Cathartic Finish to Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws 43 Replies latest jw experiences

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  serendipity

  ((( Steve )))
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  dinah

  This may not make you feel much better, Steve, but I can remember being very drunk and very suicidal. If I had gone through with it, I don't believe I would have felt a thing. Thank Jehovah for my children. They are what kept me here until I could get a grip.

  Jehovah does give us what we need. (Actually I kinda think Christ is helping us right now-but that another debate). Before I go to bed tonight I will remember you in my prayers, Steve. May you have peace.

  And isn't it great to find folks who UNDERSTAND! and don't JUDGE!??

  Steve, if anything, Mark's story has made me stop and think that we have to take care of each other as humans. I would say "as Christians" but some here are not, and I love them too. Be assured that Mark's pain was felt by Christ as well. I believe He will put an end to all this nonsense----eventually.
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  freedomlover

  I'm so sorry for your loss. These are the stories that make you realize how damaging the WTS is to people and their families. I'm truly sorry for you. I think Mark would be very proud of you today for seeing your way through all the haze and coming to the conclusions you have. In this way you are honoring him and his memory.
  
  -freedomlover
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  myself

  ((((((((((((((Steve)))))))))))
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  toreador
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  jst2laws

  Surrep and Myself,

  It has been a long time. Hope all is well with you too. Hugs back to Myself

  Serendipity, hugs back to you too.

  Dinah,

  "And isn't it great to find folks who UNDERSTAND! and don't JUDGE!??"

  Yes, while I thought Mark's life story might help others I have also told the story for my own benefit. I knew people here would be understanding and the process has have been more helpful then expected.

  Freedomlover,

  Thankyou and yes, I agree with you.

  Steve
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  rmayer32

  Very sorry to hear about your brother. :( I can only imagine how horrible that must have been.
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  James Free

  He died believing the JW's had the truth and that he was sh*t in Jehovah's eyes.

  Your story was very sad. There are many people in the Org. that are made to fel that way. Even those who do their best in the Org. can feel like that. 'Pioneer' pressure talks often pursuade those not able to do it that what they manage is not enough in God's eyes.

  In the UK, so many began to claim they had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome because they needed a label that would excuse them from the criticism that others in the congregation would make if they were unable to cope with the endless presures within the Org.

  I always considered the life in the Org. seemed to contradict Jesus' words that his load was light. But we were always told it was even worse in the 'world' so in that way it was lighter.

  Now I am out of all that I can see this excuse was nonsense. The pressures and subsequent feeling of worthlessness and depression that affects so many Witnesses is a direct result of the Org.'s unbalanced approach to worship - meetings and ministry, being SEEN, rather than developing a genuine relationship with the Creator and developing the 'fruitages of the spirit'.

  The GB is misguided and the resulting suffering caused by their direction is incalculable.
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  jst2laws

  James Free,

  Welcome to the board. It's great to see new folks come on and quickly relate to the discussions.

  Even those who do their best in the Org. can feel like that. 'Pioneer' pressure talks often pursuade those not able to do it that what they manage is not enough in God's eyes.

  So true, and I think you are right about the fad of disorders that went around to

  excuse them from the criticism that others in the congregation would make if they were unable to cope with the endless presures within the Org.

  Here in the US one of the early ones was hypoglycemia, then CFS, depression, corpal tunnel syndrome as well as others. Or did the pressure of trying to be good enough actually induce symptoms of these diseases? At the same time we must acknowledge that there were many truly ill with such diseases and that guilt was placed on them by those who suggested they weren't really sick)

  Hope to hear more from you.

  rmayer,

  Thanks for you thoughts.

  Steve
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  James Free

  At the same time we must acknowledge that there were many truly ill with such diseases and that guilt was placed on them by those who suggested they weren't really sick

  How true, you just could not win either way. Judging each other is part of JW culture.