Were your parents hypocrits?

by Mysterious 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • Effervescent
    Effervescent

    I can't claim to be the perfect parent... and it's a hard job regardless, but I still harbor a lot of resentment towards my father and stepmother primarily based on their hypocrisy and using us to promote their own "godliness" to the congregation.

    My stepmothers hypocracy didn't really have anything to do with the religion, although it gave her more excuses to lash out at her stepchildren. She was, and continues to be a bitter, meanspirited and pathetic human being who works really hard to convince everyone outside her household otherwise. I can remember a conversation I overheard my Dad having with my Grandma about her. "She went through a lot of abuse in her childhood so she wants to make sure these kids don't have to go through the same thing." Make me vomit whydontcha.

    My Dad simply saw us children as a convenient tool to boost his ratings with the local Elders and get on the fast track to Elderhood. (Which he did) He never saw us as individuals, only little people to mold into ideal JWs to be a credit to him. The day he realized I would never come back to the congregation was the day he finally lost all intrest in me as his daughter.

    I can remember the talks he used to give. They were usually family oriented, all about how to raise the perfect family and properly discipline your children "with love". He loved giving this illustration about a spring, and how if you squeeze it tightly and then let it go suddenly it will leap far away from you, but if you slowly release it, it will stay on your finger. It was supposed to illustrate how to slowly give your children freedom, and not tightly control them until the day they leave the house. I still laugh about that one. This coming from the guy who forbid me to do anything but breathe....

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    My parents did everything by the book as far as I can remember. In fact they often seemed like robots, and that's probably alot of the reason now that I feel I never really knew who they REALLY were.

  • delilah
    delilah

    I can honestly say, my mom was a pretty good role model as far as being a great mother, she was a stay-at-home mom, much like June Cleaver. We always had the C.O. over for a meal when it was our turn, and the pioneers came every week for lunch, we went in service pretty much every weekend. BUT, my father was seldom home in time for meetings, and when he was, he always came up with excuses as to why he wasn't going, but WE had to! He did not go in the service very often at all, so mom reared us kids in the truth....Dad always seemed to coast by on mom's tailskirts....but if we got into any trouble, it was Dad who preached at us about this being the "truth" and what were we doing, throwing it away by getting into trouble?!We needed to be in service, at meetings, yadda, yadda, yadda.

    YUP, there was plenty of hypocrisy on dad's part....
  • These3Words
    These3Words

    My Mother was a drug addict and an drunk.She blamed here perscription abuse on me,because she had some small complications from my childbirth.My Dad would tell us all what to say before we went to the KH.She has the Flu or she has some other illness, not shes drugged out of her friggen mind! She had more problems than I can list, but when she died last year from drug induced heart failure the org gave her the full funeral that they would give any other brother or sister.My Dad told the org she died from heart failure, but left the drug induced part out.

    My Dad was very abusive. I didn't mind getting hit or yelled at, what really hurt was the fact that he never said he was sorry or made a mistake. he never said he loved me nor did he ever say he was proud of me.The first time he ever said he loved me and hes proud of me was last year after his wife died and he found out that he has prostate cancer.I have forgivin him recently and I will be present for his prostate surgery in January. He is still active in the org.

    Needless to say if it wasn't for my wifes positive attitude I would have never had kids!! I try to be the mirror image of my parents, I try to do everything opposite of what my parents did, to me and for me.

    I obviously wipped the JW's off the bottom of my feet alone time ago.If I did not I would most deffinetly be dead now!!

  • These3Words
    These3Words

    My Mother was a drug addict and an drunk.She blamed here perscription abuse on me,because she had some small complications from my childbirth.My Dad would tell us all what to say before we went to the KH.She has the Flu or she has some other illness, not shes drugged out of her friggen mind! She had more problems than I can list, but when she died last year from drug induced heart failure the org gave her the full funeral that they would give any other brother or sister.My Dad told the org she died from heart failure, but left the drug induced part out.

    My Dad was very abusive. I didn't mind getting hit or yelled at, what really hurt was the fact that he never said he was sorry or made a mistake. he never said he loved me nor did he ever say he was proud of me.The first time he ever said he loved me and hes proud of me was last year after his wife died and he found out that he has prostate cancer.I have forgivin him recently and I will be present for his prostate surgery in January. He is still active in the org.

    Needless to say if it wasn't for my wifes positive attitude I would have never had kids!! I try to be the mirror image of my parents, I try to do everything opposite of what my parents did, to me and for me.

    I obviously wipped the JW's off the bottom of my feet alone time ago.If I did not I would most deffinetly be dead now!!

  • Eyebrow2
    Eyebrow2


    Hmmm...no, not really, come to think of it..well besides my dad telling us not to smoke. He was a heavy smoker until 2 yeas before he died. He had to quit because of heart attacks. Besides that though, I don't either one really asked us to do anything they hadn't done, or weren't willing to do.

    Wow, I never thought about that...makes me respect them a little more.

    Edited to add: I know I can be a hypocrite sometimes. I think most people are to some degree..we are not perfect. In my case, I tell my kids to pick up their bedroom...but mine is usually a mess. I reason that it is because I have to do other stuff in the house too, but really, that is just a cop out. There is something I can work on. You know...that you for asking that question.

  • alamb
    alamb

    *gag warning*

    Hmmm...my dad would get he and I a hotel room for "out of town" talks. He would molest me Saturday night, then get up and give the Sunday talk at the congregation we were visiting and then go out for lunch to hob nob with the brotherhood.

    Years later, my mother said I had been "old enough" because I was over 12. She stated this in court, after testifying that I was an unfit parent due to being molested and leaving the JW's, therefore I obviously was suicidal and wanted to die at Armageddon. The judge had to dismiss himself because he said he was getting ill. I have it all on video.

    My parents still visit my daughters, with the congregations blessings.

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    (((((alamb)))))

    Mine is pretty harmless considering the above. My mom had a subscription to Cosmopolitian Magazine. I loved them...loved them. So much more information than any WT or Awake.

    Also, I remember not being allowed to watch different tv shows, like Dennis the Mennis or movies, like Saturday Night Fever The TV version not the movie version so we are talking minus the nasty bits, but they had no problem watching weekly shows like Married With Children. (again, love it, but it's not a JW show) and several others.

    lisa

  • delilah
    delilah
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Alamb)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))that's about as low, and hypocritical as it gets, sweetie....I'm so sorry .....

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit