why do elders always pass on your private info?

by hamsterbait 13 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  hamsterbait

  
  Just read in another thread how a youngster moved many many miles from his old congo, where he had 'fessed to "self-abuse" (how many of the GB were in the early boy-scouts, I ask?)

  Anyway, the new book study conductor took him to one side after the meeting and asked how successful was he in dealing with his "problem".

  This is what gets me so much about letting HLC see your records - they have no sense of tactful kindness or privacy.

  I knew someone who struggled with cross-dressing for many years. When he still wanted to try to be a witless, he went (fool!) to an elder for help. Years later the elder died. End of issue? No!

  When the elder's wife was about to die, she asked to speak to another elder. Her husband had passed the information to her, so that in the event of his death the problem could still be dealt with. By this time the now ex-witless and his wife had moved away, and were rebuilding their lives in a rural community.

  One day two elders walked up the path. They were complete strangers, yet had the cheek to start asking all kinds of nosey personal questions. Needless to say they were told to ***********! BUT-

  Not before he told them he met an elder - for 25 years- at a drag ball. This guy had been doing it even before he was appointed (by Holy Spirit? WBTS should do stand up) They wanted to know where. He just said find out like you did with me, and slammed the door.

  Yet strange to say, witlesses in the community now stopped talking to them, and avoiding them.

  Once you admit a weakness or problem, God will forgive and forget. WBTS does neither, but ensures what they know on you will follow you around for the rest of your life. Since they won't let you read their "confidential " report on you, it is impossible to challenge what they say, or have false (or even true) information wiped away and forgotten.

  Anyone else pay the price for rash confiding and confession?

  HB
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  Dune

  I plan on getting my report before i switch congregations, i just want to see what kind of info they have on me in there, and perhaps if i can do a little bit of doctoring myself :-d.
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  Swan

  I knew someone who struggled with cross-dressing for many years.

  He must not be doing it right. Obviously he needs to stop wearing clothes too small for him.

  I mean, we women have to struggle too sometimes, especially after the holidays, but for years?

  Tammy
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  Elsewhere

  lmao @ swan
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  FairMind

  Anyone else pay the price for rash confiding and confession?

  At the time I did not consider the confessing to be rash but the "Christian" thing to do. Of course the matter was not held in strict confidence as I had been assured it would be. After committing the same stupid blunder with regard to another problem and with the same betrayal of confidence I formed new principles I now apply. (1) "Most elders are gossips and since one bad apple spoils the barrel, never tell them any thing. (2) Confessing sins or confiding problems to elders always results in harm, not good. (3) The WTS could give a rat's you know what about this problem. (3) Most JWs also have learned these principles the hard way.
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  TallTexan

  I've never dealt with this issue, but I do know that elders pass on your private info to their wives ALL THE TIME!!!! And then that gossip gets repeated and twisted and passed around and pretty soon everyone within 200 miles knows. Such lowlifes......
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  blindersoff

  Even though at elders schools, co visits, etc there is at least lip service given to confidentiallity, when an elder leaves, what happens to your confidential info?

  B
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  slugga

  That was me!

  Not the drag thing but the self abuse prob, looking back it was such a stupid thing to confess to but I wanted to get baptised and thought it was holding me back. When i changed congregations and was pulled up over it i realised that not only did my new BSC know about it but that my new PO would too. For a young bloke in his late teens this was really embarrassing and slightly crushing, I felt like the whole GBE knew

  Whats worse is that I KNOW that somewhere there is still a bit of paper with my name on and a note that says "Matthew XXXXX - He plays with himself"

  Matt
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  Lady Lee

  to answer the original question

  why do elders always pass on your private info?

  It's all about control. You cannot escape Big Brother. Your past is never forgiven and follow you where ever you go.

  If you had a problem in one cong you can be assured the next cong will know about it and will look for any instances where the problem arises again to "prove" a "pattern of behavior" and an "unrepentant" spirit

  It's funny. It seems they are more active in tossing out the ones they have than in caring for the ones they want to keep.
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  Confession

  Okay here's my experience. Elders were constantly warned to keep confidential matters confidential. I had no problem with this--and I'd have to say usually elders followed this.

  BUT... Lots of times they didn't, and it used to bug the crap out of me as an elder. It was hard to deal with, because I was a young elder (only 29 when appointed,) and I figured the older, more experienced guys knew how things were supposed to work more than I. I remember once being over a friend and fellow elder's home, in his living room, when he started telling me about the details of one younger sister's judicial committee.

  Our wives were in the next room, I don't think they heard--but they certainly might have! So I asked him, "Why are you telling me this? Isn't that supposed to be confidential?"

  It happened a couple of times with my Dad too. When I'd get together with he and Mom, from time to time he'd share some of the problems going on in their congregation--and some of the details. The second or third time it happened, I got really angry, almost shouting at him. "What are you TELLING me this for?! Why are you revealing the details of a judicial committee hearing in front of ME and MOM?! Can't you understand "confidential""?!!!

  I guess sometimes the details of a situation come out in the congregation, and (to be honest) it usually doesn't start with the elders. Family members, friends, others involved--sometimes even the individual him or herself--start talking.

  In one committee I chaired, (go here to read... http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/103545/1.ashx) it was the accused elder who was spewing the details of the case willy nilly! Men and women from congregations for miles around would phone us to say he'd called them about it. Me? Hell, I wasn't even telling elders outside of the committee about it! Confi--flipping--dential! Say it with me.

  In such situations where everyone knew about it, I wouldn't mind discussing it with them. BUT I would never reveal the actual details of a hearing itself. Other elders felt as strongly about it as I did. But others revealed stuff all the time. I remember one time giving a talk on gossiping. I acknowledged that often women are the ones who have the reputation as gossips. "But I can assure you," I said, "gossip is NOT limited to sisters!" A couple of the elders in question knew I was sending it in their direction.