My wife caught me and in bed!!!!!!

by evergreen 16 Replies latest jw experiences

  • evergreen
    evergreen

    New that would catch your attention.

    Yes its true folks , my wife caught me in bed reading notes that i had written down about Raymond Franzes book crises of conscience. She is a staunch follower of the borg and i have now been inactive for about 2 years.

    I wrote about 30 pages of notes from this book as the only place i could get my hands on one was from the library. I couldnt order one as i was so afraid of her finding out i was reading "apostate " material.

    She asked me what i was reading and said it was er just some notes i had written . What notes she persisted . I told her it was just some old notes i had written some years ago whilst in the truth. ( whoops white lie).

    Then she said with a suspicious look "show me", and i went into defensive mode saying its just some notes etc etc.

    Then she asked me why i was afraid to show her. So i had to tell her with a lot of tact that it was a book written by an ex governing body member who had been difellowshipped for eating a meal with a dissacociated person. " what " she said. " you cant get disfellowshipped for that". And i said well he did. She then went on to say how do you know its the truth he is speaking etc.

    So i said well there must be some truth in it when you consider he wrote this book in the early eighties and wrote about how the date 607bce couldnt be substantiated etc etc whence effecting the 1914 date etc and wrote fortelling how the society were going to make some changes in connection with 1914.

    I then told her that they did with the generation change in the 1995 or therabouts. " how could he have known that" i said.

    "So now u are an apostate she said. I told her that i belived in the bible and that i only read this book out of curiosity and no i am not an apostate i said . I am a person who belives in truth and if i see something wrong. Then i am only being honest with myself. I went on to tell her a few other things such as the changes with regards to the blood issue , organ transplants vacinations etc and how many people must have suffered and died because of these policies coming from the WT. This i found quite worrying when peoples lives are involved i said.

    She looked at me blankly and to be quite honest i felt sorry for her. She was brought up as a witness and it was like i was pulling the proverbial rug from under her. I said you are better just leaving things be, trying to reassure her that i wasnt going to cause trouble especially the fact that we have quite a lot of relatives in the WT org.

    She then said how could she leave things be when i have sown so much doubt in her mind about her faith that she had been practicing since a child. She then said she wanted to speak to an elder to find out if it were true about raymond franz being disfelloshipped in the way he was. I pleaded with her not to. Firstly it would cause a stink and we would be closely watched and secondly the elders wouldnt disclose information about those whoe have been disfellowshipped.

    So her i am and to be honest with you i feel a sense of relief that i finally have had the courage to tell her about what i have read about the society.I only hope she doesnt do anything daft like speaking to the elders or some other witness about what i told her .

    But now that i have told her this i know she will be a lot more inquisitive about what other things i know , so hopefully she will ask me soon.

    Anyway , thought i would share this experience with you all and if you have any advice as to what i should do from here, i'm all ears or ok eyes then

  • seattleniceguy
    seattleniceguy

    Hey evergreen,
    Sounds like it could be a good thing for your wife. Maybe she should read CoC for herself?
    SNG

  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    Welcome Evergreen,

    I am glad your wife listened to what you had to say. Unfortunately, when she goes to speak with the Elders they will just dismiss all of the little seeds of doubt you planted. This is what happened with my husband.

    I hope your wife is openminded enough to keep listening to you about your doubts and the information you have found out.

    But also, you should be prepared for trouble to come your way. The Elders won't give up on trying to have you and your wife see the truth their way.

    Be careful and make calculated moves. You should read posts from Check your premises, Jgnat, and others like me who are married to witnesses. Our wins & mistakes may help you keep your marriage.

    Chrystal

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Evergreen - I really enjoyed reading that. You must impress upon your wife the risk she will be taking if she goes to the elders and that it could likely result in you being disfellowshipped which will mean she'll have to go to family functions alone from now on.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    EG -

    I say good. The next move is obviously hers. Her stating that you had given her doubts is great. It means she has not completely dismissed what you said.

    Just a suggestion - move slowly on this and don't force it. When she brings it up again, tell her that the best way for her to see the honesty of what Raymond wrote would be for her to see it herself. Tell her where you read it and let it go. If her doubts are ripe she will go and look at it on her own. Rocks are eroded by soft steady rain.

    My bet is her curiousity will get the better of her, she will sneak into the library and look at it. Soon she will want you to order a copy for her to read in the privacy of your home.

    "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" someone famous once said.

    Jeff

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    Evergreen :

    Just a suggestion - move slowly on this and don't force it

    this is the best advice. I applaud you for being so brave and sharing this info. with your wife and welcome to the board.

    I recently left the org. and it was because of a VERY similar situation with my hubby. take it slow. If you wife is like I was, she will be curious enough to do her own looking. I found notes on the 607 thing that my hubby left out and I went and did my own research to prove him wrong, and yet I wound up finding out the truth! It sounds like your wife is very curious and has a brain. try to keep her from the elders. ask her if she can just give you and herself time to do some pondering on this before she speaks to the elders. let her take the next step. your job now is to just love her and spoil her. it will help things run much more smoothly if she sees how much you truly care about her.....

    Best of Luck! Keep us up to date.....freedomlover

  • hamsterbait
    hamsterbait

    How can she claim to be a truly obedient wife in theocratic submission when she treats you likea naughty little boy and interrogates you on things you do not wish to discuss. Remember the item in the magazines about Henry the 8th's last wife?

    Put your foot down, man! Show her who is boss in your castle. As for going to the elders, deny her permission.

    HB

  • evergreen
    evergreen

    Thanks for all your advice everyone. Seattleguy touched on a good point and that is to let her read COC for herself. She did actually mention that she did want to read the book for herself but i am not going to shove it in her face. I am sure that her curiosity will get the better of her and she now knows where to get her hands on this book . So hopefully soon she will investigate. But as some have mentioned i am just going to take a softly softly approach and see what happens.

    Hey hamsterbait youre a hard guy lol, even though you look soft and cuddly on the outside , perhaps i do need to show her who is boss lol , but for the time being i really need to treat this with a lot of sensitivity as she must be feeling quite vunerable right now. It will probably take a while for her to get over the shock of what i have told her so far and then she will come round more and more on the subject. I just only hope she doesnt go to the elders about it, because she is quite friendly with a number of them and it would truly set the cat amongst the pigeons.

    But thank you all for your small pieces of advice and i will keep you updated on what is happening.

  • Confession
    Confession
    She then said she wanted to speak to an elder to find out if it were true about raymond franz being disfelloshipped in the way he was. I pleaded with her not to. Firstly it would cause a stink and we would be closely watched and secondly the elders wouldnt disclose information about those whoe have been disfellowshipped.

    Evergreen, none of the elders will know anything about the Raymond Franz details--except what they've been told. The organization of course brands him as a Wicked Slave. They will respond accordingly. Going to them will only cause trouble for both of you.

    I hope your wife does read CoC. I hope she makes it over that crest into giving herself permission to think for herself.

  • daniel-p
    daniel-p

    On the other hand - if she DOES go to the elders it may turn out to be a good thing, as she sees their reaction. After all, elders have a knack for stumbling people.

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