in the ass and a good talking to as my goals were all wrong. I sometimes think I read too many romance novels as a teenager.
• 

  anewme

  Here in my new town there is a group of Christians who are very old fashioned in their approach to living. They home school only. The women and girls wear long hair, long dresses or skirts only. They seem to all have 6 kids each. They dont wear bonnets. I dont know who they are. Just another high control sect is my guess.
  
  It appeals to alot of people. Rules make them feel secure. But it can backfire on them (as we all know)
  
  As far as obeying your husband goes.......I do know from experience that men like to be respected.
  
  Respecting your husband is a good thing. He is your friend looking out for your interests so his opinion is one you should seriously consider.
  
  When I tell my husband I respect him.....I may as well be handing him a $50 bill. He tucks it away in his heart and is appreciative of the recognition.
  
  But OBEY is reserved for when the martians come and he commands you to "Stay here behind this rock and I promise I'll come back for you!" (War of the Worlds) That's when you should obey!!!!
• 

  under74

  People sometimes get weird ideas stuck in their heads. I know that I had a sort of "schedule" for myself... married by a certain age, kids by a certain age...and I can't tell you why exactly. I look back and think that I needed a swift kick in the ass and a good talking to as my goals were all wrong. I sometimes think I read too many romance novels as a teenager.

  
  I think most people have had these type of schedules....but then they grow up and realize that it can't be forced and put on a timeline. I'm used to hearing people talk about timelines and all that crap....what I'm not used to is having a young person (college educated...non-JW) thinking they should be in service to another because of their gender.
  Do you think I should kick her ass? ....I will if needed.