Is monogamy realistic?

jonjonsimons

Do you believe that humans are capable of complete sexual monogamy?
I believe 100% emotional monogamy is obtainable, but I'm not sure about sexual monogamy. Does gender figure into the equation? Are women or men least likely to remain sexually faithful to their partner, and why? Does sexual orientation figure into the equation? If men are more likely not to remain monogamous, is it that much harder for two gay men to maintain a sexually monogomous relationship? As I've stated above I do believe in the concept of emotional monogamy, ie being in and staying in love with the same person for life.

I posed this question to a group of people in my book club and received responses that varied greatly. One woman in the group agreed with my view that sexual monogamy was not a realistic goal, while one of the men in the group basically told me I was full of shit. I'm not looking for moral judgements but for your thoughts on the concept.

Peace and love to you and yours,
Jon

Stephanus

Yes

JanH

No.

- Jan
--
"People are apprehensive when they meet me. They think I'm going to eat
them. But underneath it all, I'm quite shy." - Freddie Mercury

somebody

jonjonsimons,

Good question and yet a difficult one.

I believe that emotional momogamy puts sexual monogamy in chains. We may not want or wish it to be that way, but that's just the way it is. Makes no differnence in where one is from, culture, gender , or sexual choice.

It's all the same for all of us.

my opinion only.

peace,
somebody

COMF

I doubt it. I brought this up once before, and it generated an interesting thread. You might also be interested in the observations made by Anne Morrow Lindbergh in her book, Gift from the Sea. The references are in the starting post of this old thread.

--> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=4864&site=3#57668

COMF

(edited to make the URL into a link)

Zep

Yes and No

Sort of...

Well....definitely not if your under 30

Who really cares anyway. Sex is so over-analysed these days. All these sex therapists writing in Newspaper & Magazine columns and appearing on those damned yankee talk shows. Tantra this...Kama Sutra that.. Its pretty tiresome all this sex and relationship talk, gone way too far.I mean hey, it sells magazines, but Doesn't seem to be helping much....people seem to just as neurotic about sex as ever.Though, granted, the situation is definitely better than a fundie approach to sex and relationships. Now that is insane

Whats the big deal about sex anyway. You stick it in, wiggle it about, blow your load. Its great fun...and even more fun when your drunk and with someone you dont know.

zev

heres my 2 cents....

yes.
i have been through hell and back .

i should have been the first to stray. my emotional make up says, i can't do that. so till the time comes when my 18+ years is over, i will continue to lead a celelbate, though sexless life.

it is possible. is it normal?

define normal.

-Zev
-August 8th, 2001 - The day the lambs ROARED

patio34

In the book, "The Third Chimpanzee" Jared Diamond makes the point that based on animal studies and studies of the history of humans, that we are MOSTLY monogamous. As are a lot of other creatures.

Pat

teejay

Jon,

Do you believe that humans are capable of complete sexual monogamy? Yes.

Does gender figure into the equation? Sometimes.

Are women or men least likely to remain sexually faithful to their partner, and why? Men. Hormones.

Does sexual orientation figure into the equation? If men are more likely not to remain monogamous, is it that much harder for two gay men to maintain a sexually monogomous relationship? It varies (I guess)

As I've stated above I do believe in the concept of emotional monogamy, ie being in and staying in love with the same person for life. Interesting hypothesis. Many things are humanly possible. It's possible to live on chef salad, but who'd want to? I'd think a better question would be: is it likely for the average person?

I posed this question to a group of people in my book club and received responses that varied greatly. One woman in the group agreed with my view that sexual monogamy was not a realistic goal, while one of the men in the group basically told me I was full of shit. I'm not looking for moral judgements but for your thoughts on the concept.

It does not surprise me that you would get varied answers to your questions since people are different. Even when the same person answers, life situations change, different viewpoints develop while others become obsolete. There are no absolute, one-size-fits-all answers to questions like this.

tj

Kat_

Yes. I believe not only some, but many humans, are capable of complete sexual monogamy. I actually think it's very easy for some. Then again, it's just the opposite for other people. It depends on who you are asking. I agree with teejay...there is simply no solid answer to this.
My $.02

Kat

Is monogamy realistic?

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