My Story

by witnessscorn 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • witnessscorn
    witnessscorn

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks for the responce I got about hereing my story.

    I have never used a discussion forum before, so I just figured out that you responded to my message about hearing my story.

    Here goes. But I worn you it's long.

    I was raised around the religion, parants baptized when I was seven. They were very strict, as were the elders in the congregation. My parants are completely devoted to them. THey delt with the blood issue when we were very young because they were told that my little brother needed a transfusion as a baby.

    I was repetedly falsly accused by the elders and on some occasions it was started by my parents.

    17 I was seeing sister and we were getting very close. Well one day I went to go out in service with her cong. The elder told her and I to work together. Being the good christian brother that I was I spoke up and told the brother that we probably should have somone work with Carol and I so that we wouldn't be alone.

    That night she called me and told that she had been repreved, and the elders told her that she couldn't see me anymore. My parents flipped and they talked to the elders about it. They counceled me, but Wasn't baptised yet so couldn't do anything.

    Next year was baptised Started seeing another sister that I grew up with. her dad was elder and my parents friends so they didn't care even though she was very "adventuraous". When I refused to go as far as she wanted, she broke up with me saying that she wanted to pioneer and put personal life on hold. Funny a year later she was pregnant from a local Baptist preacher.

    I went to a trade school which the elders didn't like. While there I met my wife who happened to be a sister. As we got more and more serious the elders didn't like that I was dateing and going to school rather then pioneering. They didn't care that I was looking for a marriage mate.

    I wanted out of the house my mother was very hard on us. She was sexually molested as a kid along with physical and emotion abuse. The abuse carried over to her parenting skills and so I was very timid and lacked self confdence. She home schooled me through highschool and hid us from the world so I had no idea how to deal with people.

    At this point since I was baptised the elders decided to reprove me. Remeber that means that you could be baptised but were repentant. Yes that was me oh your right I was wrong although I didn't know what I was wrong about.

    I still didn't let it stop me we ended up getting married.

    Later years into the marriage my wife and mother started haveing problems and I was threatened by the eleders if didn't get the situation under control. The elders accused me of neglecting my family because I did not live in a big house and drove an old used paid for car.

    I moved away from my home town to get away from my parents and the elders that still thought of me as a child.

    In the mean time my brother contract leukemia. Of course he decide to allow himself to die rather then have a blood transfusion, leaving behind a 4 year old daughter. He had written a suicide letter about a year earlier but didn't do it. He found an easy way out thinking that he could get away from his unhappy marriage. He belived that he would die and be resurected to paridise earth.

    I moved back close to home. While I was in the new congregation, the elders accused my wife of adultury, of course that was done through me because they are not supposed to go around the head of the household. At the same time they accused me of wife swapping. Also neglecting my family again, because I had an old car that I was fixing up. So they assumed that Iwas spending my time and money on toys. I was 1400 miles away on a bussiness trip when this happened, and heard about it second hand. so I called the PO and set up my own commitee meeting to face my accuser. This time I didn't just take it I put the elder in his place.

    My sister was now trying to get married to man who was not "scripturally" free to get married. I was helping her to prove that he was. Was shunded by my parents and threatened by the elders for helping her. Once we found the proof they didn't care that my parents had broken in to my sisters house with my children with her. And got into a domestic dispute in public in front of my children. Nore did they care that we had staulked his exwife and hurassed her to find their proof. They only cared that their traditions be met.

    I then moved here. We got our children into sports, of course the elders didn't like that, and tried to make us stop.

    Since then I have started going to a theropist for sleep issues. He told me that my life was not normal, and he would have to report my parents child protective services because of physical and emotional abuse If I were still a minor. Now I just started remembering that I was sexuually abused by a brother and it was hidden from me.

    Now that I have stopped going to meetings and have started talking to all of you, my new friends, I have began to find happiness.

    That's the short version. Some of it may seem minor but I have had enough of it. Now that I have started thinking for myself and researching outside the JWs I have strated seeing the real truth, and am happier then ever.

  • anewme
    anewme

    Thinking for yourself and making your own decisions will always result in more happiness.

  • jaffacake
    jaffacake

    Hi

    Thanks for sharing your story (short version). I'm sure it will help others as well as yourself to talk about it.

    My only advice is to keep unlearning that falsehood you've been 'fed'. But take it one step at a time. You will get support from some great folks on this discussion board. Take care and please stick around.

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    None of that sounds minor witnesscorn. It really is a tragic story. I'm glad you're here, healing.

  • onesong
    onesong

    Welcome Witnessscorn!!!

    You've come a long way and it sounds like you have quite a bit ahead of you with your therapy and uncovering events from your past.

    I hope the best for you. It can be painful peeling away the layers and really seeing just what this religion has done to you. Be brave and trust your own divinity. Your happiness and freedom has just begun!!!!

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Hi Witnesscorn,

    Your story is sad, but you can create a happy middle and ending for it. I wish you the best on your journey.

  • freedomlover
    freedomlover

    thanks for sharing Witnesscorn. You've been through a lot. It will take time but you are on the right road to start healing and truly living your life!

    freedomlover

  • deeskis
    deeskis

    welcome

    I hope that you find some peace and that your family learns of another way.

    best wishes

    D

  • sass_my_frass
    sass_my_frass

    Well done witnesscorn, it's great to have you here with us. Sadly, it sounds like such a normal story from where I am.

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Witnesscorn,

    Thanks for sharing your story, It is hard and all of us can identify with the stuff you are going through. I remember well when my oldest son was harrassed for having too short of a hair cut. He was working outdoors building houses and had his head shaved very close because of the NC hear. The Elders accused him of looking like a skin head. Weird thing was that a married brother in our congregation wore his hair exactly the same way and my son pointed it out to the Elders and they said well he is married it's ok. The reasoning and logic of their arguments was so tortured and bizarre, it really made wonder. The rules were more important that love. Thankfully I and my sons are free. You will start sleeping much better, keep working on freeing yourself from the WTS demons.

    Balsam

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit