Individual,
May you have peace!
I totally understand what you are going through, and what you are feeling.
If I may, I would like to point out that you asked which religion do you go to now.
We who are "looking for truth" aren't supposed to ask "which religion do I go to now?" Nor are we supposed to be asking "Where do I go now?" This is all due to brainwashing of the WTBTS. They ingrained this in us while we were in so that if we EVER do find out they are imposters, we would never find the truth. How so?
When many of the disciples left off from following Jesus, Jesus asked the 12, "Do you want to go also?"
Peter answered: "Lord, WHOM shall we go away to? YOU have the word of everlasting life and we have come to know and believe that you are the Holy One of God."
John 6:66-69
If you look through the Bible, where in the Bible does it say "Look for the 'true religion?' " Or where in the Bible does it say: "Look for a place to go?" In fact, where does the Bible direct us to go "anywhere?"
Our Father said:
"This is my Son, LISTEN TO HIM"
Holy spirit says:
"Today, if you people will HEAR HIS OWN VOICE, do not harden your hearts..."
The scriptures say:
"The law through Moses was a tutor, LEADING us TO CHRIST."
And the Christ says:
"Come to ME all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you. Take MY yoke upon you, and LEARN FROM ME, for I am mild-tempered and LOWLY in heart."
"All who have heard from the Father, and has got the 'sense' of it, COMES to ME."
"I am the bread of life. He that COMES to ME will never get hungry and he that believes in me will never get thirsty at all."
Individual, we were asked, advised, and warned to not put our faith in man, a 'group of men' or even religion. Our faith, our love, our obedience belongs to One. The Christ. And it is Him we are supposed to seek. If you ask for a religion, you will be given a religion, if you ask for a place, you will be given a 'place.' Remember he said:
"Anything you ask me in the name of me, this I will do."
So, if we ask for HIM, we ask for Christ himself, we will get Christ HIMSELF. And once we have him, we will have no need of religion, or men, or a 'group of men' trying to mislead us. We can go directly to Christ and listen to his voice.
Christ offers a free gift (not Watchtower and Awake) of holy spirit which he recieves from his Father. Such spirit comes to live inside you and fills you. By means of that spirit you get to "know" Christ and thus know the "way."
I was once looking through the yellow pages and I asked Jesus "Ok, which one of these billions of religions is the one?" I heard his answer, and he kept repeating:
"I am the way, and the truth and the life."
"I am the WAY, and the TRUTH, and the LIFE."
He also said that when you recieve the free gift of holy spirit, "In that day you will KNOW that I am in union with my Father and you are in union with me and I am in union with you."
today the world beholds him no more, but you who recieve the holy spirit, YOU will behold him. You will see his figure, hear his voice, talk to him, and he talk to you.
All this is available if you indeed wish it. all you have to do is look in your heart, be repentant and ask him out of a 'clean' heart to see and 'know' him. When you DO hear his own voice, "do not harden your heart like at Meribah and as in the day of Massah in the wilderness" like our fathers did.
Believe what you hear, and obey. When you have time, read Psalms 78 and begin preparing your heart to believe and obey Christ alone. christ will hear from his Father, and declare it to you. It is up to you if you want to believe him or not. For he will come to you and he will lead you out of the darkness and into HIS light. All you have to do is hear and obey. The more you obey, the more you hear. The sooner you get out of the Darkness and the closer you get to the Light.
May his peace be upon you, as he guides and directs you. All I am, is your servant in Christ.
Aaron