If your child grew up and became a Witness?

free2beme

I think we all think that our children would never do this, with us being so negative toward the faith. Yet in reality, these children grow to be adults and will make their own choices in time, as to what they want and believe. I wonder though, would we spend all of our time with them trying to explain why we exited and why they should not believe, or would we just come to accept it? I remember one key thing about being a child, I would say what ever made my parents happy. Basically, if you asked me at age twelve what I wanted to be in life, I would respond that I wanted to be a Pioneer. If you really wanted to know the truth though, I would have said I wanted to go to college to be a graphic artist and spend as much time learning as possible. The thing is, my outward response would make my mother happy and support her in thinking she was doing her duty for Jehovah, so that would have been heard. Our children now, are no different. They see parents who were unhappy with the Witnesses and would not say something to support a possible interest, without causing problems, so they would support the thought of "never would I join." Yet life taught me something else, "you never know how your future will unfold, and how it will make you feel about things." So with that, I realize that their is always that chance, although it seems remote, for my child to one day make that decision. If he does and he turns away from all that I have warned him on, well it is his life at that point and all I could do is just accept him. How would you handle it though, would it destroy you or would you just be disgusted about it?

Lady Lee

This has got to be my biggest fear regarding my daughters - that they would go back.

This past Christmas I was relieved when they both told me they saw the JWs as a cult and would never go back. They have forbidden their father from talking to them about it or leaving any literature with them.

They also don't want to talk to me about it. As long as they both see it as a cult I think they are safe.

wombat

Free2beme.

Friend....I tried to read your post but I couldn't. It was too hard.

My eyes got lost between the lines.

Please put in some spaces between thoughts. Make it easy for an old man like me to read.

Short sentances, a paragraph now and then. Otherwise it is a burden to read.

Don't get mad at me.

greendawn

It would never happen, if you give your children a full and proper enlightnent on who the JWs really are even after they grow up they will not find the JWs an attractive proposition. Enlightment is the key otherwise there is a risk that they will get deceived.

freedom96

My son lived with his mother after the divorce, despite his and I wanting to be together. She is still an active witness, and brought him up with that belief system.

It is the only thing that he and I cannot talk about to this day. He is nearly 18 and get along great, except for the religion. He will not allow himself to even consider other options. I hope it changes one day, as it kills me to see him be so narrow minded. There are a lot of reasons why he got so involved, but I can only hope that one day he allows himself to see the real truth.

Until then, I have to be there for him.

Sheryl

We've probably given a lot of thought to this. When my children were born was when I knew I could never feed them a diet of this kind of thinking. My favorite thing to say to them is that "I brought you up to be free"..... One acid test for any group is this: what is like to leave? If you go to an innocuous (more or less) sort of Lutheran/.....religion, you can certainly come and go as you like. You will not be ostracized - no matter what. You can ask any questions without being black listed. You are free. But in the top tier watch out for groups - JW, LDS, Scientologist....just try to leave! You are going to have to suffer some ignominy. Inescapable! They need numbers, money and no bad press please. Freedom is bliss. The internet is bliss. Say what you like. I really enjoy thinking about the department in Brooklyn that monitors this site...... You bet they do. Trying to stay ahead of the game and they're not doing too well. When I was pioneering in 1965...thereabouts...and a friend was in college, I managed to help her mother to get her out.....she wasn't a witness yet....because there just wasn't time to finish college in the 60s. The end was very very near. That poor woman has been a pioneer all these years, I think. And I've been free. That thought causes me great pain.

rowan

what about subjecting the (adult) child to intense cult deprogramming?

free2beme

what about subjecting the (adult) child to intense cult deprogramming?

Sure, if you never want to have a relationship with them ever again. I say "go for it!"

reneeisorym

I think it would be rare for an apostate's child to become a witness. Most of the time it is the religion that makes them not have a relationship with their own grandparents. I know a cousin of mine has two children who think it is so crazy that their grandparents and aunts and uncles never come to visit and they don't have a relationship with them. They grew up knowing mostly the bad things from seeing it first hand that Granny never gave them Christmas presents or ever got them to spend the night with her. I am sure it would hurt to have your entire family disown you to start with and then have your child grow up and do the same thing and be alone once again. I wouldn't think this would happen very often because they know that if they get baptised, they can't speak to their parents.

lonelysheep

I'd be disappointed if they turned to any religion. But I would be there for them and love them either way.

If your child grew up and became a Witness?

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