>>Bet there's another evil group controlling all of us pagans!
Are you referring to the Alumi-naughty? We're a small, but powerful group of businessmen, religious leaders, and door-to-door vacuum cleaner salespeople. Our dark agenda consists of poisoning all non-pagans with aluminum and promoting jay-walking.
Next time you see a Christian with a can of Coke crossing the street on a "Don't Walk" sign, remember what I've told you today.
Dave