The Grasshopper 'IN' The Shoe Box (page 3)

Crumpet

the story has resonance but i think if i learned to bitch properly i kite get out the box. as it is i keep making excuses for them as well as me.

Gretchen956, your on the mark. A young person approached me once and asked for some suggestions. This person was 21 at the time and I was forty. I told the person that when they reached the of 30-35 light bulbs would come on. When she reached that age, I asked her if the lights bulb have come on, unhesitatingly she said, YES!

We all have our boxes to jump out,'time' is a factor. This post is only to put these ideas in the open. I don't expect anyone to jump out of the box with a snap of the finger. Hopefully some can understand why I believe in time.

When we are conditioned like myself by my mother, I jumped out of the box when I was a teenager. The org. has conditioned its' adherents. This conditioning can apply to anything that holds us back

Nilfun, I asked this question to my wife this is what she had to say. "As long as you hold to your anger, resentment, etc you cannot heal, you cannot go forward, you stay in the box of your own making, example: you meet that someone that you harbor bad feelings for, that person has not a clue as to how you feel, he's happy and unconcerned. Solution: Forgive! Not for his sake (because he's totally unawares) but for yours, it is your spirt that needs peace."

Golf

nilfun

As long as you hold to your anger, resentment, etc you cannot heal, you cannot go forward, you stay in the box of your own making

For a long time I lived in a world where I was not allowed my feelings of anger, hurt, and yes, resentment. Even when those feelings were a perfectly normal response to a situation, I was forced to push them way, way down. Now I can experience those emotions and really feel them without having anyone say, "No, you can't".

example: you meet that someone that you harbor bad feelings for, that person has not a clue as to how you feel, he's happy and unconcerned.

Yeah, I know an old man who made his family's life a living hell, but has no guilt -- now in his nineties, he's outlived many of the people he abused. And yes, he's veeery carefree *sad laugh*

Forgive! Not for his sake (because he's totally unawares) but for yours, it is your spirt that needs peace.

What is forgiveness? Sometimes I feel the anger keeps me safe. Sorry if that doesn't make sense, but that is where I am right now.

Thanks for the food for thought.

Golf

Nilfun, that answer was from my wife's angle. As her husband of 43 years, I could ask myself a question, of those 43 years how many years have I been a husband?

Let me share this experience. My younger fleshly brother asked me to study with him many moons ago. I was in a disfellowshipped state at the time and since he didn't know anything about disfellowshipping, I obliged.

To make a long story short, his wife hated me for 14 years! She thought that I was the one that introduced him to the witnesses, NOPE! Can you imagine holding on to a grudge, hate and resentment for 14 years and then finally finding out the truth? You see, I didn't feel anything, so,who suffered? I can relate other stories of this nature but one will suffice.

I'm going to recommend two books for you to browse through. 'The Road Less Traveled' A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth by M. Scott Peck, M.D. and 'Emotional Intelligence' Why it can matter more than IQ by Daniel Goleman. Others on the forum may suggest other books.

Do not give up on yourself there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Golf

JamesThomas

How can one jump out of the shoe box?

Like an intoxicating straitjacket frantically woven by the mind, the characterizations of individual-self within which we are seemingly confined -- are all conceptual.

We "jump out of the box", by honestly and diligently watching the dynamics of the mind until it is clearly seen the what is seeing, what I really am, is already free. The box is only a dream. There is no box.

j

Now regarding the spoon, we are not so certain.

Golf

I loveeeeeee your hat JamesThomas. I guess those boxes under your Christmas tree are not considered boxes eh ?

Golf

Sheepish

I think this is a great analogy.( I may have to try it sometime to prove it to myself!) It reminds me of the one about how they chain baby elephants to a short chain, and when they get bigger they don't need the chain for them anymore, they still act as though they are chained. I think we all have programs running in us that started like that.

And, Golf I agree with your wife.Forgive!

How does one forgive? I think like one loves-by choice. First you decide to, you speak it aloud, then you act in line with your decision.You may still have hurt feelings, anger whatever, but those will fade. Especially if you have really made the decision and stick to it, and don't keep re-hashing your grievences over and over again in your brain. You let it be, you begin to feel at peace and the hold it had over you dissolves. I don't think it means you have to put yourself at that person's or (organization's!) mercy again, especially if they haven't changed. You just acknowlege who or what they are and steer clear if you can.

Question: if there's "no spoon" how does one eat cereal?

Golf

Sheepish thanks, your comments are appreciated.

How does eat without a spoon? Without it! When I'm in a rush, I pick-up my bowl and down it like I'm drinking water.

Ok, tell me the answer, pleasssseeeeeee.

Golf

The Grasshopper 'IN' The Shoe Box

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