by Ustabee 11 Replies latest jw friends
What was your [or someone else's]most embarrassing comment?
Mine was during a WT Study on Christian qualities: On courtesy:
"Courtesy is the lubricant for social intercourse." Quote from God only knows what piece of literature. Total silence after this one and no counsel from anyone after the meeting. Did they even get it?
In the middle of his bible reading, one brother at our congregation said, "of course, it wasn't a literal apple that tempted Eve... it was the pair underneath!"
I think most of the audience went into a state of shock.
I was too far out... and not waving but drowning - Stevie Smith
Our Field Service Overseer was giving a Service Meting part encouraging JWs to turn in their Field Service Reports on time. He followed this by saying, "You don't want to suffer from irregualrity, now, do you?" The audience busted out laughing, but he got a mad llok as he blushed, because he felt humor and laughing had no place in the Kingdom Hall meetings. - Amazing
but he got a mad llok as he blushed, because he felt humor and laughing had no place in the Kingdom Hall meetings. - Amazing
Glad I wasn't in his cong. My god, you had to do something to wake some of those people up! Besides, isn't God a 'Happy God'?
He should have been there when the brother gave the talk 'Identifying the True Christian Congregation' with those parts about idiosyncracies. The one giving the talk had the whole congregation rolling in the aisles with the 'paper towels rolling out in the right direction'; 'not answering the phone on the first ring' and the 'old codger who had his wife ride in the back seat while his dog rode in the front'. And a lot more... the guy was invited back everywhere he went with that talk.
When my son was about 2 1/2 years old he fell asleep during a Sunday meeting. We sitting right behind an elder, on that used to make comments about kids falling asleep during the meeting. On this particular day, my son wet his pants while sleeping and left a wonderful dark mark on the green carpet.
Boy, did I set a record leaving the hall that day!
When I was 14 or 15 I was giving a reading during the Ministry School, can't really remember what I was talking about, but I lost my place in my notes, tried to sound like I knew what I was doing, read the same passage twice, and skipped a whole section of the reading.
When I finished there was complete silence (even the crickets were quiet). I was humiliated as I sat down, and I had to "accept council" later when the elders decided I wasn't serious in my studies.
The most embarassing thing I can think of happened during my first public reading of the Watchtower. I forget what the study article addressed but it had to have something to do with a sexual immorality or not confessing your sins to the elders.
The brother conducting the meeting was a long time elder and had sat on a lot of judicial committee meetings. Right after I finished reading a paragraph and a few comments he gave this experience of a sister who always seemed to having a lot of personal problems. So he explained that the elders went to meet with her to see if there was something she was doing in her life that was perhaps holding back jehovah's blessing from her. Of course, the inquiry turned to sexual matters and they asked if she had been doing anything improper with anyone. She said no, not with anyone in particular except her german shepherd dog!!!!! I'm tellin y'all, the hall got quiet, eyes were opened and even though our congregation was racially diverse, everybody turned pale white. I will never forget that as long as I live.
ONE....
bigboi
"life's a bitch a with a g-string and a twelve pack of Busch."
One sister raised her hand during a WT study, and commented on the public talk just given previously on Simon Peter. She commenced to tell how she felt that sometimes she had a little peter in her, in fact, we ALL have a little peter in us from time to time!!! Her poor husband almost died of embarrassment. Another instance; this may be an urban legend, was this young fellow during his bible reading said,"And they pinched their tits in canaan" instead of "they pitched their tents in canaan". Dino
This wasn't at a meeting, but a home bible study with the Bro. who was studying with our family at the time @1967. This happened to me, I swear.
He asked a simple question, "who was Noah's 3 sons?". We were quite young at the time, and were thinking hard on this one.
He said, "think of a sandwhich." Thinking we would at least say "Ham."
I raised my handle quickly and with a quizical look on my face and a question in my comment said, "Peanut, Butter, and Jelly?"
Was there ever a laugh.
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There was a CO around here a not quite a couple of years ago. And he gave in his talk, "...they worshipped, the male phallus. (like there's a female one?). For you who don't know what that is, it's the male penis... in a state of arousal...when it's erect... stiff ...and hard, pointing up... to the sky..." At this point I swear I heard children crying, and a few people clearing their throats. After that I had to clear out the ol' vas-defrons myself!
I was waiting for him to get even more graphic.
Which, I think he did at a C assembly. Something about it ejaculating?
Think captain Kirk from star trek: "No e-s--cape...must make it to ba-th---r-o-o-m. A-l-l s-t-a-l-l-s o-c-c-u-p-i-e-d. Oh no, M-u-s-t p-u-t b-a-l-l-s on i-c-e. C-an'-t g-e-t b-lu-e b-a-l-l-s n-o-w... SPOCK! H-o-w c-o-u-l-d y-o-u?"
When I was about 12 or 13, a MS got on the platform to announce that the meeting was about to begin.
He said, "Brothers and sisters, we'd like you to FART I mean, start finding your seats."
Mom and I laughed through the entire talk over that one.
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I gave a talk during the TMS one time about Jesus being the foundation of the Christian congregation, and said that Peter was the foundation. I didn't get any counsel on that; I don't really think anyone was paying attention.
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My dad used to pass gas and then laugh and point at my mom. (There's a farting gene in my family, I guess) When my little sister was about 3, we were sitting in the third row of the KH during the Service Meeting. She passed gas V-E-R-Y loudly, then laughed and pointed to my Mom. Mom turned beet red and several families around us started laughing.
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My dad gave my sister's wedding talk, and through the course of the talk, he discussed how wives are supposed to cook and clean, blah blah, takes some time to get used to each other, blah blah... and he said to my brother in law, "G_________, I hope you like chicken, 'cause that's all she knows how to cook. And she isn't very good at it, but I'm sure she'll learn." The whole congregation cracked up, but my sister wasn't too happy about that comment. Even though it's true. (To this day, she can't cook anything but chicken.)
--Reagan
I am the master of my fate/I am the captain of my soul.
