I never told on anyone, but someone told on me for talking to a da'd brother, but I forgive them because they did me a favour. The elders over - reaction to this "news" was what got me started on my journey out of the org. I don't know who told on me, but if I did I'd send them a thankyou gift.
JW's 'tattling' on each other - an ugly culture.
by Gregor 34 Replies latest jw friends
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atypical
In one case I knew of, the elders told the tattler that they should have confronted the person about it first. But they still went ahead and df'd the "sinner".
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DannyHaszard
Their Jehovah's Witness 'ratting out' goes beyond being informants it was outrageous backstabbing done to me,just take your most sleazy soap opera and add to it. I was once taken into the back room and falsely accused of "coming on" to the slut of the congregation.I was pissed and have made sure that Kingdom Hall is now the most denounced kingdum hell on the internet I tell all at my personal blog.
----- All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men/women to do nothing-Danny Haszard Bangor Maine -
Honesty
I received a phone call one morning about 3 months before I DA'd out of the Watchtower Lie. It was an elder who wanted to know why 2 members of the congregation had seen me hugging a woman who is not my wife (we were divorced) at Mickey D's a few days earlier. He said the elders are not policemen but they have to keep the congregation clean. They backed off when I told them it was one of my psychotherapists who was helping me with my cognitive dissonance which was brought on because I was involved in a high control group that constantly exploited its members (I just repeated what I had read about cognitive dissonance and some of its causes). I wasn't 100% sure until that day that the cult of Jehovah's Witnesses is based on doctrines and rules made up by a bunch of wannabe overlords.
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mrsjones5
yep my family has been ratted on a couple of times. I would have thought better of it (maybe) if the person who did the ratting out had had the balls to come to us first.
Talk about adults acting like children in grade school
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PoppyR
The rule of going to the person first is often overlooked, this happened to me a couple of months ago, 'someone' said they saw me drunk (on this occasion it actually wasn't true!!) and went to the elders, the elders asked this person to come to me, but they wouldn't... so they ignored the rule and just came to me (as a pair) to discuss it.. well actually, first they discussed it with my husband. The whole thing made me furious. This person, went to one elder, who went to another, they were obliged to tell the P.O and then my husband.. lastly, and months later, they came to me. Totally ignoring the scriptural way of doing things. Fortuanately it worked in my favour! cos I wasn't at the meeting where the elder approached my hubbie, he then spoke to me so gave me advance warning and I was able to look over my diary and realise what had happened (I was actually helping a very sick friend home from work and she was feeling so ill, I was having to hold her up, which made me appear as if I was staggering!!!!)
I was so mad I let rip. this supposed beloved brother or sister of mine did not even stop to make sure I was ok? Just went home and phoned the elders straight away.
But I suppose it was one of the last straws so I can be grateful!
Poppy xx
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Purza
The elders didn't give a shit about matthew, and raked him over the coals.
This is so true. Once they find out someone "sinned" all the "procedures" go out the window. Remember - they must keep the cong. clean.
Purza
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BluesBrother
Yes the whole thing reminds us of 1984, George Orwell. In fact , the principle is the same - loyalty to the cause comes first, last and everything ..loyalty to a friend would just get in the way of service to the cause.
Gregor. I once had an identical situation to the one that you describe. Sister insisted she had seen an elderly single brother smoking a cigarette in a cafe [Yes it would have been tolerated in a cafe in those days] . Fortunately we had a P O with some common sense. He and I approached the elderly bro. and very gently put it to him. The guy seemed genuinely perplexed and denied it . He had a white pen too !. So the P O just told Sister that she had been mistaken and that was that .
PoppyR, - commiserations , as you say - why did they not offer to help?
BTW - as I recall , Matt 18 need not apply to "serious" matter like drunkenness and smoking since they are "judicial matters" that the elders investigate. If Bro X overcharges Sister Y for a repair job, then it is a personal dispute and Matt 18 applies, (so they say)
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Gregor
Yes, the principle of Matther Chap. 18 got talked about a lot. But, I think every cong. had an elder or two who RELISHED approaching the Bro or Sis Accused after the meeting and, after grabbing another elder, pulling them into the library, closing the door and watch them squirm while they were confronted with the accusation. A certain kind of elder GOT OFF on GOTCHA! situations. I called this personality type Watchtower Nazis. I remember one elders wife who made it her business to keep her eyes and ears open for juicy gossip which went right into her pussy husbands ear. I tried to get him for not keeping confidentiality a couple of times. I was POSITIVE he was sharing committee matters with his bitch wife but I could never nail them down. Yuccch! I am so glad I'm out!
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DannyHaszard
In the rockland massachusetts kingdom hall they had two backrooms one was low profile in the basement and one high visibility in the library with it's bay window for all to see.
Gestapo tactics.