Shunned on my home turf for the first time! (page 2)

jgnat

How about 5, direct confrontation.

5. "If you can't even condescend to a few social niceties, I'll have to ask you to leave. If you decide to come back, lose the attitude."

I recently send a letter to my nephew the only family member I have as a JW and his family who has been shunning me now for 5 years. I had been keeping them imformed of my life and the life of my two sons who have left the witness. Steve had agreed when I was disfellowshipped that he would like me to keep contact that way but that he would not contact me at all while I am out. Well after sending letters one each year on how we're doing I sent my final letter.

The point in it is that I love them but will have no further contact unless they contact me, that I in finished with the shunning thing and will not have people part of my life that support it. That was a month ago and I don't expect to hear anything from them. They have nothing to do with my Brother who lives in the same state and has never been a JW so I'm writing them off. They can shun if they want but I don't have to accept it or put up with it.

I think your idea is great just saying that if they come you will not tolerate any shunning. I probably would not have bothered to even let them know that the appliances were available knowing their attitude. But you were being kind your Uncle in law was being an donkey's butt.

Something we all need to do is let it be known we won't tolerate bad behavior on their part, and if they can't behave they can stay away.

blondie

We are faders, inactive for 3 years. No one is shunning us that didn't shun us when we were active JWs in "good standing."

It's a silly game some JWs play. It reminds me of this:

(Luke 18:9-14) 9

But he spoke this illustration also to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and who considered the rest as nothing: 10 "Two men went up into the temple to pray, the one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and began to pray these things to himself, ‘O God, I thank you I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unrighteous, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week, I give the tenth of all things I acquire.’ 13 But the tax collector standing at a distance was not willing even to raise his eyes heavenward, but kept beating his breast, saying, ‘O God, be gracious to me a sinner.’ 14 I tell YOU, This man went down to his home proved more righteous than that man; because everyone that exalts himself will be humiliated, but he that humbles himself will be exalted."

The shunners some how think they are not sinners.

Blondie

anewme

Whatever happened to the notion that "Love never fails"?

I somehow missed the Sunday lesson on shunning is Christianity's way of returning the sinner to Christ.

Because someone is dfd are they irredeemable? I never thought so.

I never learned that. I thought love and kindness were the key to reaching hearts! At least that is what I learned to be the lesson of the Christ.

I thought we were supposed to care about the dfd ones. I thought they were regularly visited and encouraged if they would suffer a visit.

Little does the congregation know that if they slip up and get dfd they will be considered lost forever to Gods love.

My only experience with dfd ones in my old hall were various family members slipped up, but always the other family would stand by them, defy the orders and encourage their erring member on the sly and the erring one would ALWAYS RETURN. Only one man who was dfd 3 times never came back after that.

I saw maybe 10 people get dfd, but all came back! Why? Because somebody loved them enough to defy the elders non Christian orders.

I am shocked to say the least that not one of my relatives has tried to contact me since my dfing 5 years ago.

Anyway, I am currently reading a book on the life of Benjamin Franklin and in it the author describes the times of Franklins youth. John Winthrop of the witch burning fame and Cotton Mather were the elders in charge of the church in Boston. Puritan intolerance and Calvinism held the authority over all the early colonial townships.
Amidst this atmosphere did many like ourselves seek to live and prosper and find their way. It is fascinating reading and gives one a better perspective of our current distresses when one considers that these shunnings and troubles with church authorities and the subject of religious freedom has been going on for hundreds if not thousands of years.

I say, be happy if you have found freedom. For freedom has been the dream of many a man and woman since the beginning of time. Many have fought and died for it. Our forefathers fought that you and I would have the freedom to choose in this country, that no church and no group of men should play master over our lives! We are free men and women and we should cherish that freedom and vow never to allow it to be taken from us again. And any and all who would love for us to be slaves again are not our friends.
All would do themselves a favor to read of the many men and women who wrote about religious and political freedom. You will never feel sorry about being dfd or shunned again by small minded cretins.
You will instead rejoice "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God I am free at last!"

stevenyc

Dave, my recommendation:

Next time you know you'll meet up with him, prepare yourself THOUGHORLY by consuming copious amounts of hippy food. Lentil curry is my personal favorite. Then, when he's in close proximity, LET RIP LIKE THE GODS!!! and say: 'ignore that you fugger'.

steve

Nina

my father-in-law and uncle-in-law came today to buy some appliances from a friend of ours.

Interesting how shunning never seems to interfere with their willingness to hunt up a bargain.

Nina

atypical

Hey Dave, Cheers to you, buddy!

Sounds like you handled it well; the fact that you were the polite one speaks volumes about the jw mindset. I do agree with jgnat and others who said you should not have to be treated like that in your own house. I like the way jgnat put it, and here's another idea: "You are always welcome in my house, as long as you bring your manners with you."

Reminds me of a great Screeching Weasel song:

So let the sun shine in

And chase away your blues

Cause frowners never win

And smilers never lose

So let the sun shine in

I know it's f*ckin hard

But it's time you finally gotta

Let the sun shine in

Darth Yhwh

Although It's not quite time for me to begin my evening drinking ritual, you can rest assured that when I do indeed crack that first beer of the evening I will tip my can in your honor!

Tigerman

Where does that so called uncle of yours live? I know someone that would love to kick his a__!

This uncle is the kind of person that the world just dosen't need to have around . . .stubborn, narrow, self-absorbed, self-righteous,condemning and overall just a great big pain !

Please give him my message.

Paul

avishai

I'd let your uncle know that if he can't treat you civilly in your place of business, that he can take his business elsewhere. *Just read the post again, tell him if he's gonna be an asshole, don't come around, period.

Shunned on my home turf for the first time!

jgnat

Balsam

blondie

anewme

stevenyc

Nina

atypical

Darth Yhwh

Tigerman

avishai

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