Wow. Thanks very much for all the replies. I guess the slow fade tactic is a possibility since I'm fairly well along in it already (I grew a BEARD(!!!) two years ago, saw no service last month and no meetings attended in close to a month). I do, however, think that I really need to make a clean break of it, if only for the sake of my own mental health. This attenutated stress is getting close to overwhelming - a function of the behavioural conditioning, I guess. I got to cut it off.
I really wish there was some way to conclude a total separation without the possibility of a disfellowshipment, but that seems the more likely scenario, knowing these people. The thing of it is that I think I could sell the fam on a disassociation - they're actually pretty level-headed underneath the typical JW overlay; my parents are both educated people and I think there was always an expectation that I would be as well. It just led me down a different path, I guess. A disfellowship, though... ostracism is a very effective tool in any social circle. That would be terrible.
Thanks again for the support and advice, everybody. I want a clean break, but maybe you're right and the slow dropout would be better... we'll see. I'll stick around and let you guys know what's going on. Shit, I should have taken my sister's route and just not bothered with the whole baptism thing.
P.S. - Yeah, I'm a pretty big Dune fan - read the whole series back to back a couple of years ago. It really opened my mind and I've thought in a slightly different way ever since, I think. There's always somebody out there who recognizes the name eventually. :)