FREEDOMLOVER: update with my dad

by freedomlover 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    hope you are all well.

    If you have been following the soap-opera of my life and the letter I wrote my dad then you may be interested in the latest.

    My dad has been here visiting and we had a good long talk yesterday about my letter and what has brought me to the decision to leave the org. He listened to everything I had to say and AGREED with everything I had to say. His own doubts arose when he became an elder and got a clearer picture of the abusive tactics that are used on the sheep. He also has big problems with the sexual rules that the GB has. He also said that when the Dateline episode came out he knew it was a cover up by the WT and it's bothered him to this day. The poor guy, he really feels like he needs to stay in the org. and be an elder again because he realizes how many people are being abused by abusive elders. He kind of wants to reform things from the inside out. We reasoned on that for awhile and he finally did say " you can't change the vast majority of men in this org." I really tried to stress where the blame needs to lie. Not with individual elders who are complete asses sometimes, but with the men who give these abusive men power and then let them destroy lives with this power. I also tried to get him to ask himself at what cost to himself was he willing to carry on such a crusade. He and my stepmom are suffering physical and emotional problems from being witnesses. I do think he is thinking differently about the GB today.

    We covered everything from 607 ( he wants to look at the info. I found, for his own peace of mind he said) to the scriptures about the GB's supposed authority, to Jesus saying the helper was the holy spirit, not an organization, to the secular education changes, to what Russell was REALLY saying that would happen in 1914, to individual cases he has sat in on and some of the horrible outcomes that he still has to live with. I am still unpacking but I told him when I unpacked my research I would send him some and he can look at these things himself. I want to give him some days to digest the conversation and then send a little info to him at first. ( please don't bombard me with all the things some of you think I need to send right away.) I feel he will do better with little bits at a time.

    Later that night, we went to dinner and he said to me " I just want you to know I will never shun you, I just won't do it. (then shaking his head he said) I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this. being a witness."

    Everything went so well. It's still nerve wracking but I at least know he will still be in my life no matter what, and that's all I really wanted anyway. I am truly happy it's been so great with him, because I also spoke with my best friend and that's been a nightmare. She is threatening to turn me in by this weekend so I've had to do some damage control to put her fire out so I can get through my brother's wedding in 3 weeks without anyone questioning me while I'm there. Eh, you win some, you lose some.

    thanks for letting me share this with you all.

  • cyberdyne systems 101
    cyberdyne systems 101

    I've been following your threads on this and I must say its turned out pretty good so far! I guess only time will tell if he eventually wishes to turn his back on the organisation, but his talking to you has certainly given him food for thought on it. Well done you!

  • jaredg
    jaredg

    things just seem to be getting better and better for you guys. first it was you husband trying to shot you the "light" and now that you are free it looks like your dad will be coming along right after you. i'm so jealous!!

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC


    This is great news FL. Makes me wonder how many people are in the org that feel like he does. Your brave, honesty is paying off.

  • unique1
    unique1

    That is wonderful!!!! It gives us all a little hope. I hope it all works out.

  • slugga
    slugga
    Later that night, we went to dinner and he said to me " I just want you to know I will never shun you, I just won't do it.

    I hope you gave him a great big hug for saying that.

    :)

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover
    Later that night, we went to dinner and he said to me " I just want you to know I will never shun you, I just won't do it.

    I hope you gave him a great big hug for saying that.

    :)

    he he, yeah, Slugga I did give him a big hug and told him how much that meant to me. He can't even comprehend how important that is to me.....

  • Goldminer
    Goldminer

    Hi Freedomlover,

    I followed your husband's story on jwd last year and it was by far the one I enjoyed most.I have been unsuccessful in showing the errors of the WTS to my wife;she is one of those who are in extreme denial no matter how much factual evidence is presented.

    Two weeks ago,my father came over and told me he was quitting the jw's.I was so excited that my perseverance had paid off. Then a few days later he told me he was going to keep going to the meetings and tough it out.What a blow! A week later they promoted him to MS!!!!! oh well...

    I'm very happy for you and hope things work out.Take your time and let him digest the information slowly.My bet is he'll be out of there within a year. Say HI to Ithinkisee for me.Have anice day.

    Goldminer

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    thanks goldminer. I have had that thought in my head too. My dad may never leave and honestly I'm cool with that because he won't shun me or my family. sorry for you crushing blow. maybe your dad just needs some more time. It will be easier for him to leave if/when he does knowing he has you still.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat
    Later that night, we went to dinner and he said to me " I just want you to know I will never shun you, I just won't do it.

    Good for him FL. Good for him!

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