by Thegoodgirl 40 Replies latest jw friends
Oh, Desbah! Santa claus is fake? That is so something my mother would say.
Kaylen, wine is always a great last minute gift. I was actually baking cranberry orange walnut bread this morning, my one and only real Christmas tradition. Second year now. We are going to put it in a basket with some wine and deliver it to the other two households in the building.
Yes, someone please do a quick and simple rule-list of Christmas for dummies.
I just can't see spending two months salary on gifts. Umm, wait a minute...
I felt very strange my first Christmas. Didn't give any gifts. Worked on smiling back when someone said Merry Christmas. My husband just had a small really cute stuffed dog sitting on the end of the bed for me-no packages or tree. As time went by I got more comfortable, and now I love saying Merry Christmas, or Happy Hannuka, or even Kwaanza if I had the chance. You're wishing them happiness, nothing wrong with that!
We have always given what we call "tokens" of our affection at Christmas. I love to shop, so I don't mind looking all year, for unique personal gifts that are not expensive. I always buy my paper and bows after Christmas for the next year-cheaper and then I am ready when the time comes with no panic.
Holiday music, unstressed time with those you love, & some treats are a beginning. When you get in the swing of things in years to come, you can invite others to join you. I send cards (which I buy the year before of course) putting a personal note in them telling friends what they have meant to me during the past year, is really meaningful.these can be done waay ahead of time. I bake (or buy) several kinds of yummy cookies or treats and make up small (like dessert plate size) plates for friends that I know I will see, or who come to visit. Above all Keep it simple, what you can afford, and darn it what you really want to do. There are no Christmas police to come tell you you're doing it wrong.(Not yet anyway!) And everyone who has celebrated Christmas all their lives will understand when you tell them you are keeping in simple this year. Usually they say "wish I could", or "you're smart" cause they have over extended themselves. Personally, I try to keep the "Christ" in "Christmas", but also and because of that, we should remember to keep the "Merry" in "Merry Christmas!" (Gads that sounded corny!)
i can totally empathise - just do what feels right. Most friends unless specially close - i wouldnt say you need to get them a present. if you have apressie for a special friend give it to her privately when she leaves or away from the others - she'll appreciate your thought and they wont feel left out.
I dont say merry christmas to anyone because well i dont mean it. as for cards - they cost so little isend one to all work colleagues thanking them fo rtheir help over the last year and to all friends and non jw relatives.
inlaws - well they have become surrogate parents and have been immensely kind to me over the last year so I have gone all out and bought them loads. as for my partner i got him one big prezzy - golf clubs and lots of smaller ones.
hope that helps and well done with the decorating!
This is my first Christmas, too! My workmates are really excited for me.
I got a set of neutral "seasonal" cards for people at work and only gave them to those I really wanted to; I wrote a short personal message to each of them, mentioning their family, pets, whatever. I only bought 2 gifts - since there were only two people I really wanted to give something more to - and made myself stay within a $15 limit for each. I get to work early, so I could put the cards and gifts on everyone's desks before a bunch of people were there and avoid offending those who didn't get anything. I don't feel obliged to go tit-for-tat with the cards.
Have fun!
This is probably my sixth or seventh Christmas so far. I've been away from the borg for much longer but only started celebrating Christmas after getting involved with my then girlfriend now wife. It's still a very awkward time for me. We used to buy gifts for all immediate family, parents, siblings, grand parents, great grand parents and a select few aunts and uncles. We decided to tell everyone not to buy for us because we’re not buying for them. It’s very easy to run yourself into debt this time of year and we didn’t want any part of that. So now we just buy for our kids.
But, yeah, I’m defiantly Christmas retarded. I still won’t say merry Christmas to someone even after they say it to me first. I always sheepishly reply “you too”.
OK guys, take a deep breath and let it out slowly...
Feeling better?? Just relax, this is the season for joy and happiness, there's really no need to get all stressed out about it!! It's about family, friends, good times and good food, not for getting too freaked out about the whole thing.
Gift-giving is really a snap, even if you're not used to the whole "Christmas gifts" thing. You shouldn't feel obligated to buy gifts for absolutely everyone, just pick up things for the people who are closest to you if that's what you'd prefer. It's not about making sure you have a gift for everyone so that you don't offend everyone - my JW boyfriend seems to think that the only reason people give gifts at Christmas is to prove that they don't hate each other - it's about giving from the heart, and trust me, if you forget or overlook someone when you're shopping, it's OK, they're not going to be angry or offended. You might feel bad about it, but nobody's going to call you on it, Christmas isn't a competition or anything to find out who can give the most or the best gifts, it's about giving from the heart.
I don't know about everyone else here, but I'd much rather give gifts than receive them, so I never give a gift expecting to get something back. Heh, even my dad complained this year that I didn't ask for enough things for Christmas, but he doesn't quite get the whole "I don't need a million presents for Christmas" concept, he tries to spoil me and that's not quite what I want. Remember, it is much more blessed to give than to receive. I don't know about everyone else here, but the greatest thrill I get at Christmas is finding the perfect gift for someone and seeing the look on their face when I give it to them, it just makes my whole Christmas!! Nothing makes me happier than giving someone a gift, so I absolutely love giving lots of gifts at Christmas, even if I am a poor university student, and I never expect anything from anyone. That's not what Christmas is about, it's about giving and sharing and happiness and joy and peace, not whoever gets the most presents.
Charities are a lot of fun during the Christmas holidays, too - some charities accept cash donations, but many of them ask for gift donations, someone else here mentioned that, so you can go out and pick up a gift for a child in need and donate it to make someone else's Christmas that much brighter. It really makes your Christmas brighter, too, because you know that you helped someone who wouldn't have much of a Christmas otherwise.
Just try not to get too caught up in the "rules" and technicalities of the season, enjoy it for what it is. Remember, Christmas is what you make it. And if you're still having trouble and you don't know what to do, there are lots of people out there who have celebrated Christmas their entire lives and will be more than happy to share their Christmas tricks with you. Us life-long Christmas celebrators love to share the holidays with everyone, we'd love to help!!
Merry Christmas, everyone!!
-Becka :)
I am celebrating my first Christmas in 11 years and I am focusing on the joy of it rather than gifts. I am trying to think more about Jesus birth and less about spending money. Fact is I have none. This is the poorest we have ever been but also it seems the happiest. My kids and hubby understand that this year it will be really simple. Other people I tried to give stuff that I make like my homemade hot cocoa mix. It is not the expense of a gift but the thought behind it.
As for who should exchange gifts or who should we buy for I think that is a personal decision. It also should be prearranged so nobody feels stupid or left out.
Well, I should add that I’m not entirely Christmas retarded because my wife has made about 15 batches of 10 different types of cookies and I’ve had no problem that that.
Interesting topic. Since I was never a JW I have a different perspective. Do you know that most people would have no idea the stress that JWs live with? I have such empathy for JW kids especially. And for you exJW's...people just have no clue what it must be like. The (ex) JW that my daughter dated gave her a Christmas present...she was so impressed, he used comic pages paper to wrap it in. I bet he was not able to cross that line in his mind into the Christmas paper thing...this gave him a way out of having to use paper with Santas or Greetings all over it.
Also on holidays, he gave her something the day before, like Valentine's..her birthday, etc. She finally understood when I explained the twisted teachings he grew up with.
The sad thing always, to me, was that he got pulled into JWs when he was in Kindergarten...Not that I am a big Santa fan...but can you imagine, a little kid who did grow up waiting for Santa, birthdays, etc...to be suddenly told they are bad and that is the end of that? Talk about child abuse~
and remember...only FIVE more DAYS til ...HOLIDAY~!
