It's long, so take a deep breath!
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Ok, this is for those of you who wanted my life experience as a JW, so here goes.
I was born to a beautiful woman/mother who was abandoned by my biological father. My mother was raised as a JW and left in her teen years and turned to the Baptist church as an adult. When I was 3, she had serious operation followed by a nervous breakdown and had me stay with some JW friends of hers and the family. This family was on the outside very "strong" spiritually and the wife was a pioneer. The real truth was the husband was a drunk and took his aggressions out on the family. I remember also going out in field service and their van being so littered with beer cans that they feel onto the ground when we stepped out. At 3 (this is very personal, but I will go ahead and share) I was molested by their son. I have no idea how old he was, but he was older. I was very upset and for years thought it was my fault. I don't know if anything was done or not to him, but I remember his mom beat him really bad with a belt. She ended up getting a boyfriend (an affair) with this really creepy guy who always told me he was going to burn me with his cigarette or he was going to make my butt bleed. I was a very shy reserved kid and was not into a lot of trouble, this guy was one nasty fellow. Anyhow, one day a HRS worker came and got me and whisked me away to a Foster Home. I spent my last Christmas eve with perfect strangers, since I went to a foster home a few days before Christmas. They were and older (60's ?) loving couple and got me presents galore. Christmas day my grandparents came and got me (don't worry, they let me have the presents.)
Soon, my mother was out of the hospital, but she still had severe problems with depression and a month before my 5th birthday she shot herself. We were living with my devout JW grandparents at the time and I remember coming home with grandma and seeing a stretcher in the yard with a white sheet covering a dead body. The worst moment of my whole life. I was little, but I was not stupid.
Anyhow, to make a long story, I was raised by my grandparents, who I will refer to here on out at mom and dad. Dad is an elder and mom is very faithful and spiritually strong. I was an example to many young people and had the privilege of being used on several assemblies and conventions as well as auxiliary pioneering.
At 14 my parents thought it was best to take me out of school and put me in home schooling so I would not "be influenced by the world." I didn't mind, but I did miss my friends I made there. I graduated at 16 and stayed outta trouble.
At 19 I got engaged but a month before the big day, he broke up with me because I "was not beautiful enough, he wanted someone like Kathy Ireland." I stayed at friends houses for a while because I was so devastated. While staying at a friends house the weekend I was really supposed to be married, some of her worldly guy friends came over. I got slipped a roofie and, well, you can guess what happened.
Then I loaned my car to a friend to take my other friend out on a date and then next morning on my way to work I was pulled over for speeding. I couldn't find my registration, so the officer tried to help. He found a joint and I was arrested. I demanded a drug test and ratted the kid out and the charges were then dropped. Although, to this day many don't believe it wasn't me, even though THE CHARGES WERE DROPPED, and this includes my parents.
At this point, I was beyond devastated and went into a pretty bad depression. I moved out and into an apartment with a sister who was a bad girl of sorts. I ended up smoking weed a lot and the depression got worse. I finally tried to commit suicide from depression and guilt of living a double life of weed and alcohol and smoking. My father was worried and ended up breaking into my apartment, I AM NOT KIDDING, and found the weed and pipes etc.. and took them to the other elders. I was put on reproof at this point and I stopped smoking and so on.
I was still very depressed and needed to restart my life. A very spiritual active JW friend of mine in a city about 3 hours away asked me to come and live with her family, so I did. I fell for a guy, but little did I know she liked him too so this "sweet" girl got pretty nasty, so I stayed at an old friends house because I had no place to go. Her mother was disfellowshipped and she was inactive. Anyhow, I got pregnant by this fellow, which was just my luck seeing on how I had only been with him a few times and thought I was "protected." He recalled pressed me to have an abortion, but I wouldn't do it and he made his thoughts clear.
So, I moved back in with my grandparents and I told mom and dad I was pregnant and met with the elders. I was disfellowshipped for not being repentant. Looking back, I was so sick about my actions and did not give a hoot about being caught, because I chose to be "caught." Over a year later I was reinstated, but never treated well after that. The congregation was disgusted with me, they could not understand how this wonderful little JW child turned so wicked. But I wasn't wicked.
I came back but have been inactive ever since. I married a worldly man 6 months after we met so I wouldn't get in trouble, which was a bad mistake. I care deeply about my husband, but I pushed us to make a leap neither of us was ready for because I didn't want to disappoint anyone again.
Then, all the little doubts I pushed aside started to surface. I started reading the bible a LOT and realized some major inconstancies. Then, I read the last chapter of the book of Revelation. Jesus was saying he was the Alpha and the Omega, so I was floored. I got online and researched and in a few weeks time, I realized the truth was not the truth after all.
Now I am here, and that's my story. Not much left to say I guess except "keep the faith."