I am half way through this, and it is the most interesting thing I have read in weeks!!!
I love the perspective; I feel it. I am a fading witness, and beginning to see the really cracked thinking of the rank and file.
YOU ROCK.
Kingdom Hall Diary, an Outsider's Perspective (WARNING - LONG)
by jgnat 47 Replies latest jw experiences
-
-
Pistoff
OK, finished.
Wow. I love that account, and I think you must be the most patient woman on the planet.
I see this from both sides of the coin; I was born in the "truth" but I am fading as fast as I can and still not attract too much attention.
I went through the wringer in my congregation in the early 90's; lots of politics and a very corrupt CO. I wrote a letter for the good guys, who lost, and was marked from that moment forward.
My personal experience is that the elders use lying as a management technique without the slightest qualm; your hubbie's experience sounds familiar.
They are mean, petty, vindictive and controlling. I don't know how you put up with it for so long.
-
jgnat
I crankily offered to sneeze on my palms and shake hands with every JW in the place. Wisely, he backed off. ROFL.... that really cracked me up. - Double Edge
Double Edge, I remember you way back when we used to try and engage Bleep in an intelligent conversation. You struck me right away as a decent Christian. I truly am a tough little mama. I don't think Art knew what kind of bargain he was getting, or the Kingdom Hall either. Glad I made you laugh!
Bebu, your prayers, each one, are a jewel. I am honored. I figure very FEW men figure out what is REALLY IMPORTANT until it is too late.
Your observations are extremely useful reading for any UBMs out there. - Running Man
I gleaned a lot of encouragement from it and some powerful insights. - Daniel P
I've never stepped foot in a KH so it's nice to get a perspective on it. - Seeking Knowledge.I wrote this with your audience in mind. Like I've said, I want to rub off some of the mystique. I am glad I am achieving my goal.
I love the perspective; I feel it. - Pistoff
High praise for a writer. It means I've achieved that ever-elusive "voice".
Aren't elders cute? You wanna just pinch their little gestapo cheeks! - AlmostAthiest
I do get rare satisfaction when I imagine them trolling around the internet trying to figure out who I am. I hide in plain sight. By what my young internet friend described to me, they go to some odd places, too. Some of the internet rumors and innuendo they repeated back to her were gleaned from some very odd corners of the internet. I am still astounded. JW's visit FARK????
An elder that the intruder charged with collecting bank cards from the congregation What's this? Is this how JWs donate now? - Lover Of Truth
I alluded to but did not fully explain a very unusual Kingdom Hall robbery. Here's the link. http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/14/56426/1.ashx Please do not make fun. The congregation was traumatized from the attack.
As I understand it, Any witness can go door to door , provided that they meet basic criteria of morality and being seen to be disconnected from the church, perhaps that was the reason he was not permitted? - BluesBrother
My hubby's status is so low, he's lower than the trail of a snail. He's not permitted in service, I figure, because that's the only "priveledge" they have left to deny him.
It took time to realize that I had been trained to believe that God would in essence MURDER ME for LOVING someone. - Sentient
That's exactly right. From my hubby's point of view, the threat is very real. How much of a leap is it to realize, that God's essence is love and life, and such doctrines do not add up?
I will be looking for more of your posts. - Sassafras
MORE???? you want MORE???? I've been wrung dry all ready. I've nothing left to givvveee. Aaaah, a writer's job is never done. ... Just kidding! I think Lady Lee is right and I am going to have to compile this all in to a decent UBM manual.
I think you must be the most patient woman on the planet. - Pistoff
That's been said to me more than once. I wonder sometimes, if that is fully a compliment, or if I'm just supernaturally forgetful.
I wrote a letter for the good guys, who lost, and was marked from that moment forward. - Pistoff
After our experience, I am convinced more than ever that the organization is it's own worst enemy. We don't have to do much except be there to help people pick up their shattered lives. Thank God for JWD.
-
lisavegas420
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Do you know what happened to the internet girl from Art's KH? Is she df'd, fading? Is she here?lisa
-
jgnat
As you can imagine, I am rather protective of internet girl. She gave me a gift, and it cost her. How could I possibly repay? Last I heard, she hadn't been back to the Kingdom Hall. I probably wasn't a shocker to the Elders. They had me pegged from the beginning. But this sweet young thing wreaked havoc! I don't think they have quite conceived that someone so young, grown in the society, can be independent and strong of mind. I don't think she's ventured here, however. She plays her cards VERY close to her chest.
I dearly hope she has made new friends and is rebuilding a more normal life, and I wish her the very best in her future.
-
Gill
Wow! Jgnat, what can I say.
You must really love Art to put up with all the JW crap! Don't you ever just want to smack him round the head to knock some sense into him.
Are you still suffering JW land to keep him happy?
It certainly brings back my own JW bad memories to read about your congregation.
My husband had refused any 'priviliges' for at least 14 years before we both finally started a proper fade from dub land. We were NOT permitted to any JW social gatherings and JW children were not permitted to come round and play with our children when invited, because, as my dear JW mother put it , 'you are TOO spiritually weak'.
It amazes me, because I have not seen it allowed in any English congregation that I have been to, but non JW partners are NEVER permitted to JW social occassions....EVER! The single sisters of unbelieving mates are not permitted to attend unless it is at weddings and funerals when they are given the 'privilige' of serving food and drinks and washing and cleaning up!
That was a very enlightening read, jgnat! Thanks! Things are certainly done differently around the world.
-
jgnat
Thanks, Gill. Actually, here and there Art and I have been asked along to social gatherings. And when he switched congregations, the love-bombing heated up again. I'll go along to an informal gathering if he asks, but he often turns them down.
I'll go and hear him speak when he gets a TMS part, though that hasn't happened in a while.
I'll go to a regular service as long as he'll go to one of mine as well. I figure, tit for tat, mutual exposure.
And, I'll go to one day, tops, to an assembly or district convention. Those are my favorites because they are anonymous, and, paradoxically, my creativity is spurred on by the background noise. I've done some of my best material, either for work or home, at a convention. All I need is a pencil and a blank notebook.
-
luna2
Wow, jgnat! Great read. I had so many moments of sort of a mental double vision...seeing things from both outside (via your descriptions) and inside (my memories of similar experiences from when I was a dub). I cringed many times as I was reading.
Its so obvious how dysfunctional the religion is to me now. I'm trying to pinpoint what buttons got pushed that I suspended common sense and reasoning ability in order to embrace the JW nonsense so fully. I fear a great deal of my problem is mental laziness...they came to my door and they seemed to have all the answers with a paradise earth cherry on top. Makes me feel so very stupid.
I hope Art can be freed from their tentacles someday. Such a good thing that he broke away enough to marry you...sounds like the best thing he's ever done for himself.
-
jgnat
Interesting perspective, luna. I always figured I was a gift from God to Art. He got my name from the dating service on his birthday.
-
Sunspot
Jgnat, thank you for taking the time to post this most interesting diary!! I thoroughly enjoyed it all, especially your gift of a delicious sense of humor. For all the absurd and hurtful rulez and regz of the evil WTS, they also do many people a large favor of exposing themselves for the hypocrites they are.....thus preventing many possible recruits as in your Art's case LOL!
hugs to you both,
Annie