Religion makes people smart!

by Kent 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Kent
    Kent
    Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture


    by Elroy Willis

    ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sun roof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.

    Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

    "She started screaming "He's back!, He's back!" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

    "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Willams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

    "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

    Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium which then floated up into the sky.

    Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

    When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

    ..................................................................

    It's absolutely clear! What we need is MORE real religious people - and more cars!

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between a fool and the JW legal department is that a fool might be sympathetic ."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • funkyderek
    funkyderek

    Funny but not true: http://www.snopes2.com/religion/rapture.htm

    --
    Those who can induce you to believe absurdities can induce you to commit attrocities - Voltaire

  • bboyneko
    bboyneko

    Funky Derek, thank you for your research. Here is a funny and TRUE story about religion and brains..no pun intended:

    God's Gun

    Florida Times-Union, Oct 3, 1998

    JACKSONVILLE, FL--Melvyn Nurse came from a world of drugs and guns before finding God and Jacksonville's Livingway Christian Fellowship Church 13 years ago. But even after starting his new life, he never forgot.

    Thursday, the youth minister died from injuries resulting from a self-inflicted gunshot wound--an accidental death that came from efforts to educate today's youth that guns kill. It was a powerful message left ringing in the ears of all who attended.

    For this, church members are proclaiming him a hero.

    "He said, 'I want you to hear it [the discharge]. You single mothers, if somebody's fooling you and somebody has this, your babies could get a hold of it,'" Associate Pastor Michael Cooper recalled of the lecture. "I believe he was in the same mind-frame as I was, that you don't get hurt using blanks."

    Nurse had dry-fired the .357-caliber revolver several times after inserting one blank into the chamber and spinning the cylinder. He fired the gun into the ceiling once and put it down on a podium and continued his metaphorical message about weapons, drugs and dangerous games people play--like Russian roulette.

    At the end of the 30-minute presentation last week, Nurse grabbed the gun again, this time putting it to his head and squeezing the trigger. His body collapsed behind the podium in front of a congregation of 200, including his wife and four daughters.

    "He was out of sight, and everybody was waiting. We thought it was part of the demonstration," Cooper said. "I got up and saw it was real."

    Nurse, 35, was taken to University Medical Center, where he remained in critical condition until his death Thursday afternoon.

    "He was trying to convey a point that sin leads to death," said Associate Pastor Charlie Freeman. "Brother Nurse is a hero. What makes him a hero is his love for young people and seeing great change in young people and turning them from the direction they're going in."

    For this, church members are proclaiming him a hero.

    But local gun enthusiasts say Nurse's death was needless, the result of his lack of education.

    "Every firearm should be treated as though it's loaded," said Mark Finnell, a salesman at Southside Gun & Pawn. "It was a lack of knowledge in this situation that caused this serious tragedy."

    Cooper said Nurse, an apartment complex maintenance supervisor, had visited gun ranges and was aware of the danger. But neither pastor knew that a blank bullet could be just as damaging as the real thing.

    The force of the shot shattered Nurse's skull.

    "It just doesn't make any sense to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger, whether it's loaded or not," Finnell said. "I would have stopped him if I could have taken the gun out of his hands."

    Cooper said Nurse never planned to point the barrel at his head. He planned on firing it over his head, but his aim was off.

    Regardless, Cooper said the church and the Nurse family would go on. He said it's not up to anyone to question God's motives.

    For now, he said all they can do is stop asking why and focus on the good it accomplished.

    "After the demonstration it was 3-D. It was impounded in them, and you will never forget that. There's no way you could ever forget this message," Cooper said. "Guns, as he said, are dangerous no matter who uses them."

    Funeral arrangements were unavailable last night.

    AFTERWORD:

    Contrary to popular belief, as evidenced above, blank ammunition can kill at close range. When discharged, a hard cardboardlike wad shoots several feet from the barrel. Blanks are by far most often used on Hollywood movie sets, the settings for two of the prop's most famous fatalities.

    On October 12, 1984, model-actor Jon-Erik Hexum playfully put a blank-loaded pistol to his head on the set of the TV spy show "Cover Up." The concussion forced fragments of his skull into his brain, and he died six days later.

    More notably, on March 31, 1993, Brandon Lee, son of 70's martial arts star Bruce Lee, was killed during the filming of "The Crow." Lee's death was a bit more complicated. Unbeknownst to the propmaster, the stunt gun that killed Lee had misfired during a previous scene, lodging a slug in the barrel. The gun was reloaded with blanks and fired at Lee. The blank charge was enough to deliver the waiting slug. Lee died 13 hours later.

    Almost predictably, these circumstances, coupled with the strange event of his famous father's untimely death, have some of Lee's fans suspecting murder.

    moron.......

  • Kent
    Kent

    LOL, I know. There is a warning on the original site about it. But it's a funny story, he, he. I thought it would be fun to see how long it took before someone did find that fact, and you were fast. Hmmmm.

    Maybe Americans isn't that stupid after all :) LOL

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between a fool and the JW legal department is that a fool might be sympathetic ."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    As an American, Kent, I resemble that remark. :^P

    ...what was the question?

  • bboyneko
    bboyneko

    I think kents covering his ass :)

  • voltaire
    voltaire

    I wish I could say with confidence that the story is far too outrageous to be true. Unfortunately, it's probably an accurate reflection of the general intelligence of many fundies. If you've ever read about the Darwin Awards, you know what I mean.

  • Kismet
    Kismet

    bboyneko:

    No he isn't trying to cover his ass. After all Kent himself stated

    Assholes like you (a reference to me) have always tried to discredit what I say, and they have tried desperately to find errors on the Watchtower Observer as well. Without any luck, I might add.

    I think Derek should apologize for being an asshole trying to discredit Kent. (GAG)

    Kismet

  • Kent
    Kent

    Could you please give me the URL to where this story is posted on the Watchtower Observer, Kismet?

    As usual, you prove to be a bluff and a liar.

    I said:

    Assholes like you (a reference to me) have always tried to discredit what I say, and they have tried desperately to find errors on the Watchtower Observer as well. Without any luck, I might add.

    Correct, I did say that. And you still haven't proven anything wrong on that site.

    But of course, humor is something you never heard about, right? Must be a lonely thing playing with your moderator tools - and no posts to delete. LOL

    Yakki Da

    Kent

    "The only difference between a fool and the JW legal department is that a fool might be sympathetic ."

    Daily News On The Watchtower and the Jehovah's Witnesses:
    http://watchtower.observer.org

  • Kismet
    Kismet

    Kent:

    Let's try this again, read teh sentence up to the first comma (it looks like this ','):

    Assholes like you have always tried to discredit what I say, and they have tried desperately to find errors on the Watchtower Observer as well. Without any luck, I might add.

    The second part of the sentence is another statement connected with the conjunction "and" .

    Amazing how someone as stupid as you claim I am has to teach "an editor" about sentence structure.

    Kismet

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