ballistic,
As I stated there are many causes for depression and, yes some people are born with a chemical imbalance that causes them a life long battle with it. My younger sister who is also an EXJW is one of those people. She considers medicine like Prosak and Lithium to be for amateur crazy people. Every time I turn around she is on a new and sometimes experimental drug. My JW parents attribute her condition to not being a JW and that is as true as saying the opposite applies. I am not one to blame all of life's problems on the JW's in fact I have been ridiculed in my statements about not all JW's are evil and hide pedophiles among their ranks. I believe that most rank and file JW's knows little about the inter-workings of their leaders and organization. My only problem with the average JW is they choose to close their eyes to anything that may come off negative in relation to their religion. Ignorance is a very hard opponent to try and reason with.
I don't know if I will agree that depression is a sickness similar to cancer but not being an expert I will not argue the point. There are many physical and social contributors to depression but I was only concerned in my post with the social ones related to experiences of JW's and exJW's. Something as simple as an unhealthy diet can contribute to depression. To cover even a small list of contributing factors to depression could fill up the entire server space allotted to this forum. I appreciate you bringing up the point you made and I in no way wanted anyone to read my post and come to your suggested conclusion that all their problems with depression are exclusively a result of being at one time a JW. My point was to mention some related factors and maybe help a few draw their own conclusions on the subject.
Danny bearbutt,
Yes, my man, I have done a lot of soul searching and since I started wearing reading glasses I have gone back to a few of my old books stashed in rotting boxes and began to read them again. Being dyslexic reading is quite a chore for me but I love to come to somewhat of an understanding why things are they way they are why people do some things they do by reading thoughts and philosophies on that subject matter as well as coming to some of my own conclusions by experience and observation. That and the fact that if I do this kind of stuff I can keep my mind off of how the economy is destroying a year and a half's work I have done. When things start to turn to shit soul searching and reading are a lot cheeper then the gold package from my local TV cable provider. I had tried dating as a diversion for my worries but in the last few days I have decided that I would rather have a red hot railroad spike driven through my temporal cortex then to get back into that mess again. So, I write a few posts as a diversion. You married guys are lucky, you have your wives to keep your mind occupied in trying to figure what in the hell your doing wrong.
I agree with you about the JW's fixation with death. It's funny, they have this utopian fairy story they claim to believe but the hoops they need to jump through in order to obtain it are either too high or too small for them to really think they can get through them. They seem to be more concerned about one of their so called brothers and sisters properly jumping through the hoops then they are about themselves. Like you it took me many years to try and balance my right ear with my left and a couple of good swift kicks to my head helped in that balancing act. If only politicians could sit on a nation wide television interview and admit they had screwed up in their actions and thinking and ask people to understand that they have had a few problems in their life people might be a little more accepting of the faults of others. As much as the JW's like to disassociate themselves with politicians they seem to both share the ability to dance around subjects with creatively crafted statements that were coached by other people in an attempt to make them look innocent. Hiding and masking has become a real art form in today's society. Well, I guess it has been through out history but now we are blessed by the news media to share that fact with the whole world. I can't wait to see the JW's get a nice big bite on the ass of their organization when their mask is pealed off and the whites of their lying eyes are exposed. The pedophile issue is one thing and the depression issue is another. One step at a time I guess.
Kat,
Isn't it cool to find out that there are a lot of people that are as screwed up as you are. I could write volumes about similar experiences and feelings among the many exJW's I have either met in person or talked to via the phone or Internet. It's a great feeling to know that you are not crazy and that you do have little weird things about you that are shared by many others. The stormy nights use to get to me also. I would go through a little state of panic as I ran through my head all my latest sins to see if I might not make it through Armageddon that I was sure was coming by the end of the storm. Most of my life I have had a real problem with stormy rain clouds. It's no wonder I was so messed up at one time in my life, I live in Oregon and stormy rain clouds are almost a permeant part of the landscape. The fear of dyeing on a daily basis is a real mind f * *k. Luckily after talking to so many exJW's with similar experience I can laugh about it now. A programed mind is a lot of fun to play with once you figure out what station it is on.
Here are a few of my pet fears that I found out were shared by other exJW's when they were still in the religion:
1. Fear of going too far away from my home.
If I did go on a business trip or vacation, when I got there I knew exactly how many miles it was to get back home, how long it would take and the exact route and alternative mode of transportation to get back with.
2. Fear of watching the news on TV.
I rarely watched TV news or read the news paper. Every time I did I tried to relate any bad news to the beginning of Armageddon.
3. Police, ambulance, and fire trucks.
If any of my family members were not home after dark and I heard a siren I just knew it involved a family member and I was going to get a knock on the door or a phone call saying they were dead or injured.
4. Leaving a nonJW family member after a visit.
I always thought that my latest visit with them was going to be the last time I ever saw them alive.
5. Any news what so ever about Russia.
I had to laugh my butt off when the iron curtain came down. I can see the boys in Brooklyn saying "oh shit, now who are we going to call the king of the North and how are we going to convince them their national symbol should be a bear?
Well, those a re just a very few of the little fears I lived with. The other boys and girls can tell about theirs and we can all have a good laugh.
Dave
