by serendipity 29 Replies latest social relationships
I think its very important. For example, a Taoist and a Wiccan could probably make it work as long as the rest of the relationship was also balanced and healthy. I don't think that a bible slinging Born again Baptist could make it work with a Bhuddist, Pagan, Muslim, or even a Catholic, but I could be wrong.
I'm thinking that the more tolerant that a belief system is, the easier it would be for people of differing religions to come together.
Thanks for the comments! Anyone else?
As long as we both can talk about it in a respectfull matter to eachother ... it doesn't bother me. Don't try to convert me, and I shan't try to make you a disbeliever ...
I agree with this.
I think it would be easier to have spiritual compatibility. This could be on different levels, not just religon. We don't have the same religious beliefs (cripes my spelling is getting bad:).
Children, I think are the biggest difficulty. We are childless and likely to remain so.
I was married to a muslim, being with a JW is actually harder cause the rules seem to change within his family as they see fit. Oh well.
Tan
I believe that it is important.
When my husband and I met, we used to have long spiritual conversations. I was very confused religiously but still open to spiritual 'options'. I considered myself to be a Christian, and although we disagreed on some of the deeper subjects, the basics were still sound.
Then, I went to college, began doing a lot of research into religion in general, and my faith in God and the bible melted away.
It was very hard on my husband and still is. It is hard for us to talk now. I am not tactless in our conversations, but the mere fact that I no longer believe really winds him up. This is especially true when he tries to 'convince' me of some point or another and cannot do so.
It has made him very sad.
I feel badly for him, but will not lie and tell him I believe something I do not.
In some ways, he feels that it was bait and switch. My faith in something so very important to him was part of why he fell in love with me. Now, part of that reason is gone...
Jean
the two longest term relationships I had were: my marriage, to a fellow JW, which lasted 20 years but was as hollow as a dead tree spiritually and emotionally. The relationship I'm in now, heading into its 6th year is not based on a mutual spiritual agreement, perse, as he is a BAC and I am an animist, among other things. It rests and thrives on mutual respect in all areas of life. If you have that, all can be worked out. Most important is that both know themselves well and are spiritual people. Much different from religious.......
Terri
JW's overuse the term "spiritual". A person can be very "spiritual" but not "religous". Catch my drift??
Spiritual compatability is very important. But it can be drowned out by religous compatability, which in reality is not as important. This is especially difficult for JW's. My last relationship ended because my girlfriend felt we did not have spiritual compatability. When we really didn't have religous compatability.
I hope someone understood that.
Ah the joys of explaining feeling and perception through the limited english language.
-Proteus
Proteus, you explained it perfectly!
How important is/was spirituality to you when considering a person as a husband/wife?
I'm not married - WAY too young for that!! - but I am dating a JW, so this is something that I've been contemplating. I think it's a matter of personal comfort, with yourself and your partner, even if your beliefs aren't the same.
I have my faith, I know what I believe and I'm comfortable going to church periodically, but I'm not an especially religious person, so people who are overly zealous about their faith tend to make me uncomfortable, like I'm not worthy or something.
I would never insist on dating and marrying only someone who shares all of my beliefs, that's just insane, and besides, variety is the spice of life. Why would I want to cut myself off from a potentially perfect mate just because his beliefs aren't quite compatible with mine?? That's what compromise is all about.
The only problem I see with spiritual/religious incompatibility is when it affects more parts of your life than just your faith. Dating a JW, like I am, brings about more problems than just a conflict of beliefs - it brings up things that affect your whole life, like no celebrations and more importantly, no blood transfusions, which could mean life or death for your partner and your children.
That's when incompatible beliefs cause trouble, when it affects everything, including the wellbeing of children.
For me, I just want someone who understands and respects my beliefs, even if he doesn't adhere to them, and someone who won't use his faith as a reason to endanger himself and his children, either for social or medical reasons. I'm not looking for Anglican guys only, and I wouldn't turn down a Muslim or a Jew, and I certainly didn't turn down a JW, but there are considerations to be taken.
The key is communication and compromise, and if you have those two things, then you can at least give your relationship a fighting chance. It's all about accommodating and respecting each other in a relationship, and if you can't do that, then it's not going to work out.
Just my two cents.
-Becka :)
It is important. But there is problem in any relationship: one person will be more spiritual than the other. Can be slower learner. Can you LOVE the person anyway? Or you may think that he need some constant "kick" to make more progress faster? LOVE is always the most important in any relationship. Now, there is another stumble block to marital unity: Religion. Or, in another words sets of rules and regulations mostly invented by humans to control others ( with exception when they are CRISTAL CLEAR from the Bible). WT is NOT CRISTAL CLEAR Religion, as you already know. This is VERY SERIOUS Wall to unity in marriage. Some estimate that more about 80-90 % JW marriages goes up in smoke, sooner or later. The rest not divorced yet, put up false front for brothers and people, but there is no love or any unity or understanding between them, no companionship, no sex life, different beds, different rooms for months or years. Why? CODE OF SILENCE. LIES. DECEPTION. Religion made in Brooklyn, not from the Bible.
Religious leanings can change as you grow older. (like appearance and other things) I think communication is more important.
