Do jws thrive on crisis?

tall penguin

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. In my experience, jws don't know how to handle joy but they're very willing to get pumped up when there is a crisis. The whole religion centres around saving people from an impending destruction. It's very nature is crisis-based.
I think about how uncomfortable it was as a jw to discuss anything good happening in my life, feeling that that would reflect that I was somehow happy in this life and not looking forward to the "real life" in paradise. But it was so acceptable to talk about whatever my latest life crisis was because that reminded everyone how much we need "the new system" and how evil satan is.
And I think too about how my parents are interacting with me since I DA'd. They're quick to tell me to call them "if I need anything". In other words, if I'm in dire need, in crisis. Yet they don't want to be part of the happy, joyous moments in my life right now.
When I left my marriage and was disfellowshipped a few years back, my parents took me in. I was quite ill at the time, going through Post Traumatic Stress as a result of the jc. They cared for me and felt justified in doing so, telling the elders that I was ill and it was their responsibility to take care of me. I wondered if I hadn't been ill, if they'd have taken me in. What if I'd been perfectly well and happy, would they have taken me in?
So, when I visited my folks to tell them I was DAing, I said, "I hope you'll still love me because I refuse to get sick just to have your affection." My mother was in tears. She told me she loved me unconditionally. I have yet to see that fully in action. It still feels very much as it did..."Unless there's a crisis in your life that you need us to save you from, there's nothing really to say."
I think about how this crisis-oriented mind-set slowly kills you. When your body is constantly in that high-alert mode, just waiting for the next crisis to arise...not just waiting, but seeking it out, your fight/flight response is on all the time. Stress chemicals flood your body and overtax its defense systems. I think of the high levels of depression, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, cancer, heart ailments and other "stress-related" illness in the org. It's sad to me that, in the end, these people are doing it to themselves.
There is so little true joy in the life of a jw. I've known few jws that even know what to do with the emotion of joy. Being so used to crisis and stress, wt or self-imposed, they don't know where to put joy if it comes along. I still have trouble with this. It's as if there is no file in my brain for joy. It's taking some very conscious repatterning to allow myself to experience joy and feel good about that.
Anyhow, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this? Do jws thrive on crisis?
tall penguin

AuldSoul

OH BOY DO THEY EVER!!!

I agree 100% with your expressions. Crisis gives them temporary reason to "keep in expectation" of something that was supposed to have been all over in 1914.

AuldSoul

freedomlover

HEY TP -

I agree with this whole heartedly.... I have seen so many witnesses INVENT crisis just to do it. It's so stupid and it just taxes my brain. I have a lot of trouble being around people like that. I know we've talked about our similar moms, and my mom and stepdad are the same way...."if you NEED anything." I do think they want us kids to need something from them. That's the only way they can justify showing us love and attention, with us being apostate in their eyes. THat's the only valid reason the FDS/WT gives them to help us.......

FreedomLover

Ellie

Yes I think they definately do, they think thats its acceptable and good to talk about everything negative in the world (just look at the way they talk to householders at the door) and yet if something good happens in the world they prefer to sweep it under the carpet as it could be evidence that the system isnt all bad.

bull01lay

I think there's a bit of a drama queen in all of us.

Active dubs can take it to another level though ! I wonder if it 'affirms their faith' when something seen as a crisis gets resolved through heartfelt prayer, guidance from the WBTS and any 'godcidence' that they attribute to being because they are 'Gods chosen people" Could be one reason for all the melodrama !

Bull!

carla

The crisis in life and the world is their joy.

GoingGoingGone

I absolutely agree with you here, and I've had this opinion for years. The JWs must have crisis in their lives, or else Armageddon isn't close enough. Good news isn't part of the 'sign' of Matt. 24... so good news is ignored. The focus is on the terrible world conditions, the climate changes, the crime rate (oh.. and they ignore the reports that crime is actually decreasing in some cities!), etc., etc.

Human beings are not supposed to funcion in crisis-mode year after year after year. Personally, I think it's one of the reasons for the high rate of physical and mental illness among the JWs.

It's SOOOO good to be out!!

GGG

Finally-Free

I had similar experiences whenever something good happened in my life. No one wanted to hear about it, and if I said anything it was often used as yet another excuse to counsel me about something. But it wasn't much different when I had a crisis - no one wanted to hear about it either. I eventually learned that it was best to avoid speaking to any of them about anything. The last few years I was a JW my conversations with other JWs sounded much like this:

JW: Hi W! How are you?
ME: Fine.
JW: How's life treating you?
ME: Fine.
JW: How's work?
ME: Fine.
JW: How's service™?
ME: Fine.
JW: How's your mother?
ME: Fine.
JW: Your tie is very nice!!!
ME: Yes, it is.
JW: Talk to you later!!!
ME: Bye.

I'm sure many of them perceived me as unfriendly, but by this time I was no longer interested in having friends among them, and I acted accordingly. Maintaining conversations with JWs in this way also greatly reduced the amount of counsell I had to listen to.

W

Why Georgia

My MIL is the queen of crisis....she loves them although she would argue that she hates all of this drama....

Before we stopped having anything to do with her, the only time we saw her was if there was a problem. Either she needed our help because someone was in crisis...or we were having a problem and she suddenly wanted to be apart of our life to help us fix our problem...which would actually cause more problems because she is so stressful to be around!

WG

Carmel

I think you are very insightful in your reflections!

carmel

Do jws thrive on crisis?

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