Disposable People

by MerryMagdalene 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo
    Don't have a well-honed skill to contribute to any particular community, am not much of a sociable people-person, I've made a lot of dumb-ass mistakes and done regrettably selfish things, and I'm not terribly witty or humorous or beautiful...



    some of my best songs have been written with you...

    and i have a band of teenagers that love playing them...and a crowd of all ages that love listening

    ((((((mm)))))

    (an unconscious New Year's resolution to be a better JW?),

    oh the irony

  • Honesty
    Honesty

    You ARE witty and humorous, Merry. And You're beautiful on top of all that.

  • Billygoat
    Billygoat
    Anyone reading this pester Merry to post some of her drawings for us.

    Merry, being an artist myself, I'd love to see your work!!! (Although photography is my current choice of medium, pencil and paint were my first loves.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Thank you, Emma, for your caring response. It reminds me that there are many here I am not very familiar with yet at all. So I now get to notice you and read your bio and be introduced to one more special, insightful person. For anyone else who hasn't yet had the privilege either:
    I was an active witness for aproximately forty years. My mother and sib's are still very much in the org. Instead of da'ing myself, I slowly disappeared. When I left, it was no single event that moved me but the inability to continue. The judging and negativity weighed heavily on me and had for many years; I couldn't keep it up. My decision to leave was my own and I didn't read "apostate" literature or talk to those who had left. It's only recently that I've been visiting the "Freeminds" site, and I just picked up Ray Franz's book from the library yesterday. I find it interesting to be updated for the first time on what's happening in the wts (I won't ask as I will not be witnessed to!) and that the "faithful" are still slogging on. Thank you for sharing the things you are now doing, Joelbear. Those are truly helpful ideas. I think of you often and appreciate what you bring to this forum, on good days and bad.

    Aww, Skyman, I love you too, you sweetie. You have a wonderful and absolutely indisposable family!!! And shut up about the drawings will yaLOL IP_SEC, Interesting image of disposability! And in regards to my mom--I think the shunning actually hurts her even more than it does me, to be honest. It really rips her up. And she does it anyway, why? She's afraid of losing Gods love? I want to grab her and shake her and say, "God's love is not in all these dishonest books and endless meetings and futile door-knocking...it's right here in these eyes and these arms and these words. It's in me. So don't throw that away!" Best wishes for you with your mom! ~Merry
  • seattleniceguy
    seattleniceguy

    Merry,

    and I'm not terribly witty or humorous or beautiful...

    Well, I don't know you so I can't comment on the last item, but I think you are terribly witty and humorous. I enjoy reading your posts. You're a clever and insightful writer.

    I know I can't help straighten things out with your mom, but I hope that helps in the self-esteem department a little!

    SNG

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC
    I'm not terribly witty or humorous or beautiful...

    Whhhhaaaa????? Kidding right? I had a crush on that face for a long time.

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    ai yi yi...I've created a monster...this was not meant to be the focus of my post--

    Don't have a well-honed skill to contribute to any particular community, am not much of a sociable people-person, I've made a lot of dumb-ass mistakes and done regrettably selfish things, and I'm not terribly witty or humorous or beautiful...

    but thanks for making me brush the tears from my eyes while laughing and crying. You all are just too lovable. It was the rest of the post that had the "important" bits, ok? (((((hugs to all of ya)))))

    ~Merry

  • codeblue
    codeblue

    (((Merry)))

    Your post sure made me think. You have exposed a lot of my emotions as well.

    Being raised as a JW certainly for as a woman, didn't do much to build my self esteem. I was never good enough!

    I thought I was doing a HUGE life saving work, and I guess that made me feel a sense of "self worth". All my real talents had to be banished to be a "spiritual person". So after fading, and still NOW trying to piece my life together and make some sense of it, I am still floundering like a fish out of water.

    ... Now what?

    I have come to the conclusion that life doesn't have to be that "big". That being a good person and helping your neighbors or a complete stranger, making a difference in their life is JUST AS IMPORTANT...maybe more so.

    I have an neighbor that calls me her "angel". She is going thru a divorce and has no family here. WE have become like sisters and are great friends. I have went thru a divorce and wonderd WHY me....now I know, WHY me? I have the experience and know coping strategies that many people don't have and the compassion and empathy for others that go thru this experience.

    The people on this board have been HIGHLY supportive to me and I REALLY appreciate it!....I use to LIVE on this board the first 2 years I started posting!!!

    Merry, you aren't alone and never will be, despite the fact your family are shunning you. Keep posting and sharing your thoughts.

    Remember: Your posts make a difference in someone's life........ and to me, that is what makes living worthwhile!

    Smile...and have a great day!

    Codeblue

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    :: You ARE witty and humorous, Merry. And You're beautiful on top of all that.

    I'll second that. And from everything I've read from your posts you seem like a really wonderful, caring person too. Tijkmo has bragged to me about your talent with helping him with songs and from hearing them I can see you have quite alot to offer.

    :: Anyone reading this pester Merry to post some of her drawings for us.

    I would love to see some of these drawings skyman talks about.....

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    I don't personally know you but from your posts I can see that you are a person of substantial talent and I am sure that with your creativity you can contribute a lot to society. Life is short and must be lived to the full.

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