Hi

Willow Tree

Hi, I am Willow Tree. I am 26 years old and from England.

I haven't been to a Kingdom Hall for 4 and a half years, I totally cut myself off from the JW's after their outright lack of love and concern for me while I was ill. All they cared about was getting me back to the hall, the fact I was sick made no odds to them. I realised then they were bad.

My experiences, while fortunately not as bad as many, has me thinking how there can be a perfect God. A God who allows suffering and disease, pain and death. A God who allows injustice. A God who allows the evil to prosper and the good to suffer at their hands. A God who lets innocent suffer while the evil buy their way out of trouble. I am yet to hear a convincing explanation why, and all the explanations come from apologetics. I want God himself to answer, until then all I have to go on is what I work out for myself, and what others say.

It amazes me how people attribute good to God yet when something bad happens its nothing to do with God. Even when their books contradict this. I will not give God credit for all the good that people do, as that credit rightfully belongs to the good people.

I have looked for God in other religions and all I found was more JW's, just with a different label and slightly different beliefs. However they all share the same sick agenda, of converting the world and killing all the non-believers so they can live in their "utopia".

I now believe that God is nowhere to be found in any earthly organisation. I want to beleive that the God portrayed in the "holy" books does not exist outside of them, only in the minds of the followers.

Maybe God does exist, maybe he doesn't. He knows I am searching for him yet he doesnt make himself known to me. Do I hate him for abandoning not only me, but the human race? No. I am extremely angry, many would say I have no right to be, but I am simply using what I have been given. I try to be always grateful for the good in my life.

I live in hope that one day this crazy existence will straighten itself out and people will learn to love.

serendipity

Hi Willow Tree,

The questions you mentioned have puzzled people for centuries. I think we each find answers that satisfy us and help us to cope with our reality. But, what is truth? Where would I discover it? Those are the questions I'm personally working through on my spiritual journey. Welcome to the forum!

Legolas

Welcome to the board!

Bryan

Welcome Willow Tree!

I've been out for about 10 years and have fully deprogramed (took about 5 years).

Look forward to hearing more!

Bryan

Have You Seen My Mother

mouthy

He knows I am searching for him yet he doesnt make himself known to me!!!

Welcome to the board of UNconditional LOVE!!!! I know how you feel! Been there done that!!! But I doubt you have got on your knees and INVITED him into your heart..Confessed your a sinner . Sounds weird YES!!! But I & many ,many others did it when they were feeling like you. We all agree it was the best thing we ever did.Nobody will know but YOU & HIM...( & if you would like to mention it someone else shows your not ashamed of letting others know your humble )- I believe every knee will bend to Jesus the Name above all others. Many on here will "roast" me for giving this advice... But I wanted to give anothers opinion... God be with you in your quest....Enjoy everyone on here they are truly a GREAT group even the unbelievers... I love em all.

JamesThomas

Welcome, Willow Tree.

Yes, the entire escapades of a God out there and all of us suffering and broken, makes no sense. Something feels grossly amiss with this tragic drama.

I too, for a long period of time felt an intense hatred towards a god separate that allowed such pain and suffering; yet, was haunted by a sweet sense that there was an answer, there was a deeper and more significant realization being missed. I saw that I had to stop doing what I was doing, or go insane. I had to stop giving attention and focus on the outward phenominal level of things, words and thoughts, and shift attention inward into the expanse of silent felt being and existence to see if there was more here than meets the eye. There is. The peace we seek, is our own true-being. It is that close.

I suggest reading Eckhart Tolle's book: The Power of Now. It won't give you new beliefs, but rather help you to see through all beliefs to what what is real and true within you.

Good luck.

j

Cellist

Hi Willow Tree.

I've been out for 14 years. I've now accepted the fact that I'll always have far more questions than answers.

Welcome to the board.

Cellist

LDH

I have looked for God in other religions and all I found was more JW's, just with a different label and slightly different beliefs. However they all share the same sick agenda, of converting the world and killing all the non-believers so they can live in their "utopia".

This is the crux of the matter. No matter how non-violent their intentions, in every religion at the end of their story, somehow everyone ends up a "true" believer.

Hogwash.

You might really enjoy this site. http://www.secularhumanism.org I hope you get a chance to explore. and Welcome to you.

riverofdeceit

Hello WillowTree

I'm new to here too. I like the thoughts you have there.

The way I see it is Gods need subjects but people dont need to be ruled. Sure, the gods will tell you the opposite, they need to justify their jobs. Some people need to know that there is something more so will never be pleased with what they have until they have convinced themselves that there will be something else afterwards. So basically, lots of people and books and such can give you answers to your questions. Sure, all of the answers will be different but in essence they are all the same: God knows, God has the power, God is right, you are wrong, you need God, yada yada yada.

you have a number of options. I choose to live my life the way I choose. I like making my own choices and mistakes and having my own successes and learning from them in my own way; taking credit for my mistakes and successes; showing appreciation for those I keep close to me; thanking them for their help and love and support.

GoingGoingGone

Hi WillowTree!

Welcome to the board! Enjoy!

GGG

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