Has my biological family stopped shunning me?????

by Elsewhere 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Elsewhere,

    Wow that is like some kind of dream after the previous treatment you've experienced.

    I ran into an Elder and his wife at the grocery store who was on my Judical Committee when I went to visit my sons. Well they actually smiled at me and the Elder said hello to me after I said hello to him first. I thought that was surprising as I'm disfellowshipped its been over 4 years. This Elder gave me a really big smile and seemed genuinely glad to see me with my new husband. It was pretty weird. Anyway I got to thinking I wonder if there have been orders from the Society to try to encourage disf'ed ones to work toward reinstatement. Pretty surprising event.

    I hope this behavior continues, your Paw Paw sounds awesome.

    Balsam

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist
    You know, the kind where they treat you nice so long as they believe they have a chance of getting to rejoin the religion.

    Nah, they were just hoping for a ride in your Mini!

    Good experiences, Else, thanks for sharing. Like Andi said, it's a gift. If it never becomes anything else, at least you enjoyed that. And saw what was in your family's heart when the Watchtower dogma is stripped away.

    Dave

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    Cool post E.
    Well expressed.
    Whatever it all *means*...you inspire a lot of confidence that you will be able to handle it. This Chapter reads like a success story. Goodonya.
    high regard,
    SPAZ

  • Rabbit
    Rabbit



    Else:


    It was kind of funny that when she same around the corner and saw me she froze with the classic “Deer JW in the headlights” look. I smiled and moved forward to shaker her hand and say hello. She was literally “taken aback” and took a step back and shook my hand with a nervous and uneasy look about her. I guess she’d never seen a real live ‘postate before.



    You didn't really wear Valis' red 'devil' horns there, didja' ? And, how did you keep your eyes from glowing like they do when you are speaking ? I have trouble controling mine, as you know.

    Oh, well. I agree with the others it did sound genuine. Good for you -- good for them. Funerals do have a way of making people face the reality of their mortality -- it's very sobering. It seems like they may have been, at least temporairily, disarmed. It's tough on a persons psyche to keep up that level of hatred for years and years.

    In a similar vein: My wife and I were invited to my daughters house recently, imagine my joy in seeing my x-wife (uber-dub) was there, too. A little while later the X's neices come in (I haven't seen them in 7 years) they were my favorites. Their arms went up as soon as they saw me ! They came up -- and hugged me warmly, genuinely. Now I'm not DF/DA'd but, I am soundly marked on my forehead for not attending meetings, I've been accused of apostasy, remarried to an 'unbeliever' and according to the WT I 'committed adultry' by getting married again.

    Yet, they treated me warmly and most importantly -- right out in the open.

    And it wasn't even a full moon !

    It does make you feel good, doesn't it Elsewhere ? Go with the flow.

    Rabbit

    Edited to add: There was a recent funeral in their family, too.

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    Else,

    It was so nice to see that your experience was far better than your previous encounters. Those of us who have "been there" know the gamut of emotions that are gone through while pretending you don't notice the rude behavior from members of THE organization "known for their love".

    I'm glad you went, but glad you're home again, where the JW views, actions and treatment of the "disapproved ones" can go from bad to good and back to bad in a heartbeat.

    hugs,

    Annie

  • Forscher
    Forscher

    I think you just found out why the WTBTS is so desperately trying to tighten its grip. It would appear that in some places the discipline in the congregations may be starting to come apart. That is about the only explanation I can come up with.

    Forscher

  • jonsey
    jonsey

    Elsewhere,

    I can tell you that your tale has made me feel better that I am not alone and that the shunning from JW's is alive and well. Before Christmas I got a letter from mom basically saing that she is going to have to make a decision and left the letter open ended for me to answer. A ways back my brother asked me to be his best man...he called back and he was pretty upset and said the elders said no. My brother asked if I was still coming to the wedding anyhow. You all know what would have happened...and this is what I told my brother..."Once I get there I will be treated like I had the flu...the elders would speak with me in private and walla I am DF'd. A told my brother that I love him and that he is always in my heart and that I wished him all the best. My letter back to mom will be finished this week and I will keep you posted.

    Mike

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    I have some erratic family members. They may not be JW's, but they are mentally ill. When they are having a good run, I bask in the normalcy, take lots of photos, visit often, and store up the memories. But I don't expect it to last. That way, I guard my heart. You may want to do the same.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Good for you, Elsewhere. When people get older, suddenly all those things that were so important become less so. I'm not ready yet to go to family funerals/weddings/etc.

    Sorry about your grandmother. Too bad someone has to die to spend time with some of the living.

    Blondie

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz

    Elsewhere,

    I am happy that you got to spend some relatively peaceful time with your family. I surely miss mine.

    Just be careful with your heart. JW's are tricky and hard to figure out. They will pull you in with certain behaviors just to shut you out and treat you badly again. It's happened to me and it feels just like losing them again. I don't know if I care to lose them again... it hurts too much.

    Jean

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