What's the dubs' most ridiculous teaching?

by ozziepost 68 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sir82

  I can't believe this has gone on for 2 whole pages, and no one has mentioned...

  The 7 "bowls of anger" from the book of Revelation were resolutions read aloud to poorly attended conventions of Bible Students in the years 1922 - 1928. Resolutions, incidentally, which would likely get someone d-f'ed for apostasy if he held to them today.

  Actually, come to think of it, pretty much the whole "Revelation Climax" book's interpretations would fall in the upper 1% of any list of "most ridiculous".

  If I remember correctly, the locusts with horse's heads & serpent's tails represented the "stinging message" of JW literature left in people's homes....

  Abaddon / Appolyon really stands for Jesus Christ...

  Even the whole "Lord's day" motif that is the whole basis for their stretching the interpretations to the 20th / 21st centuries....I think I read somewhere that what John really meant when he said "the Lord's day" was "Sunday", as in "one Sunday I happened to see all this stuff..."
• 

  jojochan

  Some that comes to mind are:

  Ex communication between family members.

  seventy weeks of years.

  THE BLOOD ISSUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

  The ressurection of loved ones that will be like the angels in heaven, with no human desire while on the earth.

  The concept of a "spiritual paradise"

  You can celebrate a anniversary, but NOT a birthday.

  To give obedience without question to the "faithful slave"

  Need I go further?

  jojochan.
• 

  unclebruce

  I've read this entire thread - wonderful stuff guys & gals - this thread might be going for some time, times & half a time..

  I did have something to add .. honest I did ..but it's gone - think just cracks me up!!!

  such raw power, such energy such grace and deep loathing of the unclean tower..

  reading a think post is as near as this ol' apostate will get to heaven ..

  sigh .. don't wake me up people .. I think I'm in love .. unclebruce
• 

  Dismembered

  Millions now living will never die.

  Damn! it's one hell of a big corner!

  Dismembered
• 

  jojochan

  the most recockulous deal the dubs have going is thier jacked up, whacked out psuedo mass called the Memorial of all damn things. Where they pass around Emblems which of course no one eats except for some seriously deranged folks that no one in the congregation is too sure of anyway

  what was so funny about that one was that I always thought that one was strange, even when I was in the collective. Since the apostles were partaking them and were not anointed to go to heaven(I guess) would'nt that be a display of a "dis" for not accepting jesus' ransom sacrifice?

  And when I looked on here for further research...I felt sick to my stomach as to what I found out.

  Which was the truth.And how stupid that concept was.

  jojochan
• 

  Collegegurl

  any thing in the daniel book. 1914 , the 2300 days, 1290 days, 1335 days each with a more ridiculus interp. than the next. if i really remembered the rev. it would probably be worse.
• 

  Virgochik

  That women are the weaker vessel and must be in subjection to their husbands. (Yes, I am a feminist!) And this one always got my goat...sisters donning a hankerchief from their purse or a McDonalds napkin, when no brothers were present to pray before field service, or begging a 12 year old boy-child to say the prayer for them. GAG, yuck, pfffft!
• 

  Mary

  Ozzie said: The ships of kittim

  Ozzie, you're going to have to fill me in on this one...........I've never even heard of this!!
• 

  Effervescent

  That school janitors and carpet cleaners (Elders) are somehow automatically qualified to dispense psychological counseling.

  I vote for this one!
• 

  unclebruce

  Yeah Ozzie - Mary & I wanna hear about the ships of Kittim - and if you just made that one up I'm gonna!!!

  That women are the weaker vessel and must be in subjection to their husbands. (Yes, I am a feminist!) And this one always got my goat...sisters donning a hankerchief from their purse or a McDonalds napkin, when no brothers were present to pray before field service, or begging a 12 year old boy-child to say the prayer for them. GAG, yuck, pfffft!

  LOL Virgochic,

  Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy haaaang on - I was one of those 12 year olds!

  Very funny woman - now back in the kitchen & remmember the divine order of things:

  Jehovah

  Jesus

  144,000 Imortals

  Angels of various kinds

  High Bethelites

  Branch overseers

  Low Bethelites

  Zone Overseers

  District Overseers

  Circuit Overseers

  Very low Bethelites

  Presiding Overseers

  Elders

  Ministerial Servants

  Male Pioneers

  Microphone Servants

  12 Year Old Boys

  Elders Wives

  Dogs

  Other females