Gimme your best excuses

by justsomedude 32 Replies latest jw friends

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  slugga

  "I have Lice"

  lol
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  greendawn

  I wish the human environment at the KH was warmer to motivate me to go there, as it is I get frustrared and depressed when I find myself in it.
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  Mary

  Yes, I'd try the Depression excuse, but if that don't work, tell them someone at the Hall stumbled you. That's totally believable!
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  G Money

  But just give it time and some will be jealous of your vacations from the meetings. Last week I was told I'd die and that birds and dogs would tear me apart on the ground whilst alive and I'd die a slow, painfull death, unless of course I resumed 5 meetings a week and service. I also was told it was better to commit suicide.
  
  I had the person call me and I put them on speakerphone so others can see how really whacked the witnesses are. They got an earfull.
  
  Best to fade and move. Many get jealous that you are moving on and happy and they are slaves to corrupt teachings, boring meetings and lame people. Living well is the best revenge but it also makes them look bad and many are jealous.
  
  Got a call today from a crazy ex witness I dated and she was pissed I was having fun and not going to meetings. Think she'll try to get me as she is nuts and still going. She was DFed and a party girl and now she is on this HUGE self-righteous horse. She said we are so close to the end like any day now. I said great, post date me a check for 10 years for $20,000. Her faith then wasn't as strong. Same old BS and now she is a nut.
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  geevee

  Chemical sensitivities is the best, old sister so and so's perfume nearly kills me, and the after shave of brother smith, well, i dont know at what reject shop he buys that. Then the arsnic fumes that come off that carpet and combine that with the acylic paint fumes! as well as the exhaust fumes from young brother speed demons car, he just cant start the thing and leave, no he has to warm it up for 10 minutes.........
  
  This chemical syndrome is a beautiful thing. Oh and by the way, your deodorant is giving me a headache right now!!!! LOL
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  serendipity

  In my cong, there's one Bible study doesn't feel ready to get baptized, after 4 years of studying. People at the KH were giving the BS a hard time, and the love bombing stopped quite some time ago. It's no surprise that the BS now uses the excuse that there's something in the air at the KH that makes her feel bad, and she leaves quickly after the meetings.
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  Virgogirl

  Yes, chemical sensitivities, or low blood sugar, allergies to mold, dust, carpet chemicals (soil/stain treatments) anxiety orclaustrphobia in crowds, but having your meds adjusted, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) causes depression in areas that don't get much sunshine and have long periods of gray, gloomy weather. Anemia, for which you must rest and sleep a lot until you build up strength.
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  Scully

  "I'm on a special assignment helping the Circuit Overseer. Ooops I've said too much already. You didn't hear that from me, ok?"

  "I've been going to XYZ congregation because I've had to work late on our meeting nights."

  "I've been learning Sign Language and am going to the meetings where I can practice Signing."

  "Say, weren't you the telemarketer that phoned me the other night?? ... it sounded so much like your voice it isn't funny."

  "Didn't you know that I've changed congregations because this one sucks @$$?"
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  Scully

  "I've been on stake-outs outside of taverns and strip clubs on meeting nights. You'd be surprised how many elders and ministerial servants show up there after the Elders Meetings™."
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  Virgogirl

  Crabs. Crabby!