Do You Still Allow The "Organization" To Affect Your Life?

minimus

Do you stop yourself from doing something you might otherwise do because a Witness is within vision? Does the Watchtower still "watch" you? Does your conscience kick in because the Organization's ideas are still within you???

Big Dog

Not in the least, not in my life anyway. The only way it influences me is what I will and won't say to my family which is 98.9% still in. Obviously I'll refrain from discussing all my holiday plans and the like with them.

Effervescent

Without realizing it, I held on to alot of WT constraints for years and years. I think it took me about ten full years to get deprogrammed all the way so that I didn't have to even think twice before enjoying something that would have been previously taboo.

Like Big Dog said, I just don't discuss my heathen ways with my family who is all mostly "in". It's a little sad to have to have to hold back parts of yourself, but you do what you can for the sake of maintaining whatever relationships you can

unique1

I still can't bring myself to celebrate Christmas. Does that count?

XBEHERE

Sadly yes... I still go to most of the meetings, do all of my assigned talks and go out in service (though I try to avoid as much as possible actual doorbell ringing and talking to people). I find that I am doing all these things not for the same reason I used to, which was basically that I believed it all and thought I was doing good or that I felt guilty if I didnt do them, but its to keep my cover as an upstanding JW to my family and the congregation. I know I am a liar and am not being true to myself but its complicated as I am sure many of you can agreee.. I dont know know how much longer I can last though.

FairMind

Since I still go to meetings the organization does exert a measure of control over my life (beyond the time I spend going to meetings, etc.). Since I don’t smoke, drink, use drugs or engage in extramarital sex these type issues don’t affect me. Things I do that would get me in trouble (like this website and watching a “R” rated movie) I don’t talk about, thus avoiding trouble (although the decision to not talk about these things is an affect).

I was reprimanded severely one time for scheduling an operation and having it without involving the local elders. I figured it was none of their business they felt otherwise. I would like to grow a beard (which I would keep neatly groomed) but won’t do it because of the persecution I would incur.

reneeisorym

I just decided I was going to "come out" in October and I officially became and apostate January 14th, 2006. It is amazing that that mess is coming out of me so quickly. It is probably because I'm only 23.. but then again its all I ever knew too. Celebrating Christmas came so easy to me and it feels great to wear a cross necklace around my neck and bow my head when a "worldly" person prays. I still have trouble with the irrational fear of demons though.

TheListener

They exert influence over my life because they control the life of my family. When I get my family out, their influence will cease.

minimus

I hate to admit it but as long as I'm not df'd, they'll probably have some influence over me.

Brigid

I allow them to influence me in a positive way. I always remember to be honest to a fault (not that all witnesses are honest), but the literature gave good face and good advice on being impeccable when it came to IRS, etc. I am also a decent wife to my husband. I remember some of the good advice about men needing to feel respected, etc. I want to keep what I need, throw out the rest.

As far as fear goes? Not an ounce left! I cavort with witches and pagans on a fairly regular basis. Hang with my hubby at the Synagogue every once in a while. Visit my friends ultra-conservative C of C church. Have a pen pal relationship with a nun. Read Tarot, consult the stars via astrology, watch "demonized" movies--not much I don't do.

I am free.

Great question!

~Brigid

Do You Still Allow The "Organization" To Affect Your Life?

Share this