Being Popular

Stephanus

I know what it is to be popular. Well, to be totally honest, I know what it is to be unpopular, and I know that it feels really bad. I therefore assume that being popular would feel really good! Comments?

larc

Stephanus,

I don't know what you are getting at. Anybody who has lived beyond the age of of three has experienced both the feeling of being popular and unpopular. If I can respond to your thread here, you are going to have focus in a little bit more. At what time in the developemental cycle of the homosapian is your point of reference? What cultural and other environmental factors do we have to take into consideration. First and foremost, why are you here?

Jim Lad

Stephanus:

What is it that compels you to spend so much time on this board when you aren't or ever were a JW? (If I read you right).

Just curious.

Prisca

Hi Steph,

As your friend, may I suggest this:

Turn off the computer.
Get a beer (or if it's too cold, get a good strong cup of coffee.)
Drink it.
Play with your kids, or help your wife get dinner ready.
Eat and enjoy dinner with them.

Your popularity with these people who are most closest to you is far more important than what anyone on this DB thinks of you. Just remember that.

Stephanus

I remember a New Year's Eve party where all the young people from my church group attended. One young lady decided to get all depressed and negative, not long before midnight. As one who had gone through a bit of a conversion experience and had realised that there was no mileage from anyone's point of view in being a wet rag, I had a go at her and told her to snap out of it and get with the programme and not drag everyone else down. Everyone attacked me as a hypocrite. They told me what a depressive bastard I was and how dare I counsel her otherwise! I crawled away and felt: this is just how important I am to all these people! I wanted to die - I seriously contemplated slitting my own throat - I'd never felt such rejection before! That young lady went on to reject the church and joined a bikie gang and later was killed in a bike accident - I've yet to receive an apology from those who rejected me in her favour, 16 years later!

Actually, I did receive such rejection (on a monumental scale) one time before. I went to a church young peoples' camp. On the last day of that camp, the leader of the Young Peoples' group had a bright idea: we'll all pray for one another! However, it had a twist: he would pray for someone, who would pray for someone else who would then pray for someone else. The last person would pray for Bob (the young peoples' leader). I thought: Great! (not realising just how hated I really was), Person after person prayed for every other person but me (about 70 young persons were at that camp). When the last person thought that they were the last who mattered prayed, they prayed for Bob. Bob realised I'd been left out entirely and prayed for me (God bless Bob - he never liked me much, but he really tried to be fair to me - too bad those other bastards never had that attitude!) I lasted 6 years in that religion - long enough to see many of those who hadn't prayed for me and left me out of the circle of those-who-mattered leave and turn their backs on God forever, while I slogged loyally (if never spectacularly) on. When I finally left, it was to marry my white-witch wife (who later became a Christian because of my influence). I was rejected by even my best friend; I was to be best man at his wedding, but because of my current girlfriend (later my wife), he entertained doubts, fueled by those who were advising him ("You don't want Satan represented at your wedding, do you?", they said) Fortunately, for once in his life he followed through with one of his promises and made me best man. He died at the age of 37. I still miss him

Yes, I'm unpopular. Unfortunately, I'm me, and I'm the only me I can be. I'm sorry if that offends you!

Stephanus

You're wrong LARC; I've never known the feeling of being popular. I try to be as truthful as possible - are you calling me a liar. Read my previous post to this thread if you don't belive me!

Prisca:

Too late! I've already consumed the contents of a bottle of wine. Getting sober won't change anything - the past events I outlined are absolutely true, whether I'm sober or not. I just wish they weren't! I hate my life, just as most of my so called friends have hated it. Even my family only invite me to family gettogethers out of loyalty!

Logical, it's the first time in a long time I've felt like you do! Welcome to the club, I suppose!

Stephanus

Jim Lad:

As you can see from the above, I was involved in my own abusive religion. I can identify with the kind of spiritual abuse that Dubs have been through. That's why!

larc

Stephanus,

I am sorry for the things that happened to you. Perhaps, after what you have admitted about the sadness you feel, we will be better able to understand you and accept you. This is a good place and I think you know that. Otherwise, I don't think you would have had the courage to tell us what you just did. I, for one, are glad you are with us. I wish you the best, and I mean that with all of my heart.

larc

Stephanos,

I know this is a very important time to talk further. I will talk more tomorrow, but right now, I am very tired amd must go to sleep. My thoughts are with you, and I know the thoughts of many others are with you also.

Stephanus

Thanks Larc! I've only posted this stuff because the alcohol has loosened my tongue. Normally I wouldn't bring it up - stiff upper lip and all that! Sorry for letting it all loose - it won't happen again.

So many of my friends from that past are now dead - the girl who died in the bike accident, a guy I flatted with for a few years who swam out to sea, another guy I flatted with who died of a blood clot and two guys I flatted with who died of heart attacks. The last three died within two years of each other, all under 40 years of age - my wife jokes that she'd bever experienced death until she met me! Oh well, life goes on (in a sense!), I suppose.

Being Popular

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