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luna2

Sorry your Mom was sick, but I'm glad you got to leave early Sunday.

Just out of nosiness, does your Dad do anything for Christmas or does he just go along with your mom and pretend it doesn't exist?

serendipity

Hi JGnat,

Why does your hubby have to write a report?

blondie

Hubby has to write a five page report, single spaced, on the meaning of meekness and humility. To be delivered to the elders along with his gonads in a paper bag.

jgnat, if you write it, does that you have to supply the gonads. It's too bad. Who does he write it for, the new elder body? I have never heard of this before being required. Does writing show you are more repentant than if you say it verbally?

Maybe, he should slip $500 in with the report.

Blondie

Satanus

The sheep, not all sheep are content to be raised for food. Take harold, the clever sheep (monty python).

--

'SHEEP'

A small set of a gate in the country overlooking a field. A real rustic in smock and floppy hat is leaning on the gate. A city gent on holiday appears behind him. Off-screen baa-ing noises throughout.

City Gent (TERRY J) Good afternoon.

Rustic (GRAHAM) Artenoon.

City Gent Ah, lovely day isn't it?

Rustic Ar, 'tis that.

City Gent Are you here on holiday or...?

Rustic No no, I live here.

City Gent Oh, jolly good too. (surveys field; he looks puzzled) I say, those are sheep, aren't they?

Rustic Ar.

City Gent Yes, yes of course, I thought so... only... er why are they up in the trees?

Rustic A fair question and one that in recent weeks has been much on my mind. It is my considered opinion that they're nesting.

City Gent Nesting?

Rustic Ar.

City Gent Like birds?

Rustic Ar. Exactly! Birds is the key to the whole problem. It is my belief that these sheep are labouring under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their behaviour. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to hop about the field on their back legs. (off-screen baa-ing) Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice they do not so much fly as plummet. (sound of sheep plummeting) Observe for example that ewe in that oak tree. She is clearly trying to teach her lamb to fly. (baaaaaa... thump) Talk about the blind leading the blind.

City Gent But why do they think they're birds?

Rustic Another fair question. One thing is for sure; a sheep is not a creature of the air. It has enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perching. (crash) As you see. As for flight, its body is totally unadapted to the problems of aviation. Trouble is, sheep are very dim. And once they get an idea into their heads there's no shifting it.

City Gent But where did they get the idea from?

Rustic From Harold. He's that sheep over there under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals – a clever sheep. He's the ring-leader. He has realized that a sheep's life consists of standing around for a few months and then being eaten. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape.

City Gent But why don't you just get rid of Harold?

Rustic Because of the enormous commercial possibilities should he succeed.

Voice Over (ERIC) And what exactly are the commercial possibilities of ovine aviation?

Two Frenchmen stand in front of a diagram of a sheep adapted for flying. They speak rapidly in French, much of it pseudo.

First Frenchman (JOHN) Bonsoir – ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français... maintenant... baa-aa, baa-aa... nous avons, dans la tête, le cabine. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe.

Second Frenchman (MICHAEL) Vive Brian, wherever you are.

First Frenchman D'accord, d'accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pouf célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique.

Transfers his moustache to Second Frenchman.

Second Frenchman Maintenant, le mouton... le landing... les wheels, bon.

Opens diagram to show wheels on sheep's legs.

First Frenchman Bon, les wheels, ici.

Second Frenchman C'est formidable, n'est ce pas... (unintelligibly indicates motor at rear of sheep)

First Frenchman Les voyageurs... les bagages... ils sont... ici!

Triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping their arms and baa-ing.

---

S

willyloman

If you don't like the JW Christianity ...

Is this an "oxymoron," or a "non sequitor?" I get confused.

jgnat

For those who are wondering, Richie has to go because he is a minor. And my hubby has to write a report because he did not display the appropriate humility.

greendawn

Sorry to see that your Christmas weekend got ruined by the JWs.

When will the WTS itself put on the new personality instead of dictating this to others? They have a long way to go and as Will says JW christianity is an oxymoron the vast majority of them are not even in the new covenent.

luna2

And my hubby has to write a report because he did not display the appropriate humility.

jgnat, is your husband getting fed up with this condescending bull yet? Ugh! I'd want to smack those elders in the head with the rolled up humility report.

fullofdoubtnow

What a way to spend Christmas, listening to more recycled bullshit.

I am glad you didn't have to sit through it all Richie, and I hope your mum is ok soon

Bryan

Richie,

I'm glad to hear you survived the spiritual feeding. Sorry itmade your mother sick.

Hope you enjoy the book!

Bryan

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