Obituaries for deceased JWs

by Nosferatu 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Nosferatu

  I have been slowly preparing myself for when my JW mother dies. She has diabetes, and she's not taking care of it. She continues to eat and drink heavily sugared foods. It almost seems like she's doing a slow suicide.

  Anyway, when my mother dies, I want to hold a separate gathering from the JWs. My mother wants a JW funeral, so she's going to get it. However, I never want to attend a KH ever again, and all of her immediate family are not JWs. Therefore, I want to hold a separate gathering for myself and the non-JWs.

  What I'm curious about is who takes on the responsibility of writing the obituary? Do the JWs take it upon themselves to write an obituary advertising a KH funeral when there are no other JWs in the family?

  I do not want the JWs to take over the whole thing. They can have their shitty funeral, but I want to give an alternative for those who aren't JWs. That's why I want to write the obituary.
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  vitty

  In our case, the paper will only take obituaries from the undertaker! So who ever organizes the funeral rights out the obituary.

  It may be different where you live, but I think the reason was that the paper were going joke obituaries.
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  cruzanheart

  You PAY for obituaries, so no, the JW's aren't going to take it upon themselves to put anything in the paper. That is the responsibility of the next of kin.

  Nina
• 

  Nosferatu

  You PAY for obituaries, so no, the JW's aren't going to take it upon themselves to put anything in the paper.

  HELLLL YEAH!!!! Screw you WT! I get to write the obituary! Nahh nah nah nahhh nah! Pttttttthhhh :P

  None of this "Mom was a faithful servent of Jehovah who dedicated her life to selling comic books". I'll keep it plain and simple: "A funeral will be held at the Kingdom Hall for Jehovah's Witnesses, while a separate service will be held for those of other faith."
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  willowmoon

  It used to be customary for the funeral arranger or undertaker to submit details to the newspaper (for a "small additional charge" of course) and the newspaper staff would write it. Recently, though, many people are choosing to write their own obits for a family member to submit. Some newspapers will keep them on file and the family just has to notify the paper, or the paper will accept the obit written by the family. Others will accept an "in memorial" article in addition to the standard obit written by the newspaper.

  In my area, all the newspapers have different policies. Talk to the newspaper now, so you're sure on how they handle it when the time comes.

  willow
• 

  cruzanheart

  Nos, I'm sorry about your mom but I applaud your practicality in planning ahead. That's a smart thing to do. Of course, if you really want to piss everyone off you could put something like: "In lieu of flowers, please send donations to Silent Lambs." heheheheheheh.

  Hugs,

  Nina
• 

  Scully

  Nos:

  You've got it backwards, buddy. You write it. You get to highlight what you want. Don't let the JWs upstage you.

  Instead of:

  I'll keep it plain and simple: "A funeral will be held at the Kingdom Hall for Jehovah's Witnesses, while a separate service will be held for those of other faith."

  Try this:

  Funeral arrangements will take place at XYZ Funeral Home on [date, time]. A private memorial service will be held at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. At the family's request, donations to the Canadian Diabetes Association in lieu of flowers are greatly appreciated.

  This way, the onus is on the congregation to inform people of THEIR arrangements... AND the WTS doesn't cash in on your mom's death by one thin dime.
• 

  Snoozy

  When my JW hubby died we had to write the notice. Those things are expensive! What a ripoff for someone that has just lost a loved one...

  Anyway out of respect for him I did mention that he was a Jehovah's Witness and where and when the Memorial would take place.

  I also named all the close relatives and his various hobbies and clubs.

  They sure didn't get top billing so to speak! (The JW's)

  But as I said..I did mention he was a JW out of respect for him...I just didn't go into detail..

  Snoozy Q..
• 

  rebel8

  Around here it's up to the family--they can have private (invitation only) services if they want. The family can have the minister of their choice give a prayer or service, or the funeral home staff will do it. You theoretically could have an elder come by and give a prayer right before the burial, and just invite your family and friends--no dubs. Before that, you could have a minister (or anyone for that matter) conduct a simple service and eulogy. Allowing an elder to say 1 prayer is a reasonable accommodation, considering how objectionable interaction with JWs is, IMHO.

  The way I see it--the dubs should be on the outside looking in, not you. The dubs can have their own little "gathering" at someone's house or at the KH if they want to, independent of the official plans. I can't imagine any reason why it would have to be you that would have a fete on the side. They should be on the side, not you. JMHO

  Everyone is different and there are many ways to do it. I've thought about my own mother and I've decided there's no way in h-e-double-toothpicks I will allow dubs to be the center of it all. I will control what is in the obit, what happens during the services, and who is allowed to come. That's just me.
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  Nosferatu

  The funeral will be held at XYZ Funeral Home on [date, time]. Anyone interested in attending the Memorial Service at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses should contact [PO's phone number] for further details. Donations to the Canadian Diabetes Association in lieu of flowers are greatly appreciated.

  Scully, I love that! Puts the "worldly" location as the priority, and the donations toward something useful.

  You theoretically could have an elder come by and give a prayer right before the burial, and just invite your family and friends--no dubs

  It is my mother's wish to have a JW funeral. I will give her what she wants, but I'm not going to subject all her other family to it. Besides, if JWs want to be "no part of the world", I'll give them that. They'll also get no potential converts.