Is it always ethical to try to help someone get out? (page 3)

evita

Merry
Your post moved me to tears. This is how I felt about my relationship with my mom. Sadly, she died last year and I miss her so much. I hate what this religion did to our relationship. Like you, I just wanted my mom! I think it is worth it to try to maintain some semblance of a relationship. I also felt frustrated and sad because it was so limited. But now I would give anything just to see her one more time.
Back to the topic...My mom would have had a major breakdown if she had to face the truth about the "truth". I think she came close many years ago when she left her abusive JW husband. The elders were harassing her for leaving him and also for professing to be one of the 144,000. I heard many doubts in her voice during this time. She spent some time in a womens shelter and was seeing a therapist. But the whole thing was so frightening to her that she emerged a stronger dub than before. I wish I could have given her more support during that time but I was a mess myself.
Eva

Mary

Merry said: I don't know how to go on walking on eggshells to maintain this bizarre shadow-relationship with her, yet I know she is probably psychologically fragile. I just want my momI want to be able to talk openly with her, share honest thoughts and feelings and information.

Merry, hate to say this, but if you want to keep any relationship with your mom, you HAVE to walk on eggshells. Alot of us, me included, do. While I've done the Fade, my elderly parents are still Witnesses and believe this is The Truth, even though they've been screwed over royally. I would love to be able to share what I know about the Borg with them, be open and honest about it, but I can't. First, they would be horrified that I had (apparently) 'turned to the Dark Side' and would be extremely hurt. Second, even if I managed to convince them that this wasn't The Truth and that we had all been lied to, I think it would absolutely devastate them and could very likely kill them in the truest sense of the word.

I'm not prepared for that, so we rarely talk about religion even though my father still makes comments about "Babylon the Great" and Armageddon coming, etc. etc. Even though it annoys me, I just ignore it. No it's not fair we have to do this, but it's the most realistic way to approach it if you want to keep your relationship with them open.

Just my two cents.

Mary

IMustBreakAway

I think it depends on their beliefs and yours. I believe all god's are false so if religion helps them to be a better person, a better family then who cares what they believe? If they want to believe in something irrational like 607 then why strain it? If lack of a blood transfusion doesn't kill them then a falling rock might. (hell the blood transfusion still might kill them) At least they can die happy with their world view. It seems callous and i am sorry for that but everyone dies. Whenever i think about death i think of the irish lads in 1916 who marched into battle with barely seeds in their pockets so that when they died and were buried family could find the graves. They knew they were going to die. They knew it was hopeless, but the believed in what they were doing. And they knew they were going to die someday. Again i'm sorry if it sounds callous.

DannyBloem

I think it is a very difficult question, and it really depends on the circumstances

I asked this also myself one time already: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/93448/1.ashx

some say yes, some say no....

DB

slugga

I'm in two minds about this more so after reading some experiences on this site. For some its helped liberate them and they have gone on to have happier lives (Me included) whereas others on this site have found that their lives have suddenly turned to a mound of steaming poop.

Its a hard call and you have to weigh up both sides and figure out where that person will be happiest.

If I could go off on a slight tangent and spin this topic on its head, I always felt bad about "ruining" peoples lives when interested people would start to question their established faiths and start to loose their faith because of things i said on doors or at work.

Matt

jwfacts

Is it ethical to tell someone elses child there is no Santa?

I don't think it always is ethical to help someone get out. It is a case by case basis and also depends on how well you know them, how they would react and survive without the Borg.

A lot of people are followers. Being a JW is better than being a nothing, or them drifting into some other crack pot cult.

Is it always ethical to try to help someone get out?