I Never BELONGED in the BORG, Did You?

BoozeRunner

In recent years, I have come to the realization that I never REALLY beonged in the WTS. You see, I was born into the religion, so therefore it was all I ever knew.

But as I have examined my inner self, I realize that I simply dont have what it takes to be a witness. I am NOT judgemental, dont think that by some special grace of God that I am entitled to a better destiny than other humans-I never felt that way.

I once left (inactive) the "troof" for nearly 8 years or so. I bowed to family urgings to return.

I have always had a "live and let live" attitude when it comes to others.

Unfrtunately, the "troof" did have a detrimental effect on my development as an adult during my formative years. I am glad I have bee able to deal with those effects and turn them into positives as I continue to grow-THAT is the key, continuing to grow as a person.

I love life, people and all that is offered on this earth to our benefit.

So, I wonder, does ANYONE else feel as if they NEVER belonged in the Borg. Of course, no one belongs in a destructive cult, but do you feel as if you are simply not the kind of person to exist as a JW?

Boozy

CornerStone

Hello B.R.,

I never felt I "belonged" to the association of JW's because everything was just sooo conditional! Charity was a concept only reserved for "spiritualy strong" individuals, i.e. making all the brainwashing sessions, er.., I mean, the meetings and plenty of watchtower sales, um.., field service, that is. :)

I showed my love for my brothers and sisters by volenteering for everything that needed to be done. I had no idea that in their minds my gift of love was perverted, that it was realy a "privilege" for me to help with the duties in their eyes. So when I started the evil "question asking" thing about blood and disfellowshipping they gradually began releaving me of priviliges and I saw with eyes of understanding how VERY conditional EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING, even love, was to the borg.

Funny, true to borg of Star Trek fame, even love is irellevent.

So, there is realy no "belonging" to such a group who will treat you like snot on a used tissue at the drop of a dime. Ofcourse, there are JW's whose lives are well intergrated into the org way of doing things but they live under an illusion. And they find that out when they make a mistake and require the orgs "loving provisions", i.e., elder kindness and love. Yeah right! Good luck!

Puke!

Puke!!

PUKE!!!

Boy, just saying those words realy cleaned me out!

CornerStone

BoozeRunner

Cornerstone....so true-CONDITIONAL LOVE. Since when did that become the mark of "true" Christians???

Boozy

Tina

(((((boozy))))))))))))
I now what you mean here.
Growing up I never felt comfortable with the 'trooth'.
As an adult(after the honeymoon post-baptism phase) felt the same. Like wearing an ill-fitting pair of shoes. There was so much that I had a hard time accepting.
Like you I was born into it. I call it social heredity. It (or I) never 'fit' my personality.Struggling to fit made my life miserable.
I only lasted 3 yrs after baptism.......luv,T

thinkers wife

Absolutely!! I find this out more and more the longer I am out! I just never fit in. I was always a free spirit, and it brought the elders ire down on my head many times! I couldn't handle judging people and categorizing them.
And some of the doctrines bothered me too, although I kept that to myself. And the amount of abuse in the org. always bothered me as well. Especially the way it was covered up.
Couldn't handle special treatment for some and others getting the shaft.
Alot of it just made no sense to me!
TW

Tina

Hi TW!
Sounds like we were/are sisters under the skin here!
Same here-Elder,'Tina,that's running ahead'.
Me: How is that.I don't see it that way?'
Elder:(reading scrips on headship.'blah blah blah'.
Me: I want to further my education.
Elder: 'Are you putting KINGDOM interests first,Tina?'
(more scrips) blah blah blah...........
Yep,classism is alive and well in the Wts. It's not what you know but who you know that made the difference. That bugged me as well. hugs,Tina

patio34

Hi BoozeRunner,

This is an interesting idea! I became a JW as an adult. But after many years, did feel out-of-place. I thought it was a weakness of faith, as the WTS constantly points out.

A lot of the friendships seemed forced and superficial. It's true that it was hard to like a lot of those folks! And, I have to be candid, some of them were not very smart.

Not being smart could be part of the appeal, because a person can FEEL very 'educated' by none other than the supreme being!

'Get-togethers' often made me feel much worse as it was so forced: 'all right, we're all supposed to love one another, so let's act like it and have fun!'

Thanks for bringing this up.

Pat

BoozeRunner

Hi Patio....accusations of "weak" faith is the way the Org tries to keep folks in line.
In any other atmosphere, if a person decides that its just not for him/her, they just walk away, and are left alone. The Org tries very hard to keep its members-even by "sacrificing" so-called "weaker ones" to scare others into submission.
True cult tactics.

Boozy

joelbear

I belonged in that I shared the vision of a world where everyone got along and there was peace.

I didn't belong in that I always wanted freedom to think, feel and believe and behave (without hurting others) as I wanted.

BoozeRunner

Joel, John Lennon had the same vision!!! :-)

Boozy

I Never BELONGED in the BORG, Did You?

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