How do you choose...... (page 2)

juni

Welcome EC!

I can appreciate what you are feeling. I was in the org. for 21 yrs. And our 4 children (who are adults now) were also. For me I felt that I could never do enough or be enough according to the org. I always felt guilty in that I was always down on myself for one reason or another. Was worse after assemblies where we were admonished to do more.

For my kids they couldn't get past the hypocrisy. It depended who you were (pioneer, baptized) as how you were viewed. I tried to encourage them, but you can't come up w/an excuse for hypocrisy. Things got worse and we finally tried another Hall. Same thing. Then they started talks on wanting more money to finish Patterson educational complex. For my husband that was the last straw. He had given public talks, was a MS and very active as I was. Saw and heard things that would make your hair curl!

Reading on the board here I've found that many others have experienced similar things. I believe there's a difference between being a spiritual person and doing what is right before your Creator and belonging to a religion that is run by men. Remember the scripture that says that, "Let God be true, though every man a liar." All and all the important thing is our personal relationship w/our Creator.

All the other junk that the org. adds to this basic command to "fear God and follow his commandments" is just that. Like the Pharisees, they make it impossible to fullfil and then often times don't set a good example themselves. Just keep pushing the guilt if you don't try your hardest to do all that they command as if it were coming directly from Jehovah. That's where they're wrong.

I feel that a person coming out of the org. has to take time for themselves to meditate on what they want out of life - for themselves and in leading their children towards being productive, loving adults. I feel that you will get support and no judging and good ideas from the posters here as we've all gone through many of the same situations and can relate completely. That helps a lot. Some posters get kind of nuts, but you have to decide for yourself what is good for you to consider and what to ignore.

I hope this helps you. I can appreciate that you are taking a huge leap; I did too. If you want to Private Mail me just click on my name Juni and go from there. Take care. Juni~~~~~~~~

Star Moore

Hello dear friend,

It comes down to, do you want to ordered what to believe, or do you want true christian freedom and have Jesus be your true mediator instead of 12 men in Bethel. I have learned in leaps and bounds with my new set of eyes since I left in Aug. I choose freedom and Jesus.

Lovingly, Star

AlmostAtheist

I guess what I am trying to say is ANYONE can take the bible and twist it or construe it to mean whatever they want it to mean, so really, where is the truth??

Yep, it pretty much says whatever you want it to say. As I recently found out, the Bible doesn't even necessarily condemn homosexuality. (Or maybe it does, depends on who's translating/interpreting it.)

Many Christians here have said that when they quit trying to identify "correct" dogma, and instead concentrated on Jesus' words about being kind, doing to others as you'd have them do to you, and the like -- concentrating on the Love aspect, essentially -- the rest sort of worked itself out.

Maybe you need to pop into a non-denominational church and just sit through a service or two? Or maybe you just need to let go of "religion" altogether and concentrate on your faith itself, as a self-standing thing.

The beginning of knowledge is the statement, "I don't know." It's better to have questions you can't answer, than answers you can't question.

Glad you're here and posting, I'm sure there are many more in your position that will benefit from the conversation you've started. Welcome!

Dave

IronClaw

Welcome EC, I as well can relate. Recently learning so much myself. In a nutshell what worked for me was not so much ( what do I believe now ) as much as ( what not to believe now. ) It seems you know and will continue to know what not to believe, as far as the WTS is concerned. I agree with most posters here, just time to sift it all out. Time works wonders. A cut won't heal overnight.

schne_belly

I too have many of the same feelings and questions. I definitely believe there is a God. I can see the proof to believe he exits and I, like you, find comfort in knowing a greater being is watching over me.

As regards to more detailed things and what my future holds…. For me it’s hard to just not know. After all, growing up as a JW, I knew exactly what was going to happen; At least I thought I did. Now having to come to grips with the fact that it may not be true after all, is difficult. Then again it may be 100% correct. Who am I to say?. I'm just confused. I figure what God has set out to happen will happen regardless if I believe it or not.. It’s okay to not have all the answers, or ANY answers for that matter.

It’s not the prospect of living forever in

drew sagan

Mabye the first thing you can accept is that NOBODY can figure everything out. Life is a journey that can last a long time. Use your powers of objective thinking to research and study. If you choose to remain Christian, start by learining the basics about Jesus. Read the Bible without having somebody elses interpretation hanging over you. You won't have all the answers today or tomarrow, but that is not the point.

Good luck to you

LittleToe

Take your time and most of all be kind to yourself, even in the face of what you see as inadequacies. After all, aren't you supposed to love your neighbour as yourself?

There's no rush. "Grace" insists that it's not forced

Frannie Banannie

Welcome to the JWD forum! So glad you've decided to say hello! Can't wait to hear your experiences! Check out Lady Lee's "Best of Recovery Threads" and particularly this one..... 3 Parts: Psych Issues When Leaving Restrictive Relig Grps- Print Copy http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/16/57203/1.ashx [ the 2 nd post has the article reformatted for easier reading]

Frannie

poppers

"Where do you start? How do you just "allow" grace, or whatever, to just happen?"

What a beautiful question, what sincerity. Take a deep breath, release it, and look around at everything as if seeing it for the first time - it would be helpful if you could do this outside if possible, but it's not really necessary. No need to think about anything, label anything, judge anything, compare anything. Just look and just listen with open innocent awareness. Any ideas which arise about anything which is seen or heard are just that, ideas - there is no need to believe any of them. Keep returning to this very moment because this very moment is all there is. When you find yourself thinking about the past or the future return to the immediacy of your environment - this is where "grace" abides, and this grace just happens because it cannot be any other way. Your very nature, the "core" of "you" (what you really are) is grace itself - nothing has to be done to get it, because you are it - just see it for yourself.

Mum

Welcome to the forum, EC. I appreciated what acquittal told you. Pat answers by know-it-all self-proclaimed representatives of the Almighty will just drop you into the same hole.

I hope you won't take a destructive path, as some ex-JW's have done (drugs, drinking, promiscuity, etc. - but rock 'n roll is fine!).

Is there an ex-JW or ex-cult member support group in your area? If not, there are some online, such as this one.

You might need to consult a psychologist who specializes in deprogramming former cult members.

The best thing to do right now is relax and accept your situation without trying to fill the gaps left by the WT too fast.

Personally, I had a pre-JW life, which does make it somewhat easier to break away. I am assuming that you were brought up a JW from birth. That must be really tough when you try to let go and start making your own choices and having to do your own analyzing and sorting of information.

Go slowly. Be patient with yourself. What you need will come to you in ways you least expected. Welcome to freedom.

Best regards,

SandraC

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